Text/Ye Feifei yff
Figure/Originated from the network
I am Ye Feifei yff, a non-famous emotional teacher, writing emotional texts that take the heart, hoping to use warm words to bring you some spiritual comfort.
Munir Nasov said: "There is nothing more precious in the life of a couple than sincerity, trust and thoughtfulness. ”
Indeed, happy couples are often able to understand and respect each other and work together to create a better future.
However, in reality, many couples can't do this, and there are too many misunderstandings between each other, so that it affects the feelings and eventually makes the marriage fall apart.
In itself, men and women living together for a long time will breed many contradictions, if the two sides can not communicate and solve in time, lack of necessary understanding and trust, the relationship is difficult to last.
Especially women, in marriage, are most likely to misunderstand men, and there are many mistakes in cognition, which brings great hidden dangers to marriage.
For example, if they see men making less money, they will feel that men are incompetent, unmotivated, and disappointed. However, in most cases, women are cognitively wrong and turn a blind eye to men's efforts.
When men make a lot of money, women will have a completely different attitude, even if they see men playing with their mobile phones at home, doing nothing, they feel that it is taken for granted, and this is the difference.
After all, women in marriage mostly have three misconceptions about men:
First, always think that men do not work hard
In fact, many times, men work hard and do their best to create happiness for the family.
However, everyone's ability is different, it is impossible for all men to succeed, and most men are actually in a very ordinary state.
However, this does not mean that men do not work hard, they work hard, work hard for life, and have done their best.
And women are never used to watching the process, but looking at the results, once they find that the man is not making much money, they feel that he is not working hard and looks down on him in the eyes of the heart, which is not right.
If you measure the value of a man by how much money you make, this in itself is not a correct attitude.
You know, marriage is something that two people pay for together, men are not tools to make money, and their efforts should be affirmed.
If women always think that men are not trying to be motivated, they will eventually make men lose patience and have a big impact on marriage.
Ms. Ning, 38 years old, married her husband for nine years, and finally the marriage went from knowing and loving each other to a strange road, and the feelings fell apart.
At that time, my husband's monthly salary was only about seven thousand, in addition to bearing the family's living expenses, he also had to provide for the house, and every month was very urgent.
To this end, Ms. Ning feels that her husband makes too little money, and after the birth of the child, she feels that the money is not enough to spend.
As long as her husband came back, she would complain to him that she couldn't afford anything, that she didn't have enough money to spend, that he made less money, and that he didn't work hard at all.
As long as the husband retorts, she will immediately lose her temper, and say that the husband of the girlfriend earns tens of thousands of dollars every month, and you are only a few thousand, and it is good to argue.
In this way, the contradiction between the two people became deeper and deeper, and the husband worked overtime every day, instead of exchanging a word of comfort, but was ruthlessly counted down, and gradually lost patience.
Over the years, Ms. Ning has never looked at her husband squarely, always feels that it is not worth it to marry him, and has not lived the life she wants, which is very disappointing. In the end, after nine years of marriage, the two parties ended in divorce.
This is the most common phenomenon in marriage, women think that men do not work hard, can not see the man's efforts, and in fact, men have done their best, this contradiction is a source of emotional collapse.
Second, I always feel that men do not accommodate themselves
After Ms. Ning and her husband divorced, now a person is very uncomfortable, and she feels a lot less warm.
Thinking about it carefully, she found that she had misunderstood her husband before, and at that time, her husband loved her in every way, relied on her for everything, and was particularly accommodating to her, but she did not cherish it.
Once, she and her ex-husband quarreled over money, and they gambled not to let her into the room and did not let him touch it, acting very cold and repulsive.
But the ex-husband was not angry, but spent a lot of effort to coax her, more concerned and considerate of her, and now I think it is very warm.
However, she did not respond in time, and often went out to play, and did not return to the night with her girlfriends, which eventually discouraged her husband.
Now, Ms. Ning understands that in fact, her husband has always been very accommodating to her, although the two people have quarrels, but the husband always bows his head and admits his mistake first.
Thinking of this, she finally woke up to the fact that it was actually caused by her own small willfulness, but unfortunately she could not go back.
In fact, there are many women like Ms. Ning in reality, and they always feel that men do not accommodate themselves, blindly willful, so that men will eventually disappoint.
When married, every couple will have contradictions and disagreements, which requires communication between the two sides to resolve, rather than one cold war and one side to please.
Only when both sides understand and tolerate and think from each other's point of view can the problem be solved.
However, women's minds are mostly sensitive, and once they are arguing, they will take it for granted that men need to be obedient, otherwise they are not in love.
This attitude is basically the main factor affecting feelings, and men can accommodate, but they cannot condone.
If it is once or twice, the man will not be accountable at all, but in a long-term marriage, the woman has always been willful, and the man loves you again, and the patience will be worn away.
After many women divorced, they found that their husbands were good, which is a pity, if they could understand men at that time, if they were not so willful, how could they let their feelings go to a strange road?
Third, always think that men are unfaithful to interact with the opposite sex
After men get married, they want to go out to work and busy with their own careers, and it is inevitable that they will interact with different opposite sexes.
If women are always very sensitive and always think that men and the opposite sex are unfaithful to their feelings, this is too arbitrary.
Trust is the foundation of marriage, if a woman is always uneasy about men and always stares at men, it will make him very passive.
Once a man feels bound and feels stressed to be with you, there is no room for freedom at all, and it is easy for him to lose interest in you.
In fact, in reality, most men are very loyal to their feelings, and whether they have contact with the opposite sex or not, they will not do anything sorry for you.
However, some women just don't believe in men, are too suspicious, and are wary of men everywhere, which ultimately affects feelings.
Just like Ms. Ning, after marriage, she always thinks that her husband's mind is not simple and likes to interact with the opposite sex.
Once, she saw her husband eating with a woman and slapped the other person on the spot, which made her husband very angry.
The woman was a customer of the company, and when she was preparing to sign the order, she was destroyed by Ms. Ning, and the natural business could not be done.
There are many examples like this, and in the end, the husband is completely disappointed, and ms. Ai Ning has no original enthusiasm.
After separating from her husband, Ms. Ning repented that she had always misunderstood her husband.
She was particularly remorseful, if she had not been so suspicious before, and had more trust and respect for her husband, maybe the marriage would not have come to where it is today.
Therefore, many married women may have misunderstandings in this regard and are too distrustful of men.
They always think that men are not single-minded about feelings, in fact, most of them are not facts, but women do not understand, and eventually make the marriage fragile, or even collapse.
Ye Feifei yff emotional message:
Balzac said: "Husband and wife should know each other and understand each other, and then tolerate and love each other, in order to maintain a happy marriage." ”
After marriage, women still have to correct their mentality and know how to maintain and manage marriage, so that their feelings can get better and better, and their days will become happier.
Otherwise, you are always jealous of men, there are too many misunderstandings about men, and eventually the relationship will become strange, and serious both sides will go to a strange road.
To sum up, most women in marriage have these three misconceptions about men:
Always think that men do not work hard, always feel that men do not accommodate themselves, always think that men with the opposite sex is unfaithful.
Of these three aspects, Ms. Ning is the best example, and it is worth reflecting on women after marriage.
When you can really understand men, know how to maintain and manage marriages, I believe that the feelings between husband and wife will be more harmonious.
In short, in marriage, there should be too many misunderstandings, and some people will really be discouraged once they are completely hurt and will never come back.
I hope that the husband and wife in reality can understand and trust each other, care and love each other, and go to a better future together.
END
Author: Ye Feifei yff, focus on the field of emotion creation and sharing, with emotions to communicate with you and my heart, but I hope you and I know each other here, like please pay attention to me.