1
Separation anxiety in moms is the most overlooked
A few days ago, a group of photos and videos of infants and young children and their parents were separated from each other: the child cried heart-rending and was very pitiful.
(Image source: Internet)
The comments section are focused on:
The child is forced to separate from the mother at such a young age, what should the child do with separation anxiety? The children were crying...
Children who are sick need more care from their mothers, and children will miss their mothers.
Children are so small, what to do if there is a risk such as stampede and suffocation, parents are more worried.
After that, the official rumor was not the Shanghai "Jinshan Infant Isolation Point" please do not rumor, but we saw a fact from it: the child is separated from the mother, and the vast majority of people are concerned about what to do with the child? Few people worry about what to do with their mothers at this time.
It is true that children need more love and care than adult mothers, but mothers' separation anxieties should also be seen, at least by those around them, right?
@Sunny the mother of a 2-year-old baby
I am a fashion designer and need to be aware of fashion information at all times. In our industry, once it stops, it means it is outdated. Therefore, I did not stop working during pregnancy, after giving birth to the baby and non-stop into the work, colleagues are envious of me after giving birth to the baby with someone, the work did not fall at all...
But only I know: the baby obviously shows how sad I am when he is not close to me, every time he goes out to work, he stages a tug-of-war inside, and I am far from being separated from the baby as it seems.
@Shepherd The mother of a 3 year old baby
I am a full-time mother, the child just went to kindergarten, people around me said that I have a good life, marry a husband can make money, and now the child is also in school, what do you want to do, don't be too cool ~ (at the beginning I thought so)
But here's the thing: I'm about to collapse. After 3 years with my son, he suddenly had to leave me all day and all day, and the grinding little goblin under my eyes suddenly disappeared, I was a little uncomfortable, I didn't dare to tell anyone, for fear that others would say that I was pretentious.
@ Happy Orange Mom of a 6 year old
I'm a small owner who runs my own shop. Sounds good, boss oh ~
But this is actually a helpless move, as soon as I graduated from college, I married my husband, had a baby, and then took care of my daughter for 6 years. It wasn't until she was in elementary school that I was relieved to think about going out to work and not being too far behind with my husband (in fact, I already felt that I had less and less common topics with him).
But now the job prospects are really difficult to say, for people like me who have no work experience and are derailed from society, it is even more unfriendly, impatiently I borrowed money from my husband to open a shop to ensure that I would be able to succeed, after all, I was also a graduate of the School of Business Administration (my husband expressed doubts at the time and hurt my self-esteem).
Now, in order to fight for a breath, to prove myself, I am not busy day and night. But my daughter actually said to me one day: Mom, I feel that you don't love me anymore! All you see is work...
I didn't know how to answer for a moment, I couldn't tell my daughter the panic in my heart, it wasn't something she should have endured at her age, but I was afraid that if I continued like this, my daughter would be farther and farther away from me.
There are many similar mothers, they all have separation anxiety, but they can't cry like children and declare them like children.
In "Thirty Only", Gu Jia said: "The previous one I was dead, and the one who survived was the baby's mother." ”
Once a woman has given birth, it is as if she has lost herself. They will ignore themselves, endure pain, endure emotions, be sad, afraid, and entangled...
Separated from the child, it is not only the child who is anxious, but also the mother's anxiety is worth seeing and understanding.
2
Mom's anxiety is much more than that...
A passage that was very popular on the Internet before:
Parents need an obedient daughter, children need a happy mother, husbands need a sensible and good-tempered wife, in-laws need a filial daughter-in-law, society needs an independent woman, you let her live into a thousand horses, but who cares what she needs?
It seems that once you become a mother, you have to be a superman. In this invisible pressure, how can mothers not be anxious?
Work anxiety
In addition to the separation anxiety between the child and the child, mothers return to the workplace is difficult, even if they return to the workplace to adapt to the rhythm of work as soon as possible, deal with the broken colleague relationship, the heart is always full of a sense of crisis, resulting in deep workplace anxiety.
