What boys generally "lack" is always hurt by misunderstandings

Wen 丨 Fish Dad Image source: Meisu Gallery

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Last Friday night, the little fish was taught a lesson.

The reason is that the coat is ready for him, but after taking a shower, he still wears pajamas and starts watching movies.

Recently, the temperature is a little cooler, and a piece of clothing will be prone to cold.

Because he had a little cold and cough, seeing him like this, my mother was angry and anxious.

"When will you be able to do these things yourself!"

I said, "Say it well, don't kill him."

"But how many times have I said it, do you see he listened? His ears seemed to be blocked. "Mother Yu is already angry.

"Hurry up, put your clothes on! If you want to add or subtract your own clothes, you must also use snacks for these things in life. I hurried to him.

But after a while, his mother was talking about him again.

It turned out that the clothes were casually hung on the body, and the collar of the clothes was still tucked into the neck.

"Alas! How many times have I said this. Repeating the phrase again.

Indeed, I heard the cocoon come to my ears when I heard these words.

Every time I also tell him to be careful to dress neatly and decently, it is a courtesy.

But he still often wears reverse clothes, and he will not put his clothes in order.

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I found that my son really seemed to be "missing a string" in this regard.

So we often say that there are too many such things.

For example, when I take off my clothes before going to the shower, I often drop a sock on the floor.

Several times I heard the fish mother pick it up while saying that he was really careless.

I sometimes add oil and vinegar to the phrase "yes!" Why this problem just can't be changed. ”

The other day, seeing the messy living room, I really couldn't stand it.

So he arranged for the little fish to clean up the books and toys spread on the sofa and coffee table.

When he does, I can't help but complain to him, "Why can't you classify it well, always lose everything?" ”

I even wondered, are all boys like this?

It feels like I'm not doing this well myself.

I told the fish mother, we still have to talk well, don't worry.

"He's almost 10 years old, and if he doesn't develop good habits, he won't be able to change them in the future."

yes, mom's concerns are justified.

If parents do not teach him these habits of life, who will teach him.

It's true that we have such a purpose, but some methods are too rushed.

For example, tantrums and fierce children.

Feel like doing it, they'll listen.

But actually, the temper also faltered, listen to it at the time.

After a while, it may look the same again.

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So how to do it more effectively? I looked up a lot of information, read a lot of cases, and summed it up based on some of my own experience.

Start by clearly communicating your child's goals, and then reinforce the behavior with positive practice.

Don't always use a negative tone.

"Why are you so stupid, you always can't remember."

"Your head is full of mush, don't want to do anything!"

"Why can others do it well and you can't?"

"If you do this again, I'll beat you up a few more times."

……

After these words are spoken, they may have some deterrent effect on the child at that time.

They will keep your lesson as promised.

But my heart may not agree with your ideas.

Even with resentment, thinking that next time I will be like this.

Why do you say practice positively.

I think those good habits, or learning to do something, parents tell their children how to do it.

Complex words can be broken down into several steps for children to learn to do.

Give them some encouragement and affirmation when you do it.

When the child is done, let them do more.

Slowly, this behavior will develop.

This method can be used to develop many behavioral habits, such as children's brushing teeth and bathing.

There are also sports such as doing housework and learning to jump rope.

For example, if you ask your child to put on a garbage bag, they will put it in the trash can, which will definitely not work.

Instead of scolding him while going to clean up.

It is better to calmly call the child over and ask him to do it.

Tell him what is wrong and demonstrate it.

Two more exercises will do.

Otherwise, parents always scold and do it for their children.

But as a result, the child still won't do it.

What if you say something to your child and they don't listen?

In front of the child, tell him well, the effect will be much better.

For example, this time the little fish did not wear a coat.

It's because he is in a hurry to watch a movie, and he may forget about getting dressed.

And when his mother reminded him, he probably remembered.

Of course, I analyze this issue calmly and objectively now, and I will not have a temper.

In fact, I get angry when I see him messing up my bookcase again.

I have said many times why it is still like this, do not go and sort it out.

This may be where parenthood is hard.

We all understand the truth, but we still can't do it!

Let's take the second trick!

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That is to think from the child's point of view and try to accept his shortcomings.

No one is perfect, right?

I think most people would agree.

But we seem to expect our children to be "perfect."

Be polite, generous, diligent, care about people, take the initiative to do homework, pay attention to hygiene, love to read, not greedy for fun, friendship, neat handwriting, disciplined, obedient, assertive...

Have you ever seen such a "perfect child"?

Maybe other people's children are such "perfect" in your mind.

But their own children, the problem is one after another.

What to do?

Accept the child's inadequacy.

When blaming children.

Ever thought about the characteristics of his age.

For example, if you want to blame your 9-year-old child, you can ask yourself, what was I like when I was more than 9 years old?

You can also see if your own behavior habits are good examples for your children.

In fact, the little fish is very grinning, likes to arrange things at will, and does not like to tidy up habits, which is influenced by me.

I myself don't like to live too restrained and serious, but rather a casual lifestyle.

Books are also scattered around.

The remote control also always forgets to put it back in the box in which it is (for this, the fish mother has criticized me countless times.) ）

Sometimes I remember to put it back, but sometimes I forget it.

I don't know if it's a matter of habit, or if I can't remember it in this area?

But I still have a lot of advantages, you look at it more, don't always count me down in this matter, just remind me.

I told my wife this so that we could all be happy.

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So look at the child, too, come up with the third trick:

Remember to look at the advantages of the child, you will be in a much lighter mood.

For example, patiently look at the boy in front of me.

You will also find that he is really good!

Although I crawled and rolled on the playground every day, my legs turned black when I went home.

There were black sweat marks on the face and arms.

It's not a bad thing to be naughty.

For example, sometimes small objects at home fall under the sofa, and he will also lie on the floor very skillfully, no matter how difficult it is, he will take them out.

Asking him to cook and wash the dishes is also unambiguous and can be done seriously.

Speaking of tidying up the living room, if you are serious, you can also tidy it up.

What he needs is the opportunity to exercise to improve his abilities.

It will take some time to grow.

Even if we often talk about him and yell at him, he is still willing to tolerate us.

When walking, because he likes to throw the jump rope up, I sometimes accuse him angrily, afraid that he will hit a passerby.

Although I was screwing at the time and didn't want to pay attention to me.

But before long, it will stick to me again, happily talking about everything.

When I come home from school, I don't see my mother, and I look around.

Seeing my mother at home was relieved.

Raising children, you really can't be too hasty.

Especially if there are boys in the family, they are sometimes so ignorant, so fierce, and so lacking in strings.

But what they need is our patience to teach, not to blame and attack!

Parents who are too anxious cannot raise happy children.

Because of our impatience, we often lose our temper, and we are often yelled at, and how can children who have been wrapped in the anger of their parents for a long time be happy?

In the face of our boys, please be patient and guide them, talk well, tolerate them a little more, and the children will be happier and grow up better.