People exhibit many social reactions soon after birth—love, fear, anger— but first and foremost love. Babies after birth are almost the first to develop a preference for familiar faces and sounds. Children develop attachment to others who look at them, which is a very important aspect of the development of infants and young children. Attachment is the initial social bond between infants and young children and primary caregivers.
Children are separated from the people they trust and most attach to after birth, and they will have emotional fluctuations, which are familiar to us.
First of all, let's understand attachment, what exactly is attachment relationship?
Attachment relationship: Centered on the emotional and physical vulnerability and dependence of infants and young children, infants and young children in this relationship need protection, help, love and comfort from others.
From birth, parents provide services to the baby to meet their needs (eating, drinking, pulling, sprinkling, sleeping), but it usually takes up to 6 months for the child to show a clear emotional attachment to a particular individual (primary caregiver). From 6 months on, the child gradually becomes aware of his or her attachment to his or her parents (the primary caregiver).
The earliest sign of a clear sense of attachment in babies is anxiety when separated from their parents, but also "stranger anxiety", we will find that children around 5 months old are like angels, seeing who is laughing, the more they grow up, the easier it is to "fear life", this is because this laughter is the movement of facial muscles.
Infants and young children at about 6 months, perceptual discrimination ability and memory ability are developing, can already distinguish between familiar and unfamiliar people, can clearly remember different faces, emotional and interpersonal development has undergone major changes, there have been different attitudes to people with different degrees of attachment to people and different degrees of familiarity.
"Stranger anxiety" usually occurs about 6 months after the baby is born, peaks at 8-12 months, and gradually disappears at 15 months, and the same development law is the same as what we call separation anxiety.
We generally divide separation anxiety into three stages:
The first stage: the stage of resistance - children are prone to howling and crying, kicking and making trouble;
The second stage: the disappointment stage - the child is still crying, intermittent, but the noise of the action has decreased, the expression is relatively dull, ignoring others;
The third stage, the detachment stage, begins to be cared for by outsiders and moves normally, but when you see your mother (the main caregiver), you will show a sad expression. It is also what we often call the "psychological weaning period".
How do you adapt your child to a childcare facility?
There are clear provisions in the "Standards for the Establishment of Childcare Institutions (Trial)":
Article 19: Childcare establishments generally set up three types of classes:
Nursing Class (6-12 months, less than 10 people)
Nursery (12-24 months, less than 15 students)
Nursery School (24-36 months, less than 20 students)
Infants and young children over 18 months old can be mixed into classes with no more than 18 students per class.
The living units of each class should be used independently.
Article 20: The ratio of reasonable staffing to infants and young children shall not be less than the following standards: 1:3 for nursing classes, 1:5 for nursery classes, and 1:7 for nursery classes.
However, novice teachers who have just done childcare, it is recommended that the teacher-student ratio under 2 years old should be maintained at 1:3, so that the adaptation and growth of teachers is an acceptable ratio, and it will also improve the quality of our childcare institutions, and each child can have an appropriate and immediate response.
Now childcare institutions generally accept 1-3 years old children, and this period of children is the most severe period of separation anxiety, some studies have found that if infants and young children have not begun to enter the nursery at the age of 12-18 months, children will become more depressed, nervous, they are more aware of separation from their parents than younger babies. Children who have a secure attachment to their mother (the primary caregiver) or an insecure attachment, when they start to go to a childcare facility, the stress hormone- cortisol level will increase, and the external manifestation is crying, depression and uneasiness. The long separation that a child experiences in a childcare center will expect to be accompanied by his parents, and this uneasy emotion will happen no matter how much our teachers prevent it, so with the cooperation of parents, children can adapt to the childcare institution more quickly.
Now our childcare institutions can provide full-day care, half-day care, timed care, temporary care services, new children can adapt from our temporary care, timed care, in the week before the official admission to the kindergarten, let the child enter the childcare institution first, in the parents in a timely and immediate response, slowly guide the child to adapt to the environment of the childcare institution, the child's nervousness can be effectively alleviated.
