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The writer Balzac once said:
The happiness of marriage is not entirely based on prominent status and property, but on mutual respect.
Respect is the identity between people, the equality between hearts and minds.
Mutual respect is the foundation of all relationships, including marital relations. All good marriages are built on equality and respect.
Marriages that lack equality and respect have neither happiness nor longevity to aspire to.
The writer Tolstoy once said:
We love each other as equals because we know each other and respect each other.
Love is equal respect. In marriage, not touching each other's bottom lines and principles is the most basic respect.
01. The phoenix man took the initiative to mention the breakup
Jiang Wang (pseudonym), 29 years old this year, just ignored the opposition of his parents and took the initiative to break up with his wife, ending the marriage for less than half a year.
The reason for ending the marriage was that his wife, Cai Wen (pseudonym), lacked enough respect for his parents and touched his bottom line and principles.
Jiang Wang, a phoenix man from a small place, came to work in cai wen's city 5 years ago under the recommendation of his mentor.
He is a professional technician who has obtained a master's degree and is in line with the local talent introduction program, so his job is well paid.
Jiang Wang met Cai Wen at a colleague's birthday party.
Cai Wen is an only child in the city, from a well-off family, and like many girls around her, she grew up spoiled by her parents.
Her parents protected her very well, did not let her go to college far away, did not require her to work hard in her career, the salary was not high, and it did not matter, leisure and stability were the most important. Her parents only want her to have a smooth life.
Moreover, her parents' way of educating her is "rich", instilling consumerism in her, letting her consume expensive things, clothes, bags, cosmetics, etc., all brand-name.
Her parents felt that only in this way would she not be deceived by men.
Cai Wen, who grew up under this kind of family education, is like Cheng Kaiyan in "Big Rivers and Rivers 2", lacking the ability to think independently, having no goals in life, and being rich is safe.
02. Marriages with wrong doors
When Jiang Wang and she first met, it was she who took the initiative to show kindness. Although Jiang Wang has a good feeling for her, he knows very well in his heart that they belong to different worlds.
Jiang Wang, a master's degree in Tangtang 985, has received nearly 20 years of cultural education, and knows that the impact of the growth environment on a person is deeply rooted.
Two people who are not right at the door, regardless of living habits, ways of thinking, and three views of personality, will have great differences, and if they reluctantly come together, it is difficult to have a happy ending.
Coupled with the poverty of the original family, Jiang Wang has a strong sense of self-confidence and insecurity. Therefore, Jiang Wang was very alert to keep his distance from her.
However, Cai Wen was paranoid and willful, and the thing she decided was not to hit the south wall and not turn back. The more Jiang Wang dodged, the more she chased after it.
During this period, Cai Wen's parents learned of Jiang Wang's existence and repeatedly came forward to obstruct it. However, all this did not make Cai Wen retreat.
Jiang Wang was only a little moved at this time. Because in all fairness, he can't be like Cai Wen, tearing up with his parents for the so-called love, or even breaking up.
Later, Cai Wen's parents had no choice but to compromise. Jiang Wang also put down his baggage and established a relationship with Cai Wen.
After a year of dating, marriage was on the agenda.
Jiang Wang's self-esteem is strong, unwilling to use the woman's house as a marriage house, it just so happens that the unit has a housing subsidy, so he is ready to use the provident fund loan to buy a house.
However, Cai Wen took a fancy to a hardcover house, with a down payment of 800,000 yuan, and Jiang Wang's money was simply not enough.
After consultation, the two first went to get a marriage license, and then Cai Wen's parents took out a half down payment of 400,000 yuan, and the house was registered in the names of the two people.
03. You lack respect for my parents
After moving into the new house to live together, Jiang Wang gradually felt the differences between the two in all aspects, fortunately, although Cai Wen was arrogant and willful, she had deep feelings for him.
Moreover, his personality has always been more reclusive. Therefore, the two people's little days are still quite warm. The only thing that made him a little uncomfortable was the attitude of Cai Wen's parents towards him.
