laitimes

Crying, not going to school, and severe separation anxiety, only because my mother made a wrong plan before school started

It is normal for children who have just entered kindergarten to show strong separation anxiety, but a third-grade elementary school student still shows strong discomfort after a month of school, which is problematic.

Text/37 degrees warm dad

Zeze, a young boy I have served for a long time, is in the third grade this year. A month after school started, my mom hurriedly asked to talk to me. The problems that mothers encounter are: the child can no longer go to school normally, shows a particularly strong separation anxiety, cries in the class, and the teacher calls the parents to take the child home.

Crying, not going to school, and severe separation anxiety, only because my mother made a wrong plan before school started

I hear this situation of children, it is really heart-wrenching! After all, he was already in the third grade, and he still showed such a strong discomfort, indicating that he did have a problem. In response to the child's current performance, I only asked the mother one question: "How is the plan before the child starts school?" "After my mother repeated the school start plan for her child, I told her that the problem was here.

After the winter vacation, the mother let the child completely release himself. The mother said: "The child has been busy for a semester, and I just want to let the child have a good time. "After the Spring Festival, the mother began to grasp the child's homework, and then caught up with the online class to start the class, and the child's learning time was about 10-12 hours a day. Listen to online classes in the morning, write homework in the afternoon until the evening, and my mother also adopted a one-size-fits-all heart-to-heart plan.

Crying, not going to school, and severe separation anxiety, only because my mother made a wrong plan before school started

A week before the start of school, the child also enjoys a carefree holiday life, and then the mother said: "Starting tomorrow, we will start to live according to the school schedule, adjust our schedule, and prepare for the start of school." "In the last two weeks, I worked overtime to study and make up homework, and implemented a strict plan for the opening of the school. How can a child not feel stressed? Under such pressure, it is also expected that the child will show a strong discomfort.

Crying, not going to school, and severe separation anxiety, only because my mother made a wrong plan before school started

Why can't moms do that?

First, during the holidays, children should be helped to plan their time reasonably, and distribute homework and curriculum arrangements to each day to complete, rather than "saving up" to complete them together, so that the pressure on children will be very large.

Second, the closing plan before the start of school cannot adopt a "one-size-fits-all" and "cliff-like" plan, which will make children feel more pressure and even have fears about the start of school.

Crying, not going to school, and severe separation anxiety, only because my mother made a wrong plan before school started

The adjustment method I gave to my mom was:

First, don't think about the child's learning effect, the class can't understand, after going home, parents will do tutoring. The most important thing at the moment is to help children eliminate their fear of going to school and be willing to go to school.

Second, take time out of your child every day, and it is recommended to do meditation training with your child. Every night, the mother accompanies the child, and the mother and son face each other and hold hands, which can not only enhance the feelings of mother and child, eliminate the child's sense of abandonment, but also train the child's attention.

Crying, not going to school, and severe separation anxiety, only because my mother made a wrong plan before school started

A week later, my mother called: "Send your child to school today, and the child will say goodbye to us happily." It's just that the attention span is not very good. I responded to my mom by saying, "Look at the child change more and focus positively." Isn't it much better now than it was a week ago? Daily attention training, insist on doing not give up. ”

Crying, not going to school, and severe separation anxiety, only because my mother made a wrong plan before school started

I'm also happy to hear my mother's feedback on her child's change. In fact, most of the time, children's grades are not necessarily related to learning, but are likely to be related to parental interaction and parenting strategies. Take Zeze in the case, for example, he is a highly sensitive child and has a high demand for the care of his parents. The second is that the mother's arrangement of the holiday and the pre-school closing plan has caused pressure on the child.

Conclusion: Parents are the guardians of children, in the supervision, help children to develop a learning plan, first of all, to fully consider the child's age characteristics, followed by soliciting children's opinions, respect the child's ideas, so that the plan is more willing to implement.

Statement: In order to protect the parties, all relevant information is hidden, the characters in the text are pseudonyms, and if there is a similarity, it is purely coincidental.

@37 Degrees Warm Dad Psychological Institute Marriage, Family and Parent-Child Relationship in-the-job research, sharing psychological parenting knowledge every day. According to incomplete statistics: 99.99% of people who pay attention to warm fathers have happier marriages and more well-behaved children.

Share it and be a value deliverer!

The copyright of this article belongs to the original author! It may not be reproduced without permission!

Some of the pictures are from the Internet, if there is infringement, contact the author to delete!

Read on