1. My wife went abroad, there are only two people left in the family, my mother-in-law is 45 years old this year, looks still charming, because my father-in-law left early, so my mother-in-law has been single, mine

1. My wife went abroad, there are only two people left in the family, my mother-in-law is 45 years old, she still looks charming, because my father-in-law left early, so my mother-in-law has been single, my mother-in-law is in a company as a financial director, the ability is very outstanding, the income is also very high, so there are many bachelors who want to pursue my mother-in-law. One day, my mother-in-law quietly pulled me to my bedroom and asked, "I have a Maybach that has been driving for a week, do you want it?" Me: "How can I afford to buy Maybach?" Mother-in-law: "You make a price, I am tired of driving this car, and I will sell you at the right price." I tentatively asked, "80,000?" The mother-in-law exclaimed, "So little? I bought it for more than $5 million. I was distressed: "But my salary is not much, now this little money!" Mother-in-law: "Then now make up 920,000 dowry for you, and this car is sold to you for 1 million." ”

2. I was relatively fat, and I was in a relationship with my girlfriend for about three years at the time, and that was the first time I went to her house!? At that time, I was embarrassed to eat more, and at night I had a window with my husband, and I was so hungry that I couldn't sleep, and my husband patted me "Stinky boy!? Didn't you eat enough at night!? Hungry and panicked, waiting"After a while, the old man greeted me and made me a large bowl of hot noodles, and there were a few appetizers and a beer next to me!? At that time, we both drank all night, and the next day we directly gave us the hukou book!?

3. The teacher really did not deceive people, when I went to college, I began to play DNF in the dormitory like a wild horse that was out of control. Once bored in the dormitory, I went to the commissary to buy a box of rubbing cannons, and then put them in the Chinese cigarette, and it took a long time to make the cigarette look different. Originally wanted to tease the roommate, but the guide came to our dormitory to play. He lit the cigarette and said, "How does this smoke spew sparks?" I didn't dare to say a word at the time, and the instructor didn't pay attention to playing with the mobile phone, and then... He blew up!

4. I am an old lottery player, yesterday I went to buy a color drift and bought it for 10 yuan. I got up early this morning, and I saw that the color drift I bought yesterday won 1,000 yuan and sang a song in the living room: "Brother in front of a crooked river... The wife was indignant: "What about the howl in the early morning?" Me: "I'm happy!" Wife: "You should really be happy, your son is cooperating with you again!" Me: "Why did you cooperate?" Wife: "Pee the window!" "I rushed into the back room and glanced at it, and there was indeed a crooked river on this window!"

5. Dad called to say that the house was demolished, and I immediately resigned to go home to get the money. The car came, I didn't expect it to be a Honda Civic, driving or beautiful. I asked the beauty: "Driving a luxury car and working part-time, you are not bad for these few dollars, why?" Beauty smiled contemptuously at me, "I just like to see you poor ghosts stunned, envious and puzzled." "At that time, I couldn't help but scold her and cry, and after getting out of the car, I resolutely gave her a five-star praise!

6. In high school, I liked a girl in my class who never said anything. Later, when I went to college, I was still pursuing her, because in my heart she was the goddess of perfection. She sent me a letter that day: If you never abandon, I will in life and death. I didn't understand it, so I asked my English sixth-grade student to translate. She said, "If you don't leave me, I'll die with you." So I was heartbroken and never contacted the girl again. Later, I also passed the sixth level of English, and I realized that if you don't give up, I will live and die!? But I didn't dare to contact her, because my sister said: Honey, if you dare to find her, I will break your leg and raise you for a lifetime!?

7. After graduating from college, I went to work for a company, and my mother urged me to find a partner. So I introduced a girl I knew through a friend, and it didn't take long for us to establish a relationship, and when it came time to meet my parents, as soon as I arrived near her house, how did I feel so familiar!? At that time, I didn't care so much, I followed her up, and as soon as the door opened, I turned my head and ran, it turned out that she was actually my cousin's little daughter, which was good, and the family did not dare to go back.

8. Yesterday morning, because the alarm clock did not ring, it resulted in a late rise. After getting up, I didn't have time to wash up and run directly to the bus stop. Luckily, the last train hasn't left yet. Just sat up after a sister in the bag rummaging around, a will take out twenty yuan to ask the passengers next to whether there is change, it seems that there is no change to coin. At this time, the girl noticed me and gave me a gentle and pleading look. How could this opportunity be missed, I walked up to her and looked at her: no money for me to go down!

9. I usually don't smile, and my sister-in-law, who is just sixteen years old this year, is a little afraid of me. At noon, I heard someone knocking on the door, and when I opened the door, I saw that it was my sister-in-law. She held a bamboo leaf green in her hