The main problems in Chinese families are the lack of quality education resources in China and the contradiction between parents who want their children to get quality education.
There is almost no solution to this problem.
First, the lack of high-quality educational resources exists in kindergartens, primary schools, junior high schools, high schools, or any remote county.
Second, although the birth rate has not risen but has fallen in recent years, to a certain extent, everyone can go to college if they want to go to college, but this still does not alleviate the anxiety of parents.
Because what parents want is not for their children to go to college, but whether their children can enter the high-quality education circle of Peking University Tsinghua.
Many parents invisibly equate going to a good university with their children's futures. At the same time, few parents are willing to admit that their children are ordinary people.
If parents do not recognize this fact, put an ordinary child in the top 5%-10% of the top competition, the child's ability is not enough, teachers and parents are forcing him, under unbearable pressure, there must be psychological problems, so now many children are anxious and depressed.
So, in that sense, it's really important that we put forward an expectation for our children.
This is: the all-round development of morality, intellect, body and beauty is the whole content of raising a child.
How to cultivate morality, intelligence, physical fitness and beauty?
The most important thing is to cultivate children's four major abilities: the first is called personality ability, the second moral ability, the third learning ability, and the fourth is group ability.
The cultivation of these four abilities lays a fertile soil for children's lifelong development.
Plant a tree in fertile soil, as long as he grows, he will not have to worry about how it grows, because he will continue to absorb nutrients from the earth.
Personality abilities
A person first cultivates his positive and optimistic personality, I think he has room to survive.
This positive optimism contains an attitude towards life in the face of setbacks and failures.
Unfortunately, our frustrated education is so poor that many times we let our children be frustrated for life.
For example, when the child's academic performance is poor, it is not to help the child rationally, but to deny the child.
If a child scores 40 points, the teacher gets angry and the parent beats the child. Be able to sit down with your child, discuss the issue seriously, and encourage your child's parents not to be numerous.
What is frustration education? Setback education is the courage to continue to move forward when a child fails.
If the child scores 40, the first thing we have to do is tell him that 40 is good, why? 40% of it has been done right.
What we're going to do next is to analyze what the 60 points lost were for. Then put forward the child's requirements for progress, such as whether he can get a score of 60 next time.
In this process, parents should provide selfless help, let the child feel that 60 points is not a difficult score, so that he is willing to fight for it, and next time he may get 60 points, or even 75 points.
The progress of children often requires the encouragement and guidance of parents.
When the child faces difficulties and setbacks, we use the wrong method, which will only bring greater blows and frustration to the child, so that he will give up on himself.
The family is a safe harbor for children, no matter what your children are, you must first accept the current situation of your children.
And let the child know that even if he encounters all the difficulties in the world, when he returns home, his parents can still receive him rationally and warmly.
However, in reality, what we parents often do is to push our children to the opposite side of ourselves.
Constantly comparing with other people's children, constantly accusing, or making unreliable demands, these will make children feel that they are estranged from their parents, will distrust their parents, and over time, produce great rebellion, and even run away from home and die.
Parents, only after giving the child enough rational protection, then make demands with the child.
Moral character ability
Moral ability is a child's ability to deal with people in society.
More is cultivated in the middle of the family, and the parents' every move directly lays the height of the child.
A calculating, short-sighted, complaining, dark-hearted parent, want to cultivate a bright, honest, atmospheric child, the possibility is very small.
Because, moral ability, from the parents of the role model and demonstration.
My father was a carpenter, and he built a girder, and within a radius of eighteen miles, he had to build a girder.
He had a rule that if the family was more well-off, they would be paid, and if the family was more difficult, they would leave after a bowl of wine.
This boldness is directly confirmed to me.
The influence of your parents brings about the existence of your basic character and character, which is particularly important.
Moral ability is ultimately a word that allows your child to be accepted by all the people around him and think of him as a good person.
Therefore, our parenting of children's behavior should be set up according to the social acceptance of this child's behavior.
When I brought my two children, there was a prerequisite, the grades can be bad, and the most important thing is to be accepted by the friends around me, which is particularly important.
The ability to continuously learn
When I was a child, I had a habit of taking two ten-day vacations a year specifically to investigate the world.
I'll make a plan with my kids, and this year we'll go and look at what places, like Greek culture.
I will conduct research a month in advance and set a route to discuss with my child. Every time we go to a place, we talk to our children about what stories are happening in this place.
Why? Let the child have a deeper understanding of the whole world, so that he has feelings for the world.
When my daughter was 5 years old, we sat on the beach and waited for the moon to rise from the sea, slowly rising, slowly getting smaller. I recited "Spring River Flower Moon Night" to my daughter on the side, reciting a sentence and saying one sentence, and my daughter was fascinated.
