As a wife, you must know how to integrate into your husband's extended family. But if the members of this extended family go too far, the wife must also learn to fight back. Everyone has a good wish, that is, to be able to be harmonious and have a good relationship with everyone. If the other party is too selfish and makes unreasonable demands on himself, he does not have to swallow his anger all the time and defend his position as a hostess.
If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is good, the daughter-in-law will be more atmospheric, make a lot of tolerance, and suffer some grievances for the sake of superficial harmony. Being able to compromise with the mother-in-law in small things and not be so preoccupied will make the mother-in-law feel respected, and will also make the husband feel very grateful, which can promote the unity of the family.
However, if the mother-in-law becomes more and more unreasonable, and squeezes the daughter-in-law with the sister-in-law or uncle, this situation is another matter. If you join forces to give yourself "off the horse", a strong inch, then you must be prepared for "battle", rather than let them lose their proportions, addicted to their own bullying, and finally no one will take themselves seriously.
If a large family lives under one roof, it will not affect each other, you love to watch Peking Opera, I love to read quietly. You like to raise flowers and grass, I like to plant melons and beans, everything can be a reason for quarrels, no matter what you do, it may hinder the eyes of others.
At this time, it is necessary to distinguish who is the master and who is the guest, and if the contradiction is irreconcilable, it is also necessary to find out who should leave. As a daughter-in-law, although she is a junior, this family should have the final say with her husband, and no one has the right to drive herself out of the house. We must consolidate our position in the family, let our husbands stand on the united front with themselves, and do not let the family members make trouble.
Even if it is fiercely resisted by the whole family, it is not possible to compromise on the issue of principle, if the husband does not stand on his own position to solve the problem, he can try to communicate with the husband, if it is ineffective, then it is better to divorce and end this wrong marriage, and it is not easy to compromise.
A large family lives together, and the chickens fly and the dogs jump.
When Han Yanyan got married, her parents gave money to pay a down payment, and the younger two paid off the mortgage and bought a three-room house. Originally, the sister-in-law and the mother-in-law were in the countryside, because of the sister-in-law's study, the husband Ding Ruicheng took the trouble to help her contact a good school in the city, so that she and her mother could come to the city to live.
Originally, Han Yanyan said that it was to rent a house for them, but the husband felt that the three-room house, two people living in it was more than enough, and then a girl, not a little uncle, there is nothing inconvenient, save money and buy a set of cosmetics for the daughter-in-law. And Ding Ruicheng repeatedly said that his mother has a good temper, the sister-in-law is also obedient and sensible, and after coming, he can help cook and clean, and he will definitely not cause trouble.
Although Han Yanyan was very reluctant, but it was not easy to refute her husband's face, she consulted with her husband: "I can agree to the mother-in-law and the sister-in-law to live in, but just try it, if the two sides can get along harmoniously, then live for a while, but still have to find a suitable place for them, is the long-term solution." As soon as the husband heard that Han Yanyan was relieved, he hurriedly responded, and within a few days, his mother and sister-in-law moved in.
When the mother and sister-in-law were at home, they lived in a room, but when they came to the brother-in-law's house and saw that it was so big, the sister-in-law had to live in one room and let the mother live in one. The children's room that Han Yanyan decorated for future children must go to live in that room. The mother-in-law said: "The child is also older, let her live for a while, if you have children, I will let her move out." ”
Han Yanyan still wanted to say something more, and her husband gave her a look and did not let her speak. The mother-in-law and sister-in-law lived in peace. The mother-in-law is busy all day, it seems to be a lot of work, but she is also making a meal, the meal is still her son's daughter is willing to eat, their family is very able to eat spicy, but Han Yanyan eats a little spicy cough, but the mother-in-law every time she cooks, none of them is not spicy.
Han Yanyan put forward her opinion, and her mother-in-law said: "Everyone eats spicy, the minority must obey the majority, you can't eat in the bubble water, you can't influence everyone to eat for you alone." Han Yanyan was helpless and was reluctant to go home for dinner many times.
The mother-in-law and sister-in-law live for a long time and exclude the daughter-in-law.
Originally it was a small stay, but Ding Ruicheng did not use the excuse of not being able to find a suitable house, or it was a very happy thing to have someone to take care of at home, that is, not to mention the move of his mother and sister-in-law. Until his own child was born, his mother-in-law and sister-in-law had no intention of moving away.
At that time, it was said that their two children had children, so they let the sister-in-law vacate the house, but the children were almost one year old, and the sister-in-law still did not go, not only that, the mother-in-law also became a hostess, all day to the house to bring some square dancing aunts to the house to play, melon seeds and fruit peels were thrown all over the ground. The mother-in-law also said to others: "My family is big, if there is something to discuss, just come to my house to discuss, don't be polite to me." This made Han Yanyan listen, which was very awkward.