More than twenty years ago, Cai Wen's parents seized the opportunity and accumulated a certain amount of wealth, which made them often show a sense of superiority in front of Jiang Wang.
They don't like Jiang Wang, and they have a lot of prejudices against phoenix men, so in their daily gossip, they always like to mix some thorns, so that Jiang Wang can't feel a trace of respect.
Cai Wen's parents did not respect him, and he could barely bear it.
However, he could not stand it no matter what, and the disrespect of Cai Wen's family to his parents, especially the inability to tolerate Cai Wen's neglect of his parents.
Jiang Hope can have today, and his parents have worked hard to cultivate, which is closely related. Therefore, his feelings with his parents are very deep, and parents are his bottom line.
Half a year after marriage, the mother was unwell, the father took her over to check the body, Jiang Wang just happened to be catching a project, for a while he could not leave, so he let Cai Wen go to the station to pick up her parents.
Who knows, after Cai Wen picked up her parents, she did not take them home, but directly arranged for them to stay in a hotel.
When Jiang Wang rushed home, he didn't know that Cai Wen, who said that the arrangement was proper, hated his parents' rustic atmosphere, and casually threw them to the hotel and left.
Their parents have been working in the family farm for a long time, and they have hardly been far away, they will not use the key card, and they are worried about the loss of things, and they are afraid of affecting Jiang Wang's work, so they did not call him.
It was more than 8 o'clock in the evening, and my parents had been riding for 7 hours, and they were hungry and drinking boiling water and filling their hunger with steamed buns...
Jiang Wang felt angry and humiliated.
When he took his parents to dinner, Cai Wen called him and said that he was busy with work these days and did not have time to accompany his parents to the hospital for physical examination...
In the face of Cai Wen's clumsy lies, he just sneered and asked, the family has prepared a room and bedding, why not take your parents home?
Cai Wen did not think so, saying that the two had not yet held a wedding, the house was a new house, and no one else could live...
04. Respect is the foundation of all good marriages
Jiang Wang didn't want to say much, just told Cai Wen that he would take his parents home. Cai Wen has always been willful, and she is also accustomed to Jiang Wang's usual low posture, but she did not expect that For the sake of her parents, Jiang Wang was so tough.
During the dispute, Cai Wen's mouth did not choose words, which made Jiang Wang even more angry, and finally he took the initiative to break up, saying: "Disrespecting my parents is disrespecting me, please leave my house, 400,000 down payment to pay you back in batches ..."
Jiang Wang is completely cold, he is currently involved in the management of a research and development group in the company, with an annual salary of more than 200,000 yuan, and will be higher in the future. Although Cai Wen's job is stable and decent, her annual salary is less than 100,000, and she has no development potential at all.
However, Cai Wen's family always looked down on him.
After Jiang Wang drove Cai Wen back to her mother's house, he seriously thought about it for one night and decided to end the marriage.
The door is not right, the cognition is asymmetrical, the values are different, and no matter how much truth is said, the other party cannot understand.
He did not want to be subject to others for the rest of his life, not only did he live in inferiority and cowardice, but even his parents would lose their dignity.
Even if Cai Wen gave in this time and ostensibly accepted her parents, but the marriage is a long, future life, how to get along with each other?
Leaving aside his parents, even when he was with the Cai Wen family, the feeling of inferiority in his heart and self-inflicted often made him feel like a man on his back, like a fish in his throat.
At his insistence, the marriage of the two came to an end.
There is a saying on the Internet that says:
In this world, everyone's experience and position are different, and there is no need to seek common ground, but to respect each other.
The same is true for couples getting along. Marriage is a kind of integration, and we must learn to accept it, and we must learn to respect it. Respect is the foundation of all good marriages.
Not touching each other's bottom lines and principles is the most basic respect in marriage.
Well, today is here, LeLe hopes that each issue of the story can bring friends a little emotional thinking, like Lele please pay attention to me, to the article like collection recommended Oh, thank you we will see you in the next issue ~