I often talk about separation anxiety, and today I want to share with you a professional term that is very related to separation anxiety called "attachment development".
Several important milestones in attachment development have important implications for a child's later psychological, social, and emotional development.
Behaviors such as the baby's crying, resistance to strangers, and trying to follow the parents who are leaving all indicate how the baby's attachment relationship changes.
Babies are born with the ability to promote their own attachment development. We can recall the various behaviors of babies that attract the attention of adults:
The cries of newborns easily stir up people's emotions, and it is difficult for people to ignore their cries.
Crying then becomes one of the strongest signals for babies seeking caregivers to respond.
Another obvious attachment behavior that most babies are born with is eye contact with others.
Newborn eyes soften most adult hearts.
Also, if you gently touch a newborn's finger, they will usually hold your finger tightly.
If you speak to an awake newborn, they like to turn their heads to you.
If you quietly get up and leave them, their eyes will follow your face all the time.
All of these behaviors promote the development of attachment relationships.
Studies have shown that babies react differently to the person he is attached to from the start.
Later, when the attachment object leaves the room, the baby cries, which indicates that the baby's trust in the attachment object is developing.
They will follow the object of attachment closely, initially just with their eyes, and then when they will climb, they will crawl to the object of attachment, and when the baby will be gone, they will follow the object of attachment.
During the interaction, the caregiver and the infant send important signals to each other. They share emotions together, especially positive emotional exchanges.
Babies have the ability to please others, which in turn makes babies feel happy on their own.
Through the reciprocal behaviors of the caregiver and the baby in life, such as touching, caressing, eye contact, and feeding, the baby and the caregiver develop a very close relationship.
In addition, information about brain research suggests that these early behaviors help form neural pathways in the brain, which may stimulate mirror neurons.
These neural pathways provide a physiological basis for cultivating a sense of trust. Positive early experience strengthens the connections between neurons in the brain.
Babies need to have relationships with adults because they need to rely on the nurturing and love of others. Babies are dependent.
Attachment is a natural way to ensure that babies receive both emotional and physical pampering.
Once babies are able to distinguish their mother or caregiver from others, they experience two types of anxiety.
First, babies between the ages of 8 and 10 months begin to develop fear of strangers, which is what we often call stranger anxiety.
Second, after babies are able to accurately identify their mothers, they are always worried about losing their mothers when they are about 10-12 months old.
These two fears suggest that babies have the ability to distinguish and recognize differences, and are also clear signals of brain development.
Corresponding to the second fear, the infant cannot yet understand that the target that has disappeared from sight remains.
Piaget called this phenomenon "object permanent", and it was understandable for babies to worry about their mother leaving, because they could not yet foresee that this separation was only temporary.
This helps to emphasize the interplay between dependence, mental development, and trust in the attachment process.
When an 18-month-old sticks to his mom and cries for his mom to leave (obvious attachment behavior), he's actually expressing "I know I need you" (mental function).
As the child's mental faculties develop, his experience will tell him that he believes his mother is only temporarily away and will come back.
When a child recognizes that the environment around them is friendly and meets their needs, trust is built.
As babies grow older and are able to learn self-care skills to be cared for, they can develop autonomy and independence from attachment relationships.
Infants and toddlers are becoming more receptive to the reality that their parents are leaving them, knowing that their parents will return.
This ability to trust a relationship is fundamental to the development of autonomy, which is one of the focal issues of the toddler period.
Anxiety that children develop when their parents or primary caregivers leave is called "separation anxiety."
Separation anxiety usually peaks at the age of 1 year in children. If parents send their children to a childcare facility before or after separation anxiety peaks, the child can adjust to the new environment relatively quickly.
In professional childcare institutions, infants and young children will see teachers as a haven of home or a base of trust, giving them the courage to explore and practice (develop psychological and social skills).
They regularly look around to see if the teacher is still around, regain the energy to move around, and continue to explore their surroundings.
It is very important that parents send their children to childcare facilities and should not sneak away.
Parents saying goodbye to their children will help them understand the parting. After adaptation, the child will know that the parents returning to the side is also part of the parting.
The empathetic teacher is able to be keenly aware of the child's potential negative emotions and communicate with the child's emotions and language.
Accept these emotions and emotions of children without disturbing them, providing a safe base for the emotional development of infants and young children.
Here are some tips for parents dealing with separation anxiety in toddlers:
First, leave as soon as you say goodbye to your child
Some parents are more anxious than their children when they are separated from their children.
Teachers should let parents understand that we can fully understand how parents feel when they are separated, but leaving immediately after saying goodbye will help children cope with separation anxiety more easily.
Second, allow children to express their emotions
The teacher gets the child out of this emotion by distracting him or trying to downplay the kind of thing as much as possible.
Third, create a fun environment for children and play fun games
When they calm down, they can quickly get involved.
Some parents will worry that their children will establish secondary attachment relationships outside the family, thus affecting the primary attachment relationship between parents and children, which is unfounded.
Secondary attachment is a complement to the child's primary attachment relationship and does not replace primary attachment.
Separation anxiety and all other emotions that infants and young children experience in childcare facilities are topics of interaction and interaction between parents and teachers.
Professional teachers will help them cope with these emotions during their interactions with infants and young children until their emotions calm down.
It is important for parents to understand that these emotions are just a sign of a strong attachment relationship, and that this relationship will remain the same once established.
Infants and young children will learn how to cope with separation anxiety in the process, and this skill will be beneficial to the child's growth for a lifetime, and the child will become autonomous, confident and independent.
So dear parents, if you trust the childcare institution you choose and the professionalism of the teachers, then you can rest assured and insist on handing over your children to the teachers.
Teachers will establish their trust and attachment relationship with the child, give the child another safe home, accompany the child's growth, and help the child to be independent and autonomous in the process.