First of all, before the child enters the child's care facility, our responsible teacher should communicate with the child's mother (the main caregiver) to understand the child's habits, including the child's daily life rules, response methods, preferences, and how parents want the teacher to take care of him, so that they can sensitively respond to the child's needs when they contact the child. That is, to make a timely and appropriate response to the child's physical or psychological needs, increase the child's sense of security, and quickly close the distance with the child.
Secondly, the first day the child enters the childcare institution, first familiar with the teacher who takes care of himself, in the company of the mother (the main caregiver), and establish a relationship with the responsible teacher, during this time, our responsible teacher should respond to the child's behavior according to what has been learned before, the mother (the main caregiver) should participate in it, the teacher can arrange the child and the mother (the main caregiver) in a room/corner with toys, observe the child's reaction, and establish a preliminary connection with the child through the toy. It should be noted that if the child refuses to interact with the teacher, do not force, to observe the appropriate time, such as when the child is playing with toys, the teacher can participate in the time, in this process, the mother (the main caregiver) should be enthusiastic encouragement, in line with the needs of the child, appropriate can increase physical contact, in the child's consent, you can hold hands or hug. When I was with a child before, I asked, "Can I hold you?" He hesitated for two seconds and immediately gave me a big, very warm hug, remembering to respect the child's own ideas and treat him as an independent individual.
When the child and the responsible teacher get along more happily, the mother (the main caregiver) can leave for half an hour or 1 hour (the child is in good condition, the time can be appropriately extended), during the time when the mother leaves, the teacher can hold the child, increase the child's sense of security, start from the child's interest, read picture books, draw... Divert the child's attention, if the child adapts well until the parents are about to return, they can let the child play with other children, the teacher pays close attention to the side, and helps at any time; if the child is not in a good state, the mother (the main caregiver) can be allowed to pick up the child in advance. After the mother (the main caregiver) returns, the teacher tells the mother about the child's situation today, so that the mother has a detailed understanding.
Such separation training can be carried out in advance when parents are at home, starting from 5 minutes, and slowly extending the time, which will greatly alleviate the child's separation anxiety.
Then, the child adapts to the short separation and can adapt to a half-day life in the childcare institution, including eating and sleeping, which is a big challenge for some children. At this stage, the responsible teacher needs to stay with the child one-on-one, because separation and falling asleep are very important in the adaptation stage, and we also have to take care of the parents' emotions. Don't sneak away when the mother (the main caregiver) leaves, observe the child's emotions, play together first, and wait until the child is relaxed And the mother (the main caregiver) will leave. At this time, the teacher should try to comfort the child, tell him that his mother will come back, and hold him tightly to pass on the power. When your child is calm, you can play with other children. When it is time for the child to sleep, the teacher in charge should understand the child's sleeping preferences in advance, it is best to prepare the blankets, plush toys that the child relies on, patiently soothe, comfort him in the way the child likes until he falls asleep, wait for the child to fall asleep, call the mother (the main caregiver) to tell the child's life for half a day and the state of the child's sleep, alleviating the contradictions and anxieties of parents about the child's daycare. When the mother comes to pick up the child, you can also let the mother play with the child for a while, so that the mother can have a personal experience of the child's state of childcare.
Many parents want to make a lot of phone calls to inquire about the child's condition when the child first enters the kindergarten, and they are afraid that the phone will affect the teacher's care for the child, so the teachers must also take care of the parents' emotions while calming the child's separation anxiety.
We can agree with parents at a time point, such as when the child can call and communicate when sleeping, this time will not affect the teacher's time to take care of the child, the teacher is also a more relaxed state, parents have the agreed time and expectations, and the psychology will have a sense of security. The communication time with parents is determined, the parents' anxiety is reduced, and the anxiety will not be passed on to the child.
When the children and parents have adapted to the child's life after entering the kindergarten, the communication between teachers and parents can provide feedback on the daily status of the child according to the time of our regular communication.
If our childcare institutions can establish such rules and regulations, parents and teachers can communicate with each other on the daily experience and needs of children to a certain frequency, alleviating the separation anxiety of children and parents, and home co-parenting will be more relaxed.
Author: Yijie Meng Xiaoqing
Editor: Yijie Shen Simin
Review: Yijie Zou Liping
Early education
A Jie family education