This is to cultivate children's deeper understanding of the beauty of nature, which is something that parents cannot do and no one else can do.
It's not at all strange for them to be curious about the world, so now I see two kids holding history books and reading them, because that's where I raised them.
When I went to Israel, I found that in front of any family pushing the door in front of it was a wall of stoves, and this wall of stoves was a wall of books, and so was every household. This is why israel reads an average of 65 books per person per year.
I often say that if you fall in love with reading all your life, you can live a relatively confident and good life even if you don't go to any university.
Every time I go out, there must be two or three books in the box, and when the kids see me packing books, they will definitely bring two.
On the plane, on the train, in the hotel, by the pool, I would pull out the book and look at it, and when the two kids saw me reading, they would also take the book out and read it.
Be sure to make your child fall in love with reading.
In addition, let the child learn to do it, and parents should also accompany him from an early age.
Learning is not just an exam, but an in-depth study, and the impact of this process on children is important.
Group capacity
Man is an animal living in society, and for us, the ability to cultivate children to deal with groups is always greater than how good his test scores are.
To cultivate children's group ability is to cultivate children's ability to share, to help others, and to be good at cooperation.
I teach my children from an early age that after you are good to others, you will have more friends around you, and you will definitely be good to you.
I myself have developed a habit since I was a child, that is, to be kind to others.
In the four years of college, I swept the floor, fetched water, and washed the clothes of my dormitory classmates, I did a lot, but did I lose money, no loss.
Ten years after graduating from college, I started a business, and I told my classmates in the same dormitory that they were willing to come out.
The reason is very simple: Yu Minhong is a good person, a person who will not take advantage of others, if successful, we will be able to share success, if failure, that is, everyone fails together, it is okay.
Finally, there is the movie "Chinese Partner", which everyone knows. It's such a social ability that I think is the most important.
Therefore, if you add good personality ability and moral ability, there is no doubt that you are a person who is accepted by society.
Becoming a person who is accepted by society and learned by everyone is more important than a hundred Peking University.
New Oriental family education, passing on the concept of professional family education, providing family education information at home and abroad, sharing absorbable and operable methods and suggestions. Make continuous learning a habit for families.
I believe that every parent is looking forward to jackie chan and hoping for a woman to become a phoenix!
Take the words of the world-famous physicist Yang Zhenning: If you want your child to learn mathematics well, the first step is to first understand the basic concepts of mathematics; secondly, the origin of its basic concepts, which requires parents to accompany their children to read more mathematical books and play some mathematical games in the process of tutoring their children's mathematical problems.
However, climbing the pinnacle of mathematics is not an easy task. Yang Zhenning, a world-famous physicist, said: "I also think mathematics is very boring, but when I saw Liu Xuanyu's math book, I was very surprised. Can you still learn math like this? ”
Yang Zhenning was the greatest physicist after Newton and Einstein. The math teacher he can recognize, Liu Xuanyu, can't be wrong.
Who is Liu Xuanyu?
Compared with mathematicians such as Hua Luogeng and Chen Jingrun, Liu Xuanyu is not well-known, because his energy is mainly in mathematics teaching and the preparation of primary and secondary school textbooks.
Liu Xuanyu wrote many mathematical books in his lifetime, the most famous of which are these three:
The first book is "Mr. Ma Talks About Mathematics", which mainly talks about how to use the graphical method to solve some of the four problems of arithmetic
The second book is "Mathematical Fun", which mainly talks about the mathematical problems encountered in daily life, we say that all things are mathematics, and learning mathematics through all things is the fastest.
The third book is The Garden of Mathematics, which is a bit more difficult, and it talks about the concepts of functions, continuums, induced functions, differentiation, integrals, and sums, as well as the basic principles of their operations. Although it is a little deep, the method of explanation is very good, and the sixth grade baby can still understand part of the content.
Colleagues show this book to children, usually children also tutor mathematics, sometimes feel that cram school is a bit boring. But when the child read this book, he found it very interesting, and he could also use what he learned in the cram school.
I didn't feel tired after watching it for an hour! Parents: It's a rare good book!
For this set of classic mathematical science books compiled by Mr. Liu Xuanyu, parents also gave a high evaluation, parents said that "this series of books in general has a kind of follow-through temptation, from shallow to deep feeling, the language is particularly convincing"
It can be said that after reading this set of books, there is no need to worry about mathematics in elementary and junior high schools.
This set of classic mathematics series, the biggest benefit is to stimulate students' hidden enthusiasm and desire to learn, so that students love to learn mathematics, many parents said that "Mathematics Three Books" is a rare good book, can not be missed!