After working in Wanda Group for 4 years, he finally spent 4.5 million yuan to buy his own house in Shanghai. Yesterday the goddess came to my house to play, chatting and talking about the goddess actually said to me: "I think of your bed."

After working in Wanda Group for 4 years, he finally spent 4.5 million yuan to buy his own house in Shanghai. Yesterday the goddess came to my house to play, chatting and chatting with the goddess actually said to me: "I want to lie down on your bed, try your bed comfort is uncomfortable?" I was startled at first, and then decisively threw her out. Looking at the back of the goddess leaving, I let out a long breath. Me: "What are you kidding?" If she found out that I wet the bed last night, would she want me to live? ”

2. On weekends, there are no classes in school, and my roommate and I have nothing to do to go fishing in the small river in the suburbs. We sat there patiently, and after a while I caught an umbrella. After a while I caught another coat. After a while, the roommate caught a leather shoe... At this time, the roommate said uneasily: "Let's still stop fishing, it seems that there are people living below." ”

3, yesterday driving my tractor to the county town to buy goods, I saw a handsome guy pushing a Yadi electric car, looking strange. Curious, I asked him: Is your electric car out of power? Or I'll give you a ride. Handsome man: There is electricity, how can the newly bought one have no electricity. I asked again: Can't you ride? Handsome Man: No. Me: So how do you push it? Handsome man: The boss who just sold the car said, take good care, you can ride for a few more years, I had to push home in order to ride for a few more years!

4, the cousin is dry construction site, today bought a pair of shoes on the stall, work to wear. The stall goods are the ground stall goods, and they actually embroidered a Mercedes-Benz logo. I smiled and asked, "Cousin, how much is your Mercedes-Benz shoes?" The cousin's face did not change color, he smiled indifferently, and said in a coaxing manner, "What money do you want?" The car buyer sent it! ”

5, my cousin went to the store to buy high heels in order to participate in the model catwalk. The person who bought the shoes is a rich big sister, and the big sister is called a cold and noble ah. My cousin took a pair of high heels and asked her, "How much is this shoe for a pair?" The eldest sister said coldly, "300! The cousin bargained and said: "Cheaper, 150 sell or not?" Big sister: "Yes, do you want to have a left foot or a right foot?" ”

6, the king of the fight met a little brother! Later, after slow contact, I liked him! My girlfriend encouraged me to confess. I shyly sent a picture of "holding Lao Tzu's hand" to the other person's second reply: "Missing a husband word" Ah! Foggy grass... I want to kill him!

7, there is a rich second generation in the college dormitory, after returning from visiting relatives in his hometown, he has been sullen, and his roommate asked him what the situation was, whether he was in love. Fu Er Dai said heavily: "Lost love, just one less girlfriend, I am more depressed than this." The room friendly and curiously asked, the rich second generation half a genius said: "I did not come home for a year, my mother gave birth to a younger brother for me, overnight, I lost half of the family property...

8. Every week, the company will have a morning meeting on the first day of work. The boss said: "The company's air conditioning is broken, it takes two or three days to repair, the weather is also relatively hot these two days, if you can wear less, try to wear less, especially you female colleagues, you must pay attention, do not heat stroke." I felt instantly: I came to this company, it seems that I have come to the right place!

9. After graduating from my Ph.D., I became an excellent attending physician with an annual salary of more than one million. But because of the busy work, I couldn't find a girlfriend. The family was particularly anxious, and the trustee introduced me to a sister. My sister and I walked by the lake after dinner, chatting and telling jokes as we walked, and my sister was so amused by me that she was trembling with flowers, and she saw that it was about to become, looking at the lotus flowers, and wanted to pick one to send her. But in the process of picking the foot slipped, instinct pulled back, directly pushed the sister into the lake, the damn thing is that I didn't have anything to do, fortunately the water is not deep, the sister herself got up, glared at me, and then left with a body of mud...

10, just out of the door, the roommate called me, very anxious to say: Xiaomei, there is something I forgot to tell you, you are coming back, I told you in person. As soon as I heard that my breath was very urgent, I rushed back to the dormitory, and as soon as I entered the door, I breathlessly asked my roommate: What's the matter, you say. My roommate took the water cup and said to me: The water dispenser is out of water, the bucket is too heavy, I can't move, I can't change the water. Specifically, I want to hit people...

1 The brother-in-law often abused his cousin, and the cousin raised a Tibetan mastiff for this purpose. When the brother-in-law moved again, he was bitten by the Tibetan mastiff and became a vegetative person. My cousin immediately divorced him and finally got out of the sea of suffering. Single for a year, my cousin still hasn't found a suitable other half. Today I went to play with her, and found that she was wearing a short skirt and her feet were red, and her knees were purple, and the road was not good. I asked her curiously: Sister, have you had a boyfriend? My cousin said with some embarrassment: No, in order to make others think that I have a boyfriend, I knelt down all night!

12, say an afternoon thing, LZ chewed Yida squeezed the bus, giggling and giggling to spit a bubble, who wants to stand next to a beautiful woman is also chewing Yida, spit a bigger, this LZ will come hard, take a deep breath and spit out, a lump of white directly hit the face of the handsome guy in the front seat, this is not gc, the beauty saw a smile, a larger lump of white matter spewed out and also smashed into the face of this handsome guy, this is not gc, the handsome man looked at us both blankly, came to the sentence: You two are a gang, right, right, "

13, netizens: netizens: one day, the son inexplicably asked his father: Since Sun Wukong can make a big fuss in the Heavenly Palace in the Journey to the West, then why did he let Guanyin come to help lower the demon on the way to the Western Heavens? Dad took a deep breath of his cigarette and said, "You'll understand when you're done." When he was making a big fuss in the Heavenly Palace, Sun Wukong encountered all the work for the Jade Emperor, contributing but not playing with his life; when the Western Heavens learned the scriptures, he encountered all the people who came out to start a business by himself... Entrepreneurial...

14, there is a grandfather with a mobile phone to go to the mobile phone repair shop. Asked the shopkeeper to see if there was a problem with his mobile phone, the shopkeeper looked at it and couldn't find the problem, and the grandfather was disappointed and asked the shopkeeper: Then why don't none of my children call me? The owner was stunned.