Not only that, she mentioned that if the child is a little older, he can't sleep in a house with himself, which means that he wants to let the sister-in-law vacate the house, but the sister-in-law said: "Let the baby sleep with the grandmother, he is so small, it is not safe to sleep alone." But the mother-in-law is also unwilling to take care of the children, she said: "During the day I take care of the family to eat and drink, and at night I will definitely sleep comfortably, my girl and I sleep until she is more than ten years old, the baby is only one year old, and it is still early." ”
Han Yanyan was very angry and communicated with her husband about this problem, but her husband said: "Now we are still counting on the old man to help us with the child, bear with it, the child is older and talk about it." Maybe the mother-in-law also saw that the little two were still pointing at her to see the child, and did not dare to offend her, so they intensified, and in three days, the two ends began to dislike the daughter-in-law.
At first, she always complained that she went to the toilet in the morning to wash up for a long time, and then she hated that she would not take the child, and the daughter-in-law was not pleasing to the eye, spent a lot of money, did not like to work, and slowly nagged and complained.
Intensify the contradiction and drive the mother-in-law and sister-in-law out.
Han Yanyan felt that she couldn't stand it anymore, and at this time, her mother-in-law also said loudly to her: "Daughter-in-law, you take the child back to your mother's house, the sister-in-law is noisy." Han Yanyan also yelled at her, "Get out of the house, my room!" The mother-in-law was startled, but reacted violently and said to Han Yanyan: "I will go, I will leave now, I will see who shows you the child." ”
Originally, the mother-in-law was gambling, but she didn't expect to go out for a turn, and I saw the sister-in-law sitting on the sofa in the living room with tears in her eyes, and all the things of the two of them were packed and placed in the doorway. Han Yanyan's parents came and took out the real estate certificate for her mother-in-law to see: "At that time, I was afraid that the house thing was not clear, so the real estate certificate was written on our name, the house was our family, you lived in vain for such a long time, it was to see your son's face, the child did not need you to see, the rent was not collected, you want to find a way to live." ”
The mother-in-law was still unwilling and said: "My son's mortgage, this house has half of my son's, you can't bully people." Han Yanyan's mother said: "You can rest assured, our family is not short of money, the little two have a good life, the house will give them two in the future, if it is not good, return the part that the son-in-law handed over to him, and then divorce, you all leave!" ”
Things got out of hand, and the mother-in-law also regretted it, persuading the daughter-in-law not to divorce for the sake of the child's smallness, and it was a big deal that she and her sister-in-law went out to live. Ding Ruicheng also promised in front of his wife that such a thing would not happen again in the future. Han Yanyan felt that she had had enough of such days and insisted on divorce.
Although Ding Ruicheng got a little money, he made a wife and daughter separated. He looked at his mother and sister who didn't know what to say, he had a good intention and wanted them to live a good life, but their appetite was too big, but they destroyed their families. However, now that everything is said, only deep remorse remains.
The daughter-in-law gives the mother-in-law a chance, and the mother-in-law should treat her sincerely.
At the very beginning, the daughter-in-law had the purpose of going to the benefit of feelings and interacted with the mother-in-law. But the mother-in-law's behavior should also be worthy of the daughter-in-law's respect. If it is the identity of the mother-in-law, or the excuse of helping the other party to see the child, the daughter-in-law is forced to suppress the daughter-in-law, hoping that the daughter-in-law will focus on herself in everything, trying to make the daughter-in-law more and more humble, such a mother-in-law will not change the daughter-in-law, but the fate of her son.
The daughter-in-law has the heart to accept the in-laws, and the mother-in-law should also have a grateful heart, or should keep a certain distance from the daughter-in-law, and do not feel that if you do not take advantage of it, you will suffer losses. Mother-in-law often feels that this is her son's home, which is equivalent to her own home, and the daughter-in-law should listen to the son, and the son listens to his own, then he can command the daughter-in-law, which is a very selfish idea.
The mother-in-law will always give her daughter-in-law such a hint: "You are a person, you should not only care about you and ignore everyone, we can do anything, you have to obey us unconditionally." "The daughter-in-law lives in such a depressed environment, it will be very uncomfortable, there is no good mood, and it is not easy to do anything."
The mother-in-law's "daughter-in-law is an outsider" thinking always makes the daughter-in-law feel isolated and helpless, even in the house she bought, she will still be forced by her mother-in-law to become an "outsider". If you are faced with this situation, you must not tolerate it, do not be afraid to tear your face, that is, you should divide it, that is, you should give her a reason.
"It is easy to ask God to send God is difficult", the difference between the three views and living habits between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is really too big, and there should be independent space for each other.
If you can live separately, it is still recommended that the daughter-in-law not easily obey her husband's words and bring her mother-in-law and sister-in-law or uncle to the house. It is better to spend more money on them to rent a house outside than to try to live together as a family.
Today's Topic:
The mother-in-law is unreasonable, how will you defend your hostess's position?