Introduction: In the school season, another batch of new babies have entered the kindergarten, and the baby's separation anxiety is definitely there. However, when the separation anxiety of parents is more serious than that of children, it will greatly prolong the baby's separation adaptation period.
Text/37 degrees warm dad
The little orange has been in the kindergarten for a week, still crying, the mother is particularly worried, directly to the teacher said: "If, my child is still like this next week, I will not send, you must give me a refund." This wave of operations made the teacher feel confused, and the explanation was not clear, and this matter naturally transferred to me.
After chatting with the mother, I found that the mother's separation anxiety was more serious than the child's.
First, you can't see the child crying, pick up two time periods, as long as the child is crying, the mother will feel that she can't stand it.
Second, after returning home, I am always worried that the child is in the kindergarten, not adapting, and whether he is crying all day long.
Ask the mother if she has transmitted some negative thoughts to the child, and the mother categorically vetoed it! However, I know that a mother's every move, including facial expressions, can send some negative information to the child. When the child captures this information, he will understand: My kindergarten mother is very worried, and it does not seem to be a particularly good thing.
Parents do not say anything about negative information, and children can understand, is it too mysterious? Not at all, here's the thing: Babies around 7-10 months old can capture their mother's facial expressions to determine if there's a "danger" to it, whether I can do it and explore it.
For example, when a child comes to an unfamiliar place or faces a strange person, in general, he will first observe the mother's expression, obtain information, and then combine his own judgment to make a decision. If the mother's expression is pleasant and positive, and the child himself does not feel dangerous, then he will explore his surroundings or explore interpersonal interactions with strangers. Conversely, the child activates the fear system, affecting the activation of both exploration and interpersonal communication systems.
Some scholars have done research on the reference effect of emotions: Souz et al. chose children about 1 year old when repeating the cliff experiment. As they climbed toward the cliff, they would stop to observe, and on the other side, the mother would make a look of fear and delight upon request. When the mother makes a frightened expression, these toddlers refuse to crawl forward; when the mother makes a happy expression, most of the toddlers check the cliff again and climb over it. Later, psychologists conducted more detailed research on the "emotional reference role", and infants aged 7-10 months began to use expression signals in causality reference. Popular understanding: Babies aged 7-10 months begin to develop and have the ability to judge unfamiliar environments and people by observing their mother's expressions.
Regarding the separation anxiety of children entering kindergarten, parents should first do not pass negative and negative signals to children through language, limbs, expressions and other channels; secondly, they must understand the stage of separation anxiety development of young children and adopt appropriate methods to help children quickly walk through this transition period.
Separation anxiety in children is broadly divided into three stages:
Stage 1: The Stage of Resistance. Your child will tell you through voice, body movements, language, expressions, and so on: I don't want to leave you.
Stage 2: The Disappointment Phase. The child's expression is cold, unresponsive, and he turns from annoyance to quiet, in a helpless state.
The third stage: the detachment stage. The child's attachment behavior has been suppressed to some extent, but the attachment connection has not disappeared, but continues to exist internally in the form of emotional links.
The small orange mentioned in the case was in the second stage at that time. By looking at the surveillance video, I saw that the little orange was soon no longer crying after her mother left, but sat silently on the side, looking sluggish. The baby who has experienced this stage will enter the next stage, in layman's terms: the child understands that I must be separated from the mother for a while, but the mother does not want me, she still comes back to pick me up, I must adapt to this way.
For the process of adapting to separation anxiety, some children have a long time, some children have a short time, generally speaking, about two weeks, children can adapt to kindergarten life and eliminate separation anxiety. Of course, there are also highly sensitive children, for the emotional need is higher, the adaptation process may be longer, parents can help children relieve separation anxiety and shorten the adaptation time.
First, parents should not show excessive anxiety and worry. If there is a similar mood, even if it is not expressed through language, it will be transmitted to the child through expressions.
Second, before entering the kindergarten, take your child to familiarize yourself with the kindergarten environment. Children can feel safe in a familiar environment, can integrate into group life more quickly, and activate exploration and interpersonal communication systems in unfamiliar environments.
Third, you can prepare an attachment for your child. For example, Little Orange holds a giant panda doll every day, and this giant panda doll still holds a baby panda in its arms. The role of attachment is to establish an emotional link with my mother through such a physical object- a doll, and I feel as if my mother is with me. The reason is very simple, because children of this age can think superficially, that is, think through the reflection of physical objects in the brain.
Fourth, establish a sense of separation for the child. According to the giant panda and baby panda dolls that the little orange mother brought to the child, I told the mother: "This is the panda mother, this is the baby panda, the mother wants to be separated from the baby for a while, but the mother still loves her baby." "Little Orange Mom, every day with the baby to make such a link, a week later, little orange has undergone some changes. He has begun to try to participate in class group activities, and the separation anxiety with his mother is gradually decreasing.
These changes in the child are all due to the mother, the mother realizes her problem point and begins to seek a change, and I am just a leader.
Conclusion: Separation anxiety is inevitable, and parents should look at it rationally. If you project your anxiety to your child through expressions, emotions, words, actions, etc., it will inevitably prolong the child's adaptation to separation anxiety.
Disclaimer: In order to protect the information of the parties, the names in the text are pseudonyms, and all personal characteristics are hidden, if there are similarities, it is purely coincidental.
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