A few days ago, a video of brushing the screen told such a warm story.
Six years ago, Huillo, a young boy, went to a Coldplay concert with his father.
Somehow, a song "Fix You" made the little one can't help but cry.
Huillo is a special boy, he is autistic child, his perception is slower than many people, but he is still touched by music.
Six years later, he took his own "Different is OK", which spoke for the autistic crowd, on the stage of the Coldplay concert.
The idol sang with him: being different is ok , and 80,000 people cheered him on the spot.
This is the cry of an autistic child to the world with his own voice.
In life, autistic children like Huillo are actually not in the minority.
They are closed-minded, difficult to socialize, slow in language, look at the world in a different way than ordinary people, and may not be able to leave the care of others for a lifetime...
Some say they are children of the stars, who can only shine alone in the night sky.
And what kind of life would it be like to have a child with stars, take care of and accompany him to grow up?
As mothers of autistic children, they all have the helplessness of being chosen by fate, and they have the persistence of salvaging hope from despair.
The following are the statements of the three star mothers.
Mama Zeze: This is support, not a drag.
To be honest, when Zeze had just been diagnosed with autism, I wanted to take him to suicide several times.
I want to jump upstairs with him in my arms, drive my car into a big flower bed, hope that the traffickers will abduct him...
It seems that as soon as he disappears, there will be no trouble, I can pretend not to hurt him, and everyone is relieved.
Last summer, when it was raining heavily in Zhengzhou, I just took Zeze to the local area for rehabilitation intervention, and the rented house was without water and electricity for five days and five nights.
It was raining heavily outside that day, and I looked at the children sleeping next to me, crying from three o'clock in the morning to five o'clock, not knowing who to call to rescue me, and no one could help me.
Zeze is not "abnormal" from birth.
He was a healthy child, no different from the other children, crying, laughing, and being naughty, but one day I suddenly felt that something was wrong — he hadn't spoken to me for a week.
Then his sense of perception began to degenerate all the way.
Don't look at people, don't communicate with people, don't use your fingers, shout that he won't agree again, talk to himself about something he doesn't understand, stand in the same place and laugh, turn around, cry, run, bite...
At the age of 3, Zeze was diagnosed with regressive autism with no cure.
Before that, what was autism, I had never heard of it.
Accepting that my normal child had autism, I spent more than a year.
It was the darkest time of my life.
I cried in front of Zeze and said, "Mom is sorry for you, it was Mom who didn't take you well", but he just laughed, and the more I cried, the louder he laughed.
I'm afraid that even if I die one day, he won't know.
It took me a long time to forgive myself, to learn not to blame myself, and to tell myself that I didn't blame for this.
In the past two years, I have not slept a good night's sleep, escaped from reality, run around, constantly collapsed, and then forcibly healed myself.
I took Zeze to private institutions, public hospitals for intervention, to find local parents small group learning experience, but also reported online classes, before and after has spent more than 200,000 yuan, once also quarreled with my husband to divorce.
The only fortunate thing is that Zeze's autism is mild.
Image source: Kuaishou 2760831489
Although he is still not very expressive, he can understand a lot of what I say, and there is no problem with the basic self-care of life.
Every little bit of progress he made along the way, such as looking at me and reacting to me, I saw it in my eyes.
It was all hope, even if hope would soon be worn away by his other out-of-control.
Hope and disappointment go back and forth, and I know it's a long road that I have to go.
Image source: Kuaishou 2760831489
In fact, before I didn't like children, I didn't know how to be a mother, it was Zeze who taught me how to love him, how to love the people around me, love my husband, love my parents, love myself.
He gave me a lot, as if I was the little friend who needed to be taught to grow up.
Now Zeze is really well-behaved, he is my little follower, can help me dry clothes, peel potatoes, eat snail powder with me, clean up.
I am not a person who is used to being lonely, and his brother will leave me when he grows up, but he will most likely stay with me for the rest of my life.
Maybe God is using another way to give someone who will accompany me all my life.
Image source: Kuaishou 2760831489
It may also be because I know that I will be a good mother, Zeze reincarnated into my belly, if it is an irresponsible mother, I will not care about him.
So I believe that Zeze is here to repay the favor.
I'll get older, he'll grow up, we can take care of each other all the time, it's support, not a drag.
Recently, I have told myself that I must take good care of myself in order to take good care of Zeze.
This life is still very long, if I can, I want to go to a rehabilitation certificate, enrich myself, in the future can also better take care of Zeze, if I can help others, it is the best thing.
The future is still very promising.
Chen Jie: I am a person who has died once.
From the day I became the mother of an autistic child, this road has been so hard.
As I said before, I am the one who died once.
"It is impossible to take care of myself in life in the future," this is what my son Qi Qi said to me on the day he was diagnosed with moderate autism.
And now Qi Qi is 22 years old, working at Disney, working steadily, not at all what the doctor said.
Only I know how difficult this road is, and how much Qi Qi has taught me.
On the day of the diagnosis, our family did not speak, slept, did not have tears, and did not know where the future of the children and the family was.
