There used to be a topic on the Internet: "How to quickly destroy a friendship"? A high praise replied: "Borrow money." It means losing a friend, so lend him money or ask him to borrow money to try. Although this conclusion is absolute, it is actually quite reasonable. Around us, because of the money involved in the dissolution of friends or chickens and dogs jumping, it is not nothing. And, not just friendships, all emotional relationships, once it comes to money, are not very good.
Hu Zude once said in the "Shanghai Proverbs": "Relatives do not share wealth, and common wealth will never come again." "Presumably, it means that relatives should not be entangled in money and money, otherwise they will destroy each other's relationship." In fact, from another side, even if it is between brothers and sisters, try not to involve too much in money, otherwise it is easy to have contradictions, and finally may break the love.
However, the Chinese people have always attached great importance to family affection, and basically attach great importance to kinship. If a friend opens his mouth and can refuse, and a relative opens his mouth, it is difficult to refuse. Can't bear it and be embarrassed, both emotions. Then in this case, if you meet relatives who carry Qing and Zhi En Tu Bao, it is also a good thing. But meeting bad relatives is simply a story of a farmer and a snake.
Unfortunately, relatives like the latter still account for the majority of us. After all, relatives who know ento will have more empathy, and they will not open their mouths until they have to. Regarding the unclear relatives, there is a saying on the Internet: "Look down on you when you are down, and envy you when you are doing well, he wants you to live well, but does not want you to live better than him." ”
In the face of such relatives, try not to get too involved in money, or if you still want to keep the affection between relatives, it is best not to have a relationship with money. Otherwise, the final result may be: you feel wronged, and the other party thinks that you are not good enough. Li Yan encountered such a thing, and now she regrets her original decision.
Li Yan and her husband are college classmates, and the relationship between the two has always been very good, although the two families are not right, and they are not from the same place. But the two insisted, and they both stayed in the city, and the job was also very good, so in the end the marriage was still done.
Although Li Yan's family has good economic conditions, she also has an older brother, so her parents cannot fully help Li Yan in terms of economy and manpower. In addition, the two sides are far away from home, and the in-laws are not used to living here. Therefore, Li Yan and his wife are completely dependent on the two of them to work hard.
This model, before there were no children, was still quite perfect, but after having children, Li Yan felt bad. Although the two currently have a good income and do not have a mortgage or car loan, asking a nanny to take care of the children does not have any financial pressure. But Li Yan was not at ease, she felt that she was an outsider.
However, the mother's parents are taking their grandchildren, there is no time to come to help, and the in-laws are not willing to come over, feeling that unaccustomed is one aspect, mainly because the health of both of them is not very good. Li Yan thought about it, thought of the eldest sister, and said to her husband, her husband also felt very suitable. Both forget that what is not fully considered is usually self-righteous, not a fit in the true sense.
The eldest sister has been divorced for a year, and Li Yan does not know the reason, because in the eyes of her in-laws, divorce is a disgraceful thing. Therefore, Li Yan and his wife did not know the specific reasons for the divorce. The eldest sister now takes the child, lives in her mother's house, goes out to work during the day, and returns at night. Wages are low, and round-trip time is wasted on the road. Li Yan felt that it was better to let the eldest sister take her own children and come here to help herself with her children, and her income could be higher, and she was her own person.
But Li Yan's parents disagreed, hoping that she would think carefully, saying that it was better to ask the nanny to spend more money than to let the eldest sister come and take the children. Her parents were bitter, but Li Yan couldn't listen to it, just like she had to get married. Why can't she help each other between relatives? Li Yan's relatives on the mother's side, because of Li Yan's parents' handling, to a large extent, each other are very measured, and the feelings are also very good.
Therefore, Li Yan did not realize that there are still many relatives in this world who have no sense of proportion, and once they have any economic involvement with such relatives, the final result is that the relationship is frozen.
Li Yan did not listen to the persuasion of her parents and talked to her in-laws and eldest sister about taking the child. The mother-in-law promised with a full mouth, and the eldest sister promised that she would take care of the children well, so that the younger brother and the two sons would have no worries at work. So, this thing began. But the beginning is very good, the process is not good at all, and the result can actually be predicted.
