In January last year, the state officially set up a 30-day divorce cooling-off period, so that those couples who go to the Civil Affairs Bureau for divorce procedures, after 30 days of calm, if they still plan to divorce, then continue to apply for divorce certificates, if they do not want to divorce, they can also withdraw their claims at any time.
Why set up a 30-day cooling-off period for divorce? Because many people divorce, they think that they do not love, and they go to the Civil Affairs Bureau on a whim, but the basis of marriage is never love, but whether two people are suitable.
I still learned about the existence of the cooling off period of divorce through friends, friends are 34 years old, married to their husbands for 4 years, in February this year they had a fight, friends came out to drink in the middle of the night, she cried and cried and told me that two people have no love, she wants to divorce, I advised her, she said that there is no need to exist in marriage that loses love, separation is the best choice.
After more than a month, my friend told me that she and her husband had calmed down for a month and thought it would be good to live like this.
Friends finally woke up, even after the divorce, she found other men to form a family, a few years later, love will disappear, there will be chicken feathers everywhere, there will be contradictions for a little thing, there is no lifelong vigorous love, many people have been married for many years, love has disappeared, maintaining marriage, often long-term run-in "mutual suitability".
Love is often one-sided, because at a certain point, it likes someone, which is the impulse unique to love, but marriage is comprehensive.
Think about it carefully, is it at a certain moment, specially moved by a person, thinking that the other party is beautiful in the world, but after a long time together, I found that the two people actually have many different places, hobbies, family conditions, ideological concepts, etc., and finally let this relationship end without a disease.
If you ask couples who have been married for ten years and decades, is it really because of eternal love? Definitely not, but because two people have been inseparable from each other, these years of getting along gradually run-in, family, children have become inseparable in their lives, what reason do they have to divorce?
Many people always fall into a misunderstanding, thinking that marriage is the destination of love, two people because of love, they want to get married, let this love continue to maintain, but most people have no way to love for a lifetime, most people have no way to enter the palace of marriage with the person who once loved specially, and finally choose to accompany a lifetime, often the person who is suitable for themselves.
Franklin once said, "Eyes should be round before marriage, and eyes should be half open after marriage." ”
What does that mean? That is, before a person gets married, he should polish his eyes, carefully distinguish whether the other party is really suitable for his own person, do not be blinded by love, hurry to get married, and wait until after marriage to find that each other is not suitable, then it is too late.
But after marriage, people should learn to compromise, do not ask each other to be perfect, everyone will have shortcomings and advantages, love often originates from the appreciation of the advantages of a certain person, but after marriage, the freshness gradually disappears, it will gradually ignore each other's advantages, and amplify the shortcomings of the other party, resulting in an increase in marital contradictions. Therefore, people should be half-open after marriage.
Of course, I am not telling everyone not to divorce, but to calm down and think carefully about whether there is a need for divorce, especially many young people, rushing to get married, rushing to divorce, but do not understand that the basis of marriage is not love, but appropriate.
The 30-day divorce cooling-off period officially established in January this year is to let those couples who plan to divorce calm down for a period of time, strip the factor of love from marriage, and carefully consider whether marriage without love can continue to be maintained.
In my opinion, there is no long-term love, but there is a lifetime of mutual support, perhaps after two people get married, the support between each other, the tacit understanding of getting along for a long time, although it is not as vigorous as love, but it is a good time.
The most beautiful marriage is that after recognizing that the basis of marriage is not love but the cruel reality of suitability, you can still love marriage and strive to run it.