Qi Qi is only two and a half years old, and this disease will be with him for life and cannot be cured.
So within a week of the diagnosis, I submitted my resignation to the unit, quit my stable job, and decided to take the child to do rehabilitation intervention.
Even if it can't be cured, it is better to be improved through training and special education than to do nothing.
During that time, I was both a mother and a teacher, and I faced my autistic son alone, teaching him the same skill hundreds of times, eating, dressing, putting on shoes...
But his progress was so slow and slow that he asked him nothing responded.
Occasional surprises, and quickly overturned by endless repetitive training, I was overwhelmed and did not know how long I would have to suffer.
At that time, there were almost no rehabilitation institutions for children with autism in Shanghai, and there was nowhere to go except for my tutoring.
I made up my mind to get tens of thousands of yuan, decided to set up a rehabilitation institution for him, and saved money to invite experts to give lectures, which ended the mutual torture of our mother and son.
Later, Qi Qi went to primary school and junior high school, came out for internship, apprenticeship, and work, but was also discriminated against, bullied, and also collected protection fees by the eldest sister.
I don't know how many times I said "I'm sorry" to others, and he didn't change it.
But fortunately, he has one of the biggest advantages: he has always had a positive belief in his heart, to read, to work, to be a down-to-earth person.
Qi Qi himself was admitted to an amateur university, and now this job is actually found by himself.
He has always wanted to go to Disney to work, twice the resume was rejected, he did not recognize, he looked for the past to win the interview, only to get a job offer.
Some time ago, he also did a public welfare activity for children with autism in Disney.
Image source: Kuaishou starcamp
Qi Qi's qualifications can only be regarded as a little higher in the middle among autistic children, but his sincerity, simplicity and kindness have taught me too many things.
Before me, I had no ambition and courage, doing a stable job, and it was he who drove me to take that step and do one unexpected thing after another in life.
Run institutions, become people's congress deputies, speak up for autistic children...
Because I know that if I don't do something, there really is no one in the world who can help him.
Later, when I saw him introduce himself to others, "My mother is xxx", I was very proud of my appearance, and I felt that I must set an example for him, and I had to do better.
The relationship between mother and child is really mutually successful.
I don't know how old I can be with him, but now I'm very satisfied, life is so long, I just want him to be happy.
As for the road ahead, I have worried about it and have been making plans.
I am worried about what he will do when I am old, how he will retire in the future, and how he will live, so I have been promoting the establishment of a social guardianship system in Shanghai.
This is for Qi Qi, but also for more autistic children and families like him.
Zhang Tao: I hope that he can have the life that you and I have.
Some time ago, the epidemic broke out in Xi'an, I happened to be in a foreign country, and my son was sealed in Xi'an alone.
He is now 25 years old, not yet able to live completely independently, eating at home and dealing with daily problems, needing help to take care of it, and has a big brother who lives with him.
At that time, my friends in Xi'an were trying to help him.
There are those who help him with the group dishes, and there are also WeChat interactions with him, so that he is not lonely at home, and the community cadres also ask me on WeChat every day how my children are and whether they need help.
With such care and support from them, I don't worry that he will not have a good life.
In the future, I'm not too worried about his life going to be bad.
I have always felt that for the autistic group, rather than dealing with personal property, it is more important to build a support system for community life, so that everyone can get out of the family, open themselves, and learn together with neighbors.
Over the years, I am a mother who has been learning to grow.
As a mother of an autistic child, I am more grateful for the experience of 25 years of accompanying my son.
I am grateful that he brought me a new perspective and made me experience more than just being a special mother.
It's also because of him that I have a special job, which is not an experience that everyone can have.
Of course, I am more grateful for every step he takes in his growth.
Yi Chi is moderate to severe autism, accompanied by intellectual disability, the doctor originally diagnosed that "in the future to take good care of him on the line", the implication is that there is no need to have other expectations.
But now, he has completely exceeded what we expected of him.
When my son was a year and a half old, I started taking him around, and when I was two and a half years old, we ran seven or eight hospitals.
After I was diagnosed in Beijing, I stayed there for half a year, touched the rehabilitation services and special education institutions in Beijing, and understood that this is not something that can be solved in a year or two, it is a lifelong problem.
When I returned to Xi'an, I went to contact local parents for mutual aid activities, went to the doctor together, and tried all the methods we could think of.
Later, I also invited teachers from the United Kingdom and Taiwan, and I also went to Hong Kong, Japan, and the United States to learn how parents in developed areas can take care of autistic children.
I made up my mind to do this well for my children.
Little by little, he learns and progresses, and now he can go out to work by himself, live his life at home, I have my own career, he is busy with his life, intersecting and relatively independent.
The days I've spent with him lately, I cherish.
He was innocent and authentic, and taught me how to love others unconditionally, to love others as myself.
I love my child and don't expect him to be an outstanding person in the future.
Unconditional love, is not need him to return anything to me, he can become an independent self, it is good.
Over the years, I have been working as a social advocacy service for children with autism, perhaps out of confidence in this job, and I am not worried about how I will live when I am gone.
