1, there is a young woman in our unit, just divorced, called me, said that his husband is not at home to ask me to go to the house to help her dredge the sewer pipe, by the way at her house to have dinner, drink two glasses of wine. I bring

1, there is a young woman in our unit, just divorced, called me, said that his husband is not at home to ask me to go to the house to help her dredge the sewer pipe, by the way at her house to have dinner, drink two glasses of wine. I rushed to the female colleague's house with my tools! The husband of the female colleague is in business, very rich, and left a large amount of money and a large house for the female colleague after the divorce. I thought that if I could get the favor of my female colleague and chase her in my hand, I would be able to struggle for several years less, I helped my female colleague dredge the sewer pipe in the bathroom, and the female colleague was very happy, cooked several dishes, and drank with me. As a result, I couldn't drink enough, and I soon fainted. The female colleague's face was rosy, and her eyes were confused and asked me, can you still drink? If you can't drink it, rest it! I thought to myself that my female colleague is a little looking down on my alcohol intake, so how can it work? In order to gain her favor, I opened another bottle of wine, desperately forced to drink, and finally I drank and vomited, drunk from the dining room to the living room, from the living room to the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, balcony... Then, my female colleagues and I didn't have a then!

2, my husband stole my ID card and borrowed 1200 yuan and bought two soft Chinese. After I knew it, I was particularly angry and had a fight with my husband. By dinner the next morning, my husband and I ignored each other. My son immediately said to me, "Mom, did you quarrel with your father last night?" Don't be angry, I'm on your side, remember, my son is helping you, you can't learn from others like that to argue and not win the child out of anger! ”

3. After so many years, I once again came to the door of Maotanchang Middle School. It was once my alma mater, and I remember my life in school: the concentration in class, the sprinkling in the exam room, the galloping on the court, the singing in the candlelight, and the shadows in the memory. I think back then, I also went through hard work to have today's achievements. Just as I was sighing, a student suddenly called out to me: "Boss, a meat sandwich bun to take away!" Me: "Okay, right away!" ”

4. In order to celebrate my cousin's purchase of a Rolls-Royce, I went to the hotel to celebrate. We all eat braised pork at this hotel is not right. So I called out to the boss: Boss, is your braised pork made of pigs? At this time, a two-hundred-pound chef came out with a spoon. Looking at the two angrily: There is a kind of you say it again!

5. The female supervisor planned to buy a second-hand Chery QQ, which was 3,000 yuan, and I lent it to her. After a week, the female supervisor only returned me 2,000 yuan. Just when I was depressed, she secretly said to me: I don't want to pay back the remaining 1000, can I repay it in other ways? I looked at the female supervisor Wanna's posture and immediately took her home. I asked her to wash my clothes for a day, and the hygiene was also thoroughly cleaned up, and it was finally leveled.

6. During the festival, the rich and the female friend sent a red envelope of 2,000 yuan. As a result, the female friend replied to the rich WeChat: during the festival, you will give me 2,000 red envelopes. The rich man was blown up at first sight. Later, the more I thought about it, the more angry I became, and I didn't eat lunch, and I planned to blacken her! Looking at the information again, it turned out that the two words were reversed, and the original words of the people were: You will give me 2,000 red envelopes during the festival. "

7, a show of talent, only know that reading will not do things. One day, his wife washed a bunch of clothes and was about to dry them out, when the neighbor told her that she had something to do and wanted to go out. When she was leaving, she said to Xiucai: "Today the wind is strong, you string up your clothes to dry." After his wife left, Xiucai put her wet clothes on her body and stood in the sun to dry. The wife came back to see him and asked him, "How do you put wet clothes on your body?" Xiucai said, "Didn't you tell me to wear it and dry it?" ”

8. When I was young, my brothers and sisters played hide-and-seek together, and at that time I secretly said: even hiding under the window can't escape the clutches of my sisters. So I gritted my teeth and hid in the stove pit at home (at that time, the stove pit in the countryside was more powerful to climb into) My sister looked for a meeting, couldn't find it and ran out to play. It was winter, and I thought it was quite warm in the stove and I fell asleep in a daze!! When my dad was holding firewood and lighting it in the evening to prepare to cook vegetables, I climbed out with a big black face, which scared my dad into jumping back and rolling on the ground in a circle...

9, a sparrow came in the house, I opened the door and the window, bombed for half a day did not bomb out, I toss tired and sit on the sofa to drink water. At this time, the old man came and asked: What about Xiao Wei? (My son) Me: Let him follow my mother today, you go fishing. My father-in-law sat on the couch and watched TV, and I watched the sparrow hiding in the corner of the cabinet for half a day, and it was cold in the open door, and I said while closing the door: Let you go. You can't go if you want to. My father-in-law jerked to his feet: "What are you talking about...?"

10, did not eat at night, ordered a takeaway, there is a pot of meat, kung pao chicken and a bowl of rice. Recently on the fire can not eat spicy, I wrote a note back to the pot meat is not spicy. As a result, the diced chicken and rice sent by Miyoshi were delivered, and I asked the takeaway what about the meat in the pot? The takeaway replied with a straight face: "Didn't you write about the fish and meat shreds?" ”

11, colleague husband is a taxi driver, one night pulled three, to the destination, more than twenty dollars. The said, There's no money, you can watch and do it. "The husband of the colleague saw that he had met a scoundrel, thinking that more was better than less, so he drove away. After a while, I found that there was a newly bought jacket on the seat, or a brand, seven or eight hundred, and I originally wanted to send it back. Think about those faces, forget it. Back home

12, this day to go to school to pick up my girlfriend from work, at the school gate heard a few children bragging. A boy said in front of a little Lolita: "The day before yesterday, more than 10 people fought with me, and they didn't knock me down for two hours!" Little Lori asked admiringly, "That's great, how did you do it?" The boy smiled bitterly and said, "They tied me to a pillar and beat me!" I don't think it will fall! ”

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