At first, Li Yan still felt very good, and she also gave the eldest sister double the price of the nanny on the market. For nieces, in terms of food and clothing, they are the same standards as their children, and they also help arrange suitable schools and contribute money. Li Yan felt that she was already in place, but before long, she felt that something was wrong.
In the past, when the nanny was there, because it was really hard to take the children, although the whole home could not be completely tidy, but things could still be classified. But after the eldest sister came over, she directly messed up. Li Yan gently mentioned this matter to the eldest sister, but the eldest sister looked dismissive and said: "There are many things to do with children, and you don't know, I am your husband's sister, won't you really be my nanny?" Besides, you come back from work and do it when you're idle, it's not good. ”
Li Yan was stunned, she was indeed her own great sister, there was nothing wrong with it, but didn't she just ask her to be a nanny when she spent money? Do you spend double the money to ask others to do things, and in the end you still need to do things yourself? But at this point, Li Yan did not know what to do for a while, and later convinced herself that she might be too strict in her requirements, and she also had a handle. But in the days that followed, Li Yan found it getting worse and worse.
From the beginning, Li Yan came home from work to take the handle, and later almost all the housework was in Li Yan's hands, and sometimes even dinner had to be done by herself. The existence of the eldest sister seems to be to take a child, and then take more money than others, and feel less. He also complained to his mother, saying that the same mother did not have a different life, and his brother lived a comfortable life, but he wanted to be called at his brother's home.
If all this, Li Yan can bear it, a year after the eldest sister came over, Li Yan accidentally found that the eldest sister gave the child instant noodles and completely broke out. That day, Li Yan met with customers at noon, felt that people were a little uncomfortable, and took leave in the afternoon. She bought some dishes and snacks that her niece liked to eat, and was ready to go straight home and have a good family reunion in the evening. Because she didn't tell the eldest sister in advance, the eldest sister didn't know anything about her return.
As soon as Li Yan entered the house, she heard her daughter crying, and then her niece laughed. She went to the bedroom door and found that the eldest sister was forcing the child to eat instant noodles, saying that your parents are so rich, but they gave me such a little money, and they also called me as a maid, if you don't eat these, how can I save money for my daughter.
The niece laughed and hugged the child and didn't let her move. Li Yan was angry, no wonder her daughter had lost so much weight this year, and it turned out that the eldest sister took care of the child in this way. If it were not for the child's good foundation, it is estimated that it is not just thin and small, but a problem. I also blame myself, my daughter has always told herself that she doesn't like her aunt to eat noodles for herself, and she also advises her daughter not to be picky eaters.
The eldest sister-in-law saw her sister-in-law holding up the child, was momentarily stunned, and then stuttered and began to explain. Li Yan did not quarrel with her, she knew in her heart that her parents' original dissuasion was right, there were too many relatives, and they really could not be related to money, because they would indeed let you give up your hard-earned wealth on the one hand, and look down on you on the other hand. How good you are, how sincere you are, it doesn't matter.
Despite her husband's persuasion, Li Yan chose to let her eldest sister go, and then she sent the child to the nursery. The result of this is obvious. The eldest sister is accustomed to the current relatively relaxed and high-income life, and is very reluctant to go to work in the factory again. Together with Li Yan's in-laws, she went around telling Li Yan about li Yan's crossing of the river and demolishing, without mentioning how bad her words and deeds were.
Although Li Yan said that she did not care, she regretted it in her heart. The relationship between himself and his in-laws is frozen, and it is impossible to return to the relatively harmonious relationship before. If I had listened to the persuasion of my parents, this would not be the case now.
The essence of man is profit-seeking, which is an objective fact. In the face of money, it is also the easiest to test a person's feelings. From ancient times to the present, how many relatives and friends, because of "money", eventually tore their faces and turned against each other. So, if you can, try not to get tangled up with relatives on money. After all, we can't know in advance whether the other party is a person who knows the reward or a person who does not know what to do.
But because of the blood relationship, family affection has a natural superiority in all emotional relationships. It is an emotion that each of us cannot choose and cannot give up. Therefore, it is not realistic to want to completely avoid contact with relatives and completely refuse to help each other between relatives, and it is even more cold-blooded. Therefore, we must remember that the help between relatives should have a sense of boundaries and selectivity, and try not to be involved in money. In this way, to a certain extent, the stability of the relationship between relatives will be maintained, and the temperature of blood and kinship will not be cooled.
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