01
In today's environment of more men and fewer women, why are there more and more leftover women in the elderly?
Writer Li Yinhe once said:
"In the past, women had no source of livelihood if they did not marry, but now it is different, women can completely support themselves, do not need to be attached to men, and the willingness to marry is much lower than in the past."
The improvement of women's social status has made more and more independent women choose not to marry. Until you meet the soul mate who is highly compatible with yourself, you would rather be elegantly single than have a low-quality marriage.
There are also some women who have not stepped into the palace of marriage for a long time, not because they have not met a suitable marriage partner, but even if the fate arrives, she may not be able to catch it.
They often lack a correct understanding of their own conditions.
Even if she is just an ordinary passerby, she feels that she is different, and firmly believes that there will be a man who has a car and a house, is handsome, has a high income, and is obedient to her orders.
In this way, he picked and chose all the way, and finally lost his advantage and dominance.
Yu Mei (pseudonym) has made herself a leftover girl in this way, and until she is 40 years old, she still can't figure out the situation.
02
Yu Mei is a veritable elderly leftover woman, just 40 years old this year.
The reason why she is left until now is on the one hand because the requirements for men are relatively high, and on the other hand, she always believes in her heart that men should pay more in the relationship between the sexes.
To say that Yu Mei's conditions, in the blind date market can be described as no advantage at all.
40-year-old people, one has no savings, two do not have a house, and the work income is also very average. Although there is still a bit of posture, after all, the age is there, no matter how much maintenance is not as good as the little girl's water spirit.
But somehow, Yu Mei was born with a sense of superiority, feeling that she was born to be the life of a rich man's wife, and since she fell in love in college, she has specifically picked those rich heterosexual contacts.
However, for rich families, falling in love is one thing, and getting married is another.
Talk about love and find a girlfriend, how they can charm how to find. But when it comes to marriage, they feel like a mirror in their hearts. Not to mention finding the right girls, but it is also impossible to marry those vases that eat beauty as food.
Yu Mei has experienced several periods of love with the rich brother, and during the relationship, they are mostly generous, often taking Yu Mei in and out of some high-end places.
It is said that it is easy to go from frugality to luxury, and it is difficult to return from luxury to frugality.
After a few days of rich people's life, Yu Mei, after breaking up with several ex-boyfriends, became more and more disdainful of those men who were still in the struggle period, and only wanted to pick up a ready-made rich man.
As a result, for a long time afterwards, she rejected many blind dates who were fully worthy of her in the eyes of outsiders. Either this is too thin, that is too short, or it is disliked that the house is not big enough, and the car is not high-grade...
That's all there is to 40 years old.
In October last year, after experiencing countless failed blind dates, Yu Mei finally met a man who was still relatively desirable.
The other party is the same age as her, is a foreigner, runs a small business by herself, has a good income, and has a big three-bedroom apartment in her hometown county.
The reason why he has never been married is because his girlfriend, who has been in a relationship for seven years five years ago, has changed her mind and married another rich and powerful man. He was hurt and began to stop looking forward to marriage.
Coming out on a blind date is under pressure from the family. Holding the psychology of finding if you can find it, and pulling it down if you can't find it, the Buddhist family is close.
The first time they met, he had a good impression of Yu Mei.
First, Yu Mei was indeed well maintained, younger than her peers in the past. Second, he felt that women at this age were not as impetuous as young girls, and should be able to live with themselves in a down-to-earth manner.
Lang has affection, concubines have intentions. The two dated for a short time.
In the blink of an eye, it was the Spring Festival, and the other party proposed to take Yu Mei back to her hometown to meet her parents. And said that if she returned from her hometown, she would still be willing to settle the affair.
After all, their age is already old, and it is obviously unrealistic to talk about three or five years of love and get married like young people.
Although Yu Mei was quite satisfied with the other party, she did not allow herself to let people marry home so easily. Moreover, if a man wants to marry a wife, he has to pay more.
So she offered the other party the conditions for marriage: to buy a million-dollar house in the city, and to add her name.
The other party stared at Yu Mei in disbelief for a while, and said unceremoniously: "If I can buy a million houses in full, what kind of girl do I want to find, as for looking for you forty-year-old girl?" ”
Break up on the spot.
Yu Mei was angry, but she didn't regret it. She felt that the other party wanted to marry his wife without giving anything, and he really deserved to be single.
03
I have to say that the reason why some older leftover women can't marry out is that they are completely "made" by themselves. And through Yu Mei's story, it also tells us two truths:
One: Only when your cognition of yourself is clear enough, can you choose a suitable life for yourself.
Han Han wrote in "Confession and Farewell":
"A good horse with a good saddle, a good boat with a good sail." Wang Ba paired with mung beans, stupid with cerebral palsy. In no special case, everything is naturally categorized. ”
What kind of person a girl wants to marry, she must first make herself that kind of person, so that it is easier to attract each other and let his eyes stop for you. Instead of saying that he is obviously just a small house bird, he wants to climb up the branches and become a phoenix.
So-called, sparrows are difficult to climb the dragon.
The most common mistake that many older leftover women make in love is that they know that their comprehensive conditions are really general in the eyes of outsiders, but they always feel good about themselves, thinking that ordinary ordinary people are not worthy of her mistakenly entering the world.
On the one hand, men are required to have a car and a house and a deposit, and on the other hand, they must be on call to twenty-four filial pieties.
I would like to ask, how many such wonderful men can there be? Even if you are lucky enough to meet it, what capital do you have to attract the favor of others? If a man is not bad for money and not bad face, why should he put a young girl and not, but must find leftover women?
Older leftover women always want too much, and they can't meet the conditions that can match the rich and handsome, but hasn't it become the biggest contradiction?
Women must be soberly aware that in real life, there are not so many stories of Cinderella and Prince Charming.
Only when your cognition of yourself is clear enough, can you choose a life that suits you.
Second: Often what is gained for nothing is more than worth the loss.
Bing Xin once said:
"The flower of success, people only envy her current brilliance. However, her buds were soaked with tears of struggle. ”
Part of the reason why many older leftover women have never returned on the road of pursuing high wealth and handsomeness is that they come from girls around them whose conditions (mostly refer to beauty) are comparable to their own, or whose conditions are far inferior to their own.
"Just because they can marry rich and handsome, why can't I?"
As everyone knows, the ability of others to marry so-called successful people is not all accidental, but more dependent on their own efforts. Only love that is evenly matched can be relatively long-lasting.
And those women who did not work hard when they were young and only wanted to marry a rich man, even if they married into the rich as they wished, often waited until they were no longer prosperous, and they had to work how to tie up men.
This is the same reason that people often say that "don't work hard today, try to find a job tomorrow".
I don't believe that although you look around, those who marry into the rich with their beauty, which is not an outsider looking at the infinite scenery, in fact, they are fighting mother-in-law and fighting small three, and they dare not go around making a noise?
The girl who can really gain a foothold in the giants must be a woman who has both moral integrity and ability, does not lose her own strength, and still does not forget to improve herself after marriage. Often what is gained for nothing is more than worth the loss.
Especially for elderly girls, don't use "age is just a number" to numb yourself.
If you have a car and a house and a deposit, it may attract some "younger brothers" who don't want to work hard, and rush to be good with you. But how long can such a relationship last?
If you are in mediocre condition and are still dreaming of a princess when you are old, I advise you to stop as soon as possible! Even if the prince is looking for Cinderella, there are still younger ones to choose from.
Remember, in any relationship, whoever has the right conditions has absolute advantages and initiative!
If you don't, just stop there!
Text/No Pen