As the saying goes, knowing oneself and knowing the other will never be lost. The same is true for people to get along with each other, only by understanding each other's shortcomings and advantages, the most disgusting and the things that are most willing to talk about, in the usual relationship can avoid touching each other's minefields, better maintain friendship. It can also know people at key moments, give full play to each person's strengths and strengths, and maximize the overall benefits.
In addition to doing this in the usual relationship with colleagues and friends, you can also do this when you get along with relatives and friends. In fact, relatives and friends and ordinary friends are relatively only slightly closer by blood, and in fact, the degree of mutual understanding may not be as much as that of ordinary friends. Since ancient times, China has been a country where blood relations are crucial, and therefore, getting along with relatives and friends is a major event that is related to the whole body. Although it is likely that the personal will is not strong, in the other party's heart, it may be that your family does not want to see him. When getting along with relatives and friends, inadvertently implicating others or causing some misunderstandings that we did not expect is a normal thing, and it is also a frequent occurrence, but it is exactly what we want to avoid.
Normal people generally understand the bottom line and line of other people, often in order to be able to get along better. But there is also such a category of people, they understand the bottom line of others in order to let themselves be able to act arbitrarily above the bottom line of others, understand where the maximum limit of what they can do is, and truly realize what people often say now, which can emphasize their importance to others, and can also arbitrarily seek benefits for themselves without affecting the overall situation.
Friends are fine, but what if such a person is his mother-in-law?
Marry a generous and rich daughter-in-law, and the whole family will rejoice
Mingli and Haoyu graduated from college in the same year, and unlike ordinary fresh graduates, the first thing they were anxious about was not to go out to find a job, but to set the marriage down, if you can also do the wedding together, it would be great. Because the two of them have been secretly in love since they were in a class in high school, although they were justifiably together in college, the feelings between the two have been more than a few years, and the belief in guarding together is stronger.
Mingli's family conditions are good, usually her parents are also quite fond of her, and there is never a shortage of material and economic support. Because of this, although sometimes Mingli will have a little tightness in her hands, whether it is for others or for herself, she is quite generous in both acting and doing things.
Haoyu is different, although the family conditions at home are not particularly poor, but because of the large number of younger brothers and sisters, he is not willing to add too much burden to his parents, so he still relies on his own efforts during college and saves a lot of savings.
Although the economic strength of the two people in the family background is relatively large, it is fortunate that they are both people who have received the same higher education, and they are also classmates who have accompanied each other for many years, and they know each other better. Both belong to people who are more considerate of others and more filial to their parents. And many things have formed a complementary tacit understanding, such as Mingli can not cook, Haoyu will do; Haoyu is not willing to wash clothes, but Mingli washes clothes quickly and cleanly; Mingli is not good at handling interpersonal relationships, but it is better than being in a variety of social people. The love between the two in college is known as a fairy lover, and when they graduate, they are even more envious of others.
Except for the two of them, the one who was most satisfied with this marriage among all the elders was Haoyu's mother. Haoyu's mother has a lot of family pressure, and she has raised several daughters and sons with hard work, and she is very satisfied with her daughter-in-law who has seen the world, has a good temperament, is generous and dignified, and looks beautiful. In particular, she is very filial to herself, and she is also generous in her hands, which really relieves her a lot of pressure. Therefore, when Mingli and Haoyu got married and held a wedding, Haoyu's mother was busy and happy, as long as her friend mentioned her daughter-in-law, her eyes were full of smiles and unspeakable joy.
The daughter-in-law cried into tears when she got married, and the mother-in-law was happy like hugging a god of wealth
Since she was a child, Mingli has known that the family conditions at home are not ordinary, but when her parents proposed to marry him to give him a dowry car to accompany the marriage house, Mingli was still frightened. In her impression, although there is never a shortage of food and clothing at home, parents have always been very stingy with themselves, and usually when the children are not at home, they are not even willing to buy fruit, nor are they willing to go out and walk around, walk around, saying that as long as they go out to play, they have to spend money.
In this way, my parents, who have saved a lifetime, generously sent the car and the house when they got married, just so that they could lift their heads in the in-laws' house after they got married. Mingli knows that when she was young, the conditions at home were not too good, and even the tuition fees had to be pieced together, it was by relying on the fact that her brother graduated and found a good job, the family had savings, her parents went to do business, and the family conditions gradually improved, this good day was actually not too many years, and the habits saved by parents have not changed. On the day of marriage, she would rather squander a lot of money than give her the dignity that a married girl should have.
