01
Everyone's position is different, the ideas will be different, and the approach will naturally be different. In a family, the child is the future of the family, and the family should put the interests of the child first in the general direction, which is also thinking about the future.
While considering children, it is natural to take into account the elderly, and children support their parents, which is an obligation under the law. In a family of three generations of grandchildren, if the interests of the elderly and the interests of the children conflict, it will be difficult for a small couple who are both parents and children to stand in the middle position.
When encountering this situation, the small couple should try to find a balance, and it is best to take into account both the elderly and the children. As an old man, you should think more about your children, you can't be too selfish, and the old people can't rely on the old and sell the old. If the elderly do not think about their children and only think about their own needs, the family will certainly not be harmonious.
02
In the case of family conditions are not rich, the mother-in-law wants to build a house in the hometown, the daughter-in-law wants to buy a school district house in the city, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law do not give in to each other. The son chose to stand on the side of his mother and decided to go back to his hometown to build a house, and his wife was so angry that he filed for divorce.
This is what happened to Ye Xiaohan, and now Ye Xiaohan and her husband have divorced, and she lives alone with her children. Let's listen to what Ye Xiaohan has experienced.
Self-narrator: Ye Xiaohan
Age: 38 years old
Occupation: White-collar worker of foreign company
City: Langfang
03
My husband came to the city to work from out of town, and once when I went to take the bus, I met him by chance. At that time, I came to menstruation, my body was very uncomfortable, and I stood on the bus all the time. My husband enthusiastically gave me a seat, and then we got off at the same stop.
After getting off the bus, we happened to be on the same road again, so we walked together for a while. We chatted as we walked, talked speculatively, and added friends to each other when we separated. After that, we often chatted online, and when we talked, we sparked love, so we fell in love.
After two years in love, the two of us decided we were getting married. My husband's family conditions were not very good, and there was no money to support us to buy a marriage house, so my parents gave me a house for me to marry. After marriage, our husband and wife lived in this dowry room, and my in-laws lived in their hometown.
The next year, I gave birth to a son, and my mother-in-law came to serve me in confinement. She thinks my husband and I are very capable people and think that we make a lot of money, so she is particularly proud. She said that in the village, she and the old man felt particularly face-saving, because their son and daughter-in-law had settled in the city.
On the eve of the end of my maternity leave, my father-in-law suddenly fell ill, and my mother-in-law could not help us with the child, so she had to go back to her hometown to take care of my father-in-law. I asked my mom to help us with the baby, and my mom was helping my brother with the kids, and we sent the kids every morning and picked them up again in the evening.
04
When my child was in third grade, my friend's relatives wanted to sell a school district house. Because their children graduated from junior high school and the mission of the school district house had been completed, they wanted to sell the house cheaper and buy a new house for their long time.
Many of my colleagues and friends around me have bought school district houses for their children and want their children to attend a better school. When my son was in kindergarten and elementary school, neither of us chose a school, and when I went to junior high school, I would like to choose a school for him, so that he will not complain that we do not attach importance to his studies in the future.
I told my husband about this idea, and then said that the house was very cost-effective, and my husband agreed. We had the money on hand and could make a down payment, so we decided to take out a loan to buy a school district house. But just when we were going to buy a house, my mother-in-law learned of this matter and resolutely disagreed, and they asked us to go back to our hometown to build a house.
The mother-in-law said that the old house was very dilapidated and had to be rebuilt. The father-in-law is not in good health, he is already a person who does not know tomorrow today, and he must be allowed to live in a new house before he can leave without regrets.
The house where the in-laws live is indeed quite shabby on the outside, but the inside of the house is still very good, because we just renovated it for them two years ago. The house has a kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, air conditioner, refrigerator, flush toilet, etc., and it is good for two elderly people to live in it.
05
Because my in-laws insisted that we go back to build a house, my husband didn't want to buy a school district house, and he had to take all the money in his hand to build a house. I said that we would not go back to his hometown to live, and when the father-in-law left, the mother-in-law would definitely come to live with us, so why should we invest in our hometown?
My husband told my mother-in-law what I said, and my mother-in-law said that we would not go back to live and would rebuild the house. Because if the house is not rebuilt, when she and her father-in-law die, their family will be destroyed in the village. Their family couldn't be extinct, so we had to go back and build a house, and we had to build a three-story cottage.
Our husband and wife only have so much money in hand, and if we buy a school district house, we can't build a house; if we build a house, we can't buy a school district house. Between building a house and buying a school district house, of course, I chose to buy a school district house, I have to think about the future of my children, and we certainly don't go back to my hometown to live.
But the in-laws insisted that the husband go back to build a house, and the father-in-law still forced him to die, saying that if we did not go back to build a house, he would not take medicine, and if he did not take medicine, he would die immediately. My mother-in-law called my husband several times a day, constantly brainwashing her son, soft and hard.
My husband chose to listen to my mother-in-law, so he ignored my objections and insisted on going back to his hometown to build a house. I was angry, I didn't want the living money in my hand to go to his hometown to build a house and become dead money. His hometown is very remote, after building a house, he can't even rent it, and the money is like throwing it away.
06
The couple quarreled, because my husband insisted on going back to his hometown to build a house, and I said that half of the family's savings belonged to me, and he couldn't take this half. The other half belonged to him, and he wanted to go back to his hometown to build a house, so he could only use the half of the money.
You can use that half of the money to build a house, but also decoration, etc., how can it be enough? My husband insisted on taking all the money to build a house, and I didn't agree, and the couple quarreled every day. Later, I proposed a divorce, and my husband was very tough, saying: "Leave, don't take divorce to scare people, I am not scared!" ”
So, the two of us went to divorce, and there was no cooling-off period for divorce at that time, so the divorce procedures were completed quickly. But after completing the formalities, the husband seemed to wake up like a dream and regretted it. The house we lived in was my dowry, and I divorced him, and he had to roll up and leave.
We had half of our savings, the child followed me, and he had to pay child support in that half. So he didn't say that he would go back to his hometown to build a house, and he wouldn't even have a place to live in front of him. A week after the divorce, my husband sent me a message that he wanted to remarry me, saying that he had divorced on impulse.
But I didn't get divorced on impulse, he always ignored my feelings and listened to his parents, and I was very cold. Now he wants to remarry, I refused, I said that he can now go back to his hometown to build a house, can enjoy filial piety, no one stopped him, he did not say a word.
epilogue:
The little couple only has some money in hand, and they can't take care of the elderly if they take care of the children, and they can't take care of the children if they take care of the elderly. In this case, since the old man has a house to live in, and he lives very well, he should not go back to his hometown to build a house for vanity rather than for his son.
Sons and daughters-in-law have their own plans, and daughters-in-law are thinking about the future of their children and want to provide good educational conditions for their children. However, because of the in-laws' requirements, the son could only change his mind and decided to go back to his hometown to build a small villa for his parents, which resulted in the divorce of the husband and wife.
In the end, the son not only failed to fulfill his parents' wishes, but also lost his good marriage. In fact, a person's filial piety to his parents is not only in terms of material life, he runs his marriage and family well, which is also filial piety to his parents, do not let his parents not worry and worry about themselves.
Ye Xiaohan's ex-husband wanted to better filial piety to his parents, but in the end it backfired, and when he understood it, he wanted to remarry his ex-wife, but his ex-wife refused. Therefore, it is best for men to have a heart with their wives and raise children together, for parents do need filial piety and take care of them, but they must do what they can.
Author: A creator in the field of emotions, focusing on various issues in the field of emotions, welcome to pay attention. Life has warmth because of love and love, let us grow in love, and spend every day in true feelings.