Educating children is a very "difficult" thing, from falling to the ground to being able to enter the society alone, during which parents need to help children cultivate their sound personality and shape their own personality. Many parents believe that their children's growth does not need too much interference, just let them develop freely, in fact, this educational view is very wrong. Children are like saplings, in the process of growing, there will inevitably be a few disobedient branches, if they are allowed to grow, they may eventually be absorbed by these branches, and the center of gravity will shift to this.
Two netizens posted about the troubles they encountered when educating their children of different ages:
Netizen Xiaonan said, "Her child is 8 years old this year, in the second grade of primary school, but homework has really become a problem that makes her very headache, from one year old children do not like to write homework, every day I want to find children to play together, on the way home from school to see familiar classmates also have to catch up with people to fight with people for half a day, but a homework is like a deflated leather ball, soft pedal on the stool, the heart does not know where to fly, I and his father are fighting and scolding, but it is useless, I was angry when I saw him sitting listless at his desk, and I really didn't know what to do! ”
Netizens "one day" said, "I have a 16-year-old daughter, the original daughter is well-behaved and obedient, but slowly became very rebellious, before she bought her clothes she will wear, but now she is picky, all kinds of dislike is not good." For this reason, I doubted whether she was in early love, so I often secretly went to the school gate to wait for her when school was out, and later found that she often talked and laughed with a boy, and when I got home, I criticized her for not falling in love early, and now it was time to study, but she cried that she did not have early love, and said that I followed her, which made her feel very disgusted! To tell the truth, when I heard the two words of disgust, I was shocked, my daughter actually rebelled into this, am I not a mother for her good? ”
In fact, what these two parents reflect is that they are two children who are in their own rebellious periods, and these two rebellious periods are the only and very worthy periods in their children's lives.
7 to 9 years old is the first rebellious period, but also the establishment of children's independent consciousness and autonomy. Many parents will have a headache as to why their children are so difficult to manage, why do they just not listen to them when they write their homework, no matter how they criticize, and even often do it, but they are not afraid?
The second rebellious period when the child is 12 to 16 years old, when the child's sense of independence is stronger, and at the same time there is a very strong sense of resistance. Parents' words are taken as a sidewind, parents' suggestions are also extremely resistant, began to pay attention to appearance and dress and have feelings for the opposite sex, personality is more distinct, but also let parents have a headache, feel that children are like a "time bomb", a word will explode.
If parents can do positive guidance, then after 18 years, the child has reached adulthood or has entered middle age, and they can distinguish themselves very clearly in these three aspects from the children who have not been well guided.
The most obvious is the initiative, children who have been actively guided by parents will have the courage to take responsibility, and will take the initiative to solve things in life, rather than being passive and sluggish to face. Just like children who are experiencing the first rebellious period, parents should give their children a certain amount of time to play, and then write homework when they should write homework, so that they can understand the joy of learning in the combination of work and leisure, and parents should let children understand that homework and learning are his own business, and if he can't finish, he will be punished.
In addition, actively guiding children during the rebellious period will make their personalities more cheerful and optimistic, rather than self-doubt, and they can have more courage to face all difficult things in life. If you are in the rebellious period, there are some children with psychological abnormalities who are often scolded by their parents, and some of their personalities are often depreciated and ridiculed, it is easy for children to have an inferiority complex, and this inferiority and self-doubt will always affect his future workplace and even married life.
The last and most important point is that children who successfully pass through the rebellious period will grow up to know how to love themselves. The reason why I say this is because when there is a rise of heterosexual consciousness in a child's adolescence, if parents can calmly sit down and talk to their children, let them understand the pros and cons and the current primary and secondary tasks, and face the beginning of the love sinus of adolescence. Especially girls, compared to boys do have a lot of risk factors, we often hear that some girls are facing difficulties because of the so-called "self-love", so parents must pay more attention to and actively guide.
Every step of the child's growth requires the active guidance of parents and leading by example, parents should not only be elders, but also be friends and mentors, accompany their children to face the branches in the process of growth, lead children to better solve problems, let them stand up straight, and help them soar.