Thinking of this, Mingli can't help but feel a little sad, my brother is only 10 years older than himself, and his head is already full of white hair; although his mother is well maintained, his face has also produced wrinkles that cannot be hidden; and his father's belly has become larger and larger day by day. At this moment, they use their savings from fighting hard for half a life to send themselves off and escort themselves. To say that she is not moved is false; to say that she is moved, but in front of her are people who hope that she can live a good life. How could she shed tears at such a time?
So Mingli had to endure the sourness in her eyes, waving her hand over and over again to let the parents who sent them back quickly, and she couldn't bear to look at them again.
Behind the wedding car, Haoyu's mother smiled and pulled on Mingli's mother's hand and said, "Mother, you can rest assured, Mingli handed it over to us, I will definitely take good care of her, you can rest assured." After saying that, he turned his head and went into the wedding car team behind, took out the real estate certificate in the dowry of fame and fortune and touched it, sighed, and was reluctant to put it down.
Take generosity as a chip, treat respect as fear, and the mother-in-law has to go in for a wedding car
Back at home, the home is as calm as ever. Sometimes when you think about Mingli, you will feel like a world away. Obviously, the day before, she was still a little girl who was only in love, and today she has become her husband's wife, and even soon after she will become someone else's mother?
"Hey, Lily, are you there?" The mother-in-law just entered the door and changed her shoes while looking for Mingli.
"Mom, I'm here." Mingli eased up and quickly responded to her mother-in-law.
"Oh, Lily, that's right. Mom came today to talk to you about yesterday's bride price, the dowry and so on. Because the bride price is what we said before, there is nothing to discuss, mainly your dowry, we have to discuss how to settle it, right? As soon as the mother-in-law entered the door, she went straight to the subject and told Mingli her thoughts and intentions.
"What you are saying is that I have not yet considered how to use this house and car, and it is not good to let it empty, or I will decorate the house and rent it, and then the car will usually be used for my own transportation."
"What rental house?" As soon as Haoyu entered the door, he heard what Mingli said and asked curiously.
"Oh, husband, it's like this, my mother-in-law said to discuss with us, how to deal with the dowry car that my parents gave to him, I said that the house was for him to rent, as for the car, just give us a replacement for ourselves, before the car was also bought for several years, we saved money to buy it in our freshman year, and it should be replaced by a new one!"
As soon as this was said, Haoyu had not yet expressed his position, and Mingli's mother-in-law's face immediately pulled down, "Daughter-in-law, you are so generous, give the dowry car to your little uncle, you guys still have a substitute now." Your little brother-in-law has nothing now! ”
"Mom, what do you mean by that?" This can't work, how to deal with that is a bright thing, the car and the house are people's parents marrying her, we have no right to deal with it. As soon as Haoyu heard the meaning of his mother's words, he knew that he was iron-hearted and wanted to take down this car for his brother, and she understood her mother's personality. Don't give up until you reach your goal. But this house. It is true that I and my mother have no right to dispose of it.
Mingli has always respected Haoyu's mother, because Haoyu's mother has always taken good care of her, cared for her, and has not blocked their marriage. I didn't expect to know now that my mother-in-law was so enthusiastic and generous to herself before and took the initiative to give gifts, that is, she wanted to obediently send the dowry car to herself. How long has this been a wishful thinking? The anger in Mingli's heart suddenly came up, and she didn't explain anything more, "Mom, do you know that I have a younger brother in my family?" As a sister, I am married now, and I have not taken care of him or anything, if you want to give my car to the little uncle, I don't mind, then the dowry room will be given to my brother. ”
The two sides were deadlocked, and Haoyu was sandwiched between the inside and outside, so he had to separate the two of them first, and had a happy ending.
People are self-aware
It is said that people are valuable in having self-knowledge. Since self-knowledge is so rare, it is corresponding that it is far simpler to know others than to know oneself.
Knowing others can facilitate yourself to get along better with others, and knowing yourself is to use your strengths and avoid weaknesses to make yourself better with others, the purpose of both is the same, but for everyone's development, knowing yourself is far more important than knowing others.
The mother-in-law relationship is a non-blood relationship that accounts for a very large proportion in modern society, and the relationship between the two can be as relaxed as friends, or they can be like a war. Which method to use is in the hands of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If both parties have a kind and clear understanding of themselves, they also have a clear understanding of each other. So which mode of getting along to adopt is often decided naturally.
But no matter which mode of getting along, we should be able to know in our hearts, give the other party plenty of personal space, do not blame, interfere, and do not treat other people's things as their own. Because once all relationships involve interests, they are no longer simple.
I hope that everyone can find their own balance in complex and changeable interpersonal relationships, give themselves space, and give others free time. Manage yourself well, do not interfere with others, do your own well, and do not blame others.
Today's topic
If you were Mingli, how would you treat your mother-in-law who had two faces before and after marriage?