Intimate relationship anxiety
After having children, the time spent alone with her husband has been greatly reduced, even almost zero, and the feelings of the two people in the past were like glue, and now they have gradually evolved into quarrels for the sake of children.
Sleeping at night, the child staged "I don't sleep, I don't sleep, I don't sleep" in the middle!
It was hard to fall asleep, both of them were exhausted, what was the heart to do another action scene! Slowly, you will find that you and your husband seem to be drifting apart. As a result, there is a serious intimacy anxiety in the heart.
Image anxiety
Before giving birth, every time you look in the mirror you are willing to look at yourself twice, inner os: this figure, this face, tut, not worse than the star ~ hahahaha ... (You are your own source of happiness)
After giving birth, every time I see the mirror, I can't help it: I'm sorry, what a ghost! Inner os: I don't want to look at myself more, let alone others? Then it was shrouded in great image anxiety.
After becoming a mother, there are really too many unethical anxieties! It's like sand in your shoes, others can't see it, but they can torture themselves to the point where they can't walk.
3
Dispel the anxiety of the mother, and the father is the main force
The obvious truth everyone understands: separation anxiety with children, you find a way to take time to accompany children; workplace anxiety, you find ways to improve your work ability; image anxiety, you go to exercise to restore body, makeup, dressing...
But all this is inseparable from the support of Bao Dad, isn't it?
Qi Wei, a famous happiness goddess in the entertainment industry, not only educated her daughter to be cute and cute after getting married and having a baby, but also always in a state of online, not seeing the slightest fatigue, the reason is that she has a husband who pays attention to her and loves her at all times - Lee Seung-hyun.
Lee Seung-hyun's Weibo has been found by netizens: the rate of "Qi" is too high, sweet to everyone.
After Li Seung-hyun and Qi Wei got married, he not only settled in China, but also fully supported Qi Wei to engage in a career, taking on family trivial affairs with his own baby, preferring netizens to say that he was a "soft rice man" (in fact, he not only had talent and appearance, but also had a keen sense of business) and did not let Qi Brother suffer a little grievance.
Qi Wei once confessed that she can become better and better after she gets married, and her husband Lee Seung-hyun has paid a lot.
For us ordinary people, we don't ask dads to bring their babies full-time, but dads do at least the following to let moms know that you love and understand your wife.
Participate in your child's education and spend more time with your child
Dads need to teach their children: Moms and Dads, like Dad, will have their own things to do, Moms and Dads love babies, Moms want to create their own value, we should all support and cheer for Mom!
Let the child gradually understand the mother, reduce the separation anxiety that the mother will have because she is separated from the child and is afraid that the child will be estranged from herself.
Take on more housework
Dads take on more housework, reduce the time and energy spent by moms for housework, and mothers have more time to manage themselves and make themselves beautiful.
(Image source: Figureworm Creative)
And the father takes on more housework, which will also let the child see the sense of responsibility of the father, which is more conducive to the growth and development of the child
Communicate more before bedtime
After the child falls asleep, the husband and wife talk about what happened in their respective days and understand each other's status and emotions in time.
Husbands should care more about their wives, and then have some sweet words at the right time, such as: you are now more and more feminine, I like my wife no matter what she is, I love you and so on. Let the wife feel loved and respected, and there is no anxiety
Well-off jun bar boo
Mother's anxiety, in fact, as long as the husband is considerate, it can be alleviated. I hope that the anxiety of mothers can be seen and understood by the people around them, and they will be patiently cared for and accompanied.
I also hope that mothers will boldly speak out their anxiety, do not be afraid of other people's eyes, even if they are not understood, at least vented, the mood can be better, right?
The comment area boldly says what emotions you have been ignored after becoming a mother, which makes you feel anxious, and Xiaokangjun is willing to be your loyal audience.
Today's content is here, let's not forget to "share", "like" and "watch", add a chicken leg to Xiaokangjun
▼