In life, nothing and nothing is perfect. Most likely, there is a sacrifice to get.
Happiness is a self-perceived thing, not listening to what others say. Learning to accept some regrets in life is not to set limits on your own life.
Happiness is not about the days themselves, but about how you see the life in front of you.
What is indispensable to entering a marriage is money and love, love is difficult to quantify, but money can.
Because the life of ordinary people must revolve around chai rice oil and salt, buying vegetables and cooking, water and electricity, tuition and mortgage...
Therefore, after two people in a marriage form a family, how to distribute money, how to spend it, and whose hands it holds are the top priorities of life.
I received a consultation from a female reader that after getting married, every time she talked about the problem of giving her money for safekeeping, her husband would retreat and push back. So she can't understand, since you don't trust me, why do you want to marry me?
Indeed, if you want to live a life, you have to talk about money. And couples must also learn to talk about money. This is not calculated and cheesy, but a reality that is clearly laid out in front of us.
But why, even after marriage, many men are not willing to give financial power to their wives?
When I was at the company, I overheard a conversation between two male colleagues, and I thought that maybe I could simply answer the above question.
It is not convenient to say the name here, so use letters instead. A asks B for a cigarette, saying that his wife is strict and that he cannot achieve cigarette freedom.
B said, then you have to find a way, I will get the financial power back from my wife. She made a financial investment, ah, the money did not earn but lost. Not to mention the loss of money, I also bought a bag of several thousand yuan, saying that I was depressed and had to be relieved.
This conversation is not much content, but the amount of information is very large.
First of all, it can be determined that the financial power of the A family is in the hands of his wife, so it is inconvenient for him to spend money and does not have the right to dispose of himself.
Second, it can be determined that B's financial power was obtained from his wife in the near future. The reason is that he is worried that his wife is not good at financial management and spends money at will.
For most men, they are inherently reluctant to hand over financial power to their wives. Money is the economic lifeblood of a family, perhaps tacky, but it is a must for a person to walk in society.
But what many women don't understand is that since they have all become a family, why do you still have to guard against me?
But the inner words of these two married men have awakened us, and men are unwilling to give money to their wives, and they cannot escape these four real psychology.
Too much focus on money
Some people are naturally more cautious and have difficulty trusting others. A couple who want to achieve absolute sharing may seem simple, but it is actually difficult.
First of all, there must be deep feelings and absolute trust, but many men attach too much importance to money, consider their own interests and losses, and are deeply afraid that their wives will take advantage of them.
Sometimes it's not that he doesn't love, it's just that he is obsessed with the sense of solidity of holding the money in his hand. In the face of money, not only guarding against others, but also being very critical of yourself.
In terms of ranking and position in marriage, money should be behind love. For couples, poverty is not the most terrible, the most terrible thing is that two people guard against each other and can never have one heart.
Easy to use on your own
It is understandable to think about it in another position, we all say that the full-time housewife has a hard time with her hands up, and many men have the same psychology when they ask their wives for money.
This taste is passive and uncomfortable. Money is always in your own hands, and it is the most convenient to use. And many men hate themselves and are labeled by others as strict wives.
When a man is communicating, he has no money to do the bottom line, and he must cower and shrink, and the atmosphere must be awkward.
They don't want to be limited and bound in money, and they don't want to get their wives' consent when they need to spend money.
The wife is not good at managing money
Men do have to be more rational than women, and they prefer the feeling that things are under their control.
Therefore, some men will dislike their wives who are not good at financial management, or do not plan their lives, and are accustomed to extravagance and waste. These are also the reasons for their reluctance to decentralize.
And some women are really indisputable, not only have no plan for their own lives, but also carry the couple's common property to their mother's house without restriction.
We don't mean to ignore our parents after marriage, but to have a degree in everything. First of all, we must ensure the normal operation of our own small home, and secondly, we must obtain the consent of the other half.
Treat your wife as an outsider
Many people will idealize marriage, full of expectations and yearning. But marriage is indeed the most real kind of life in the world, and it is only in intimate relationships that humanity is most exposed.
Some men are ready for divorce before they are married, and all their principles are to maximize their interests when that day comes.
In the eyes of such people, parents, siblings are the family, they can't figure out who they are living with, and they always exclude their wives.
If a man in a marriage is always wary of his wife and always puts his own interests first, the wife will definitely feel that it is difficult to go to the end.
In summary, four reasons why men do not want to hand over financial power are welcome to add.
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The world is so big, thank you, you can see me!
[Wen | Wei Wei'an: the pen has temperature, for the voice of emotion, an atypical writer who loves words, invites you to perceive life together]