The ideal life vision I can think of is the life that you and I have, and they can have these autistic children.
Finally, as a person who has come over, I would like to say to all the star mothers:
"It's normal for you to be unable to accept your own children at this stage, allow yourself to suffer and give yourself some time.
It's a long, long road, and you don't have to condemn yourself or give up anything for your children.
It's not a matter for mom alone, it's important that the family work together to draw a family blueprint. ”
See the power of mom
In the process of chatting with Zeze's mother, Chen Jie, and Zhang Tao, her sister cried and laughed several times.
Being a mother is not easy, as the mother of the star child, they experience a deeper mother-child connection along the way, and a fuller sour, sweet and bitter.
And what her sister saw more in them was bravery, openness and wisdom.
Instead of complaining, they are always grateful.
Grateful for special children, I have taught myself another lesson in motherhood.
Rather than envisioning the future, they want to live in the present and cherish the love and companionship of the present.
All the mother-child love that we take for granted, in the family of the star child, is magnified more intensely and more complexly.
Perhaps many people do not know that the rare children with autism in daily life are not a minority in the mainland.
According to the Blue Book IV of China's Autism Industry released in April this year, there are more than 10 million people with autism and more than 2 million children with autism in the mainland.
Behind this are thousands of families who move forward silently.
Autism, also known as autism, is mainly manifested as language communication disorders, social communication disorders, strange hobbies, and stereotyped behaviors.
So far, there is no specific treatment for autism, which can only be improved through special training and intervention.
In the long treatment process of autism, it is difficult to have a clear answer, and the star mothers can only grope and probe a little, and from time to time face the strange eyes of the outside world.
The psychological and physical pressures they have to endure can be imagined.
But as Zhang Tao said:
"I'm not great, I think everyone is great, everyone has different sufferings, depending on how you face it.
However, the ability of individuals is limited after all, and relying on individuals can easily force themselves into desperate situations. ”
So we all saw that Zeze's mother, Chen Jie and Zhang Tao, like Zhang Tao, all chose to open themselves.
They go out of the house to seek outside support, opening up more possibilities for motherhood.
The neighborhood mutual assistance community in Zhang Tao's vision is being built step by step, and now, more and more star mothers are active in the warm community of Kuaishou.
Someone like Zeze's mother uses short videos to record the daily life and progress of autistic children.
She said that she was posting a short video about her children on Kuaishou, just hoping that if people in the same city could brush themselves and see Zeze, even if they were willing to understand autistic children a little and give them a little tolerance, it would be enough.
Image source: Kuaishou 2760831489
In Kuaishou, we can see from the details that the star mothers are doing their best to create an inclusive environment for their children.
At the same time that every life can be seen, so many people give kindness and encouragement to Star Mother.
Image source: Kuaishou 1651017668
Star mothers learn from each other, even if the days are not so smooth, they do not hesitate to give each other some care.
Image source: Kuaishou 2760831489
In this warm community, everyone is a stranger they have never met, but also like old friends who can heal each other.
As if they care about the things around them, on a small screen, they touch a real and concrete person.
This kind of seeing and caring is already a kind of comfort for Xingma.
Perhaps, the stranger's screen full of praise and "refueling" can turn into the courage of the star mother to rebuild herself after being broken again and again.
Image source: Kuaishou number 1351680827
The network line blocks the flow of emotions between people and people, and the distance cannot separate the mothers from each other's comfort and support.
Of course, there are also star mothers like Chen Jie, who have grown into experts in the field of autism in the process of raising children.
She has been sending short videos and doing live broadcasts in Kuaishou, using professional knowledge to turn the growth of the ego into a force to promote society and help more people.
Image source: Kuaishou starcamp
In big cities, the children of the stars have more opportunities to intervene and more social services.
But never forget that in the distance, there are many star mothers who have more than enough hearts and insufficient strength.
They come with their children's questions, but it is difficult to get out of their hometown, and online psychological assistance and professional science popularization are the most convenient answers they want.
Star mothers from all over the world gathered in Kuaishou to understand, care for and love each other.
The flow of love and kindness becomes a real life-changing force.
Seeing the power of the star mother, allowing more people to hear the voice of the star family, and helping children with autism grow better, this is also what Kuaishou has been doing.
Kuaishou has launched a public welfare advocacy activity with one foundation on World Autism Awareness Day (April 2) for four consecutive years, hoping that the society will give more tolerance to autistic groups and help them create a barrier-free social environment.
We hope that the kindness and warmth of strangers can be seen and felt by more people.
We also believe that love will gather bigger and bigger in the process of being transmitted, and will continue to echo, bringing warmth, hope and growth to more people.
Please also remember that there is a group of such special star mothers in the world.
They may not be strong, but they can walk through thousands of mountains for their children; they may be vulnerable, but they are willing to take their children to push open new doors and try new directions again and again.
If you meet them on the road one day, please don't look at them differently.
Seeing the power of the mother and maintaining decent kindness is the smallest and most affectionate thing we can do for the star mother.
I wish every mom a happy Mother's Day, and I wish every mom a happy day.