1, one day the sister-in-law was playing at my house, we were chatting, I heard the sound of my daughter-in-law opening the door. I had a whim and wanted to tease her. He shouted: Hide quickly, my daughter-in-law is back. My daughter-in-law

1, one day the sister-in-law was playing at my house, we were chatting, I heard the sound of my daughter-in-law opening the door. I had a whim and wanted to tease her. He shouted: Hide quickly, my daughter-in-law is back. As soon as my daughter-in-law opened the door, she slapped her sister-in-law out of the bed and slapped her sister-in-law twice on her ass, and the sister-in-law cried and said, Brother-in-law, sister beat me. I hugged my three-year-old sister-in-law and said she hit me too.

2, these days have been dieting weight loss, eating half of my boyfriend. Today I went to a breakfast restaurant I often went to eat, and I ordered two as usual, but I served three, so I asked the hostess if it was wrong. The hostess said while cleaning up the dishes and chopsticks: Hey, you come to me every day for breakfast, every time you give half to your boyfriend, you eat so much full, this aunt sent, don't want money! Suddenly my heart was moved... If it weren't for the bowl that was sent, it would have been a bit sloppy, and I almost believed it. "

3. I accidentally broke the mirror that my ex-girlfriend sent me. It was the only thought she had left behind, and I squatted down trying to restore the fragments. Dad was worried that I would hurt my finger and hurriedly kicked it. Me: Dad, do you think the broken mirror can be reunited? Dad: Others may be able to reunite when they break the mirror, but you can't drop it! I looked at Dad, who narrowed his eyes and said seriously: Because the mirror your girlfriend sent is square!?

4, just entered the unit to work, the female secretary began to pursue me madly, and I am now single and make up with the female secretary. Yesterday afternoon riding a battery car with my girlfriend, the battery of the halfway car ran out of power, and we had to push away. A Lexus LS500 came up in front of me, the window rolled down, and my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend was sitting inside. He stared at me dismissively, smiled and asked my girlfriend, "Or I'll take you for a ride, the poor guy drove the electric car." The girlfriend said sarcastically: "This car is not bought by you, this is your father gave you, we will have it later." I saw my ex-boyfriend's face turn blue, and he actually yelled at me: "Dad, tell her who bought this car." ”

5. When I was a child, I picked up a small dirt dog on the side of the road and took it home to keep. Once when I came home and found that the little dog in the house was missing, I asked my mother where the dog was, my mother did not squeak, silently took out a dog leg from the cupboard, it turned out that my uncle took advantage of the fact that I was not at home to stew my dog, and then I ran to my uncle's house to block the door and scolded for an afternoon, and came home with the dog leg wrapped while nibbling and crying!

6. The brother-in-law entered the city for the first time, and at night he and his wife took him to the pedestrian street for a walking tour. Coming out of a clothing store, there stood a beautiful lady boss at the door. The brother-in-law passed by the boss lady while watching the liveliness, and the boss lady gave way sideways. The brother-in-law was clever and put his arms around the lady boss! But the hostess was frightened and asked him what he was doing? The brother-in-law said awkwardly: I thought it was a model that I knocked down...?

7. The ex-wife was pregnant with her second child when she was 46 years old, because it was difficult for an elderly woman to give birth. At that time, I chose to keep small, and after a few days, I got along with my ex-wife's girlfriend. On the wedding day, she came to kiss her, and the local custom was wrapped up by his brother and handed over to me personally. Then I wrapped up the wedding car, a custom I had heard of for the first time. Then, I looked at her brother, who was five years old and three thick, wrapped around my small and exquisite wife. He walked towards me very lightly, living Tuotuo like a bear wrapped in a corn cob. If it weren't for the groomsmen holding me back, I would have laughed...

8, brother yesterday and a girl on the date, the girl never eats meat, is a vegetarian. At the dinner table the brother looked at her in amazement, and she probably saw his doubts as well. He smiled and said, "Do you have something to say to me?" You're also curious about me, right? Brother: "I must be curious, I was wondering how you cultivated the fat on your fleshy body?" ”‘

9. My wife and I had dinner at the restaurant this evening. I heard a man next to me pick up the phone and ask: Are you selling car insurance? The other person said: Yes. This man said: Don't call me in the future, I said I don't have a car, you call me so much a day, I dream I have a car, do you know how uncomfortable I wake up? I don't sleep and dream normally now. I can hear the laughter on the other end of the phone...

10. In recent days, I have been drinking the medicinal liquor brought by my friends from other places, saying that I can make up for my weakness. Yesterday with the female boss of our company took the elevator to work, the result was a bit overdone, unconsciously nosebleeds, a time of busy stop bleeding. Finally stopped when the elevator stopped. As a result, when I got off the elevator, the landlady blushed and said: I didn't expect you to be such a person. Then a punch hit me in the nose. Then the nosebleeds came out again, this time hitting.

11, what is the use of high education, doctoral studies have been read, or no girlfriend. Listen to the matchmaker, the other party is a rich second generation, but the academic qualifications are only high school. When he arrived at the agreed place, the man said directly and proudly: My father is the vice president of the top 500, and I am now working in his Jin Mao Building. I looked at him faintly and said dismissively: Cut, the eunuch is still working in the Forbidden City!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #