Children's rebellion is one of the most headaches and concerns for parents. In fact, what parents do not understand is that all rebellion indicates that the child is growing up.
At different ages, children will show different rebellious behaviors, and if parents can understand the hidden psychological needs behind these behaviors, perhaps all problems will be solved.
01
First rebellious period: 2 to 3 years old
A child's first rebellious period occurs at the age of 2-3, which is the transition from infancy to toddler.
Before the age of two, the child is a little angel who will only obediently obey the orders of adults, and after the age of two, he will turn into an angry bird at any time, love and parents to do, the more he lets him do what he does, he will not do anything, he has many small ideas, always trying to implement his own ideas, throwing tantrums for a little thing, and so on. After a year of brewing, rebellion reached its peak at the age of 3.
In the face of two- and three-year-old children's disobedience and difficulty in discipline, many parents are overwhelmed, light accusations and preaching, heavy scolding. In fact, two years old is a turning point, all the rebellion represents that the child is growing up, with an assertive and independent consciousness, so parents must be patient.
What should parents do?
1. Don't respond positively to your child's unreasonable teasing
When the child cries because one of his own requirements or wishes is not met, parents must not surrender their weapons in a moment of pain, but should gently and firmly adhere to their principles, love the child but never spoil the child.
Because once children establish a connection between their own crying and adults meeting their requirements, thinking that crying can achieve their goals, they will turn crying into a means.
2. Encourage your child to express their emotions correctly
Parents must first stabilize their emotions and be clear that everything is because the child's emotions are out of control, not their true thoughts. Then help the child to resolve the negative emotions, encourage the child to express his emotions correctly, and let the child understand what is angry, what is sad, and what is happy. When they are angry, say "I'm angry" instead of using force or verbal attacks.
3. Encourage autonomy in your child
Within the allowable space, encourage children to explore, make their own decisions, and do it themselves. For example, you can let children choose what clothes to wear, what to eat, and then eat and dress by themselves.
02
Second rebellious period: 7 to 9 years old
7-9 years old, is the stage of children's transition from toddler to teenager.
Strong rebellious psychology is a common phenomenon of children at this stage, they lie in bed, do not clean up the room, picky eaters, do homework and procrastination, watch TV without restraint, bored with school, love and parents to do and so on.
At this time, the most important thing for parents to do is to respect the child, consult with the child when things happen, accompany the child with care, patience, love and some clever skills, and grow up with the child into a better self.
What should parents do?
1. Do not restrict your child's freedom
7-9 years old is the stage of children's love to play, if parents are excessively restrictive, when the child feels unfree, the first reaction is to resist the parents, or to resist the mouth, make a big fuss, you don't let me do what I want to do, or silence, with cold violence to fight against the authority of the parents. In this way, it will only make the parent-child relationship worse and make parent-child communication more difficult.
Therefore, parents should not excessively restrict their children's playful nature and freedom, and give their children relative freedom within the scope of control.
2. Cultivate your child's interest in learning
Some small skills are needed in developing an interest in learning. For example, children lack enthusiasm for learning, parents can gently discuss the future with their children, using dreams to ignite enthusiasm for learning; children do not love to read, parents in addition to being a good example, they can often take their children to visit bookstores, libraries, museums; children fail the test, parents first do not get frustrated, patiently comfort children; children have made small progress, parents do not skimp on praise...
3. Be democratic, not authoritative
7 to 9-year-old children have long learned to think independently, it is time for parents to try to gradually give autonomy to their children, whether it is the affairs of the family or the children's own affairs, may wish to consult with the children more.
03
Third rebellious period: adolescence from 12 to 15 years old
From the beginning of adolescence, both boys and girls, their bodies and minds are occupied and controlled by a huge force, and their thoughts and behaviors will change dramatically. This makes them like horned ponies, stubborn and prickly, self-centered and irritable, tantrums, and disobedience. And that force is hormones.
If parents forcibly discipline, not only will not play the expected effect, but also make the child have a strong resistance.
Parents should adjust their mentality, less blame, more understanding, more patience and tolerance.
Parents must remember that rebellion is not the child's fault.
To deal with the child's rebellion, the most important thing is the parent's education method; in the face of the child's rebellion, parents try not to fight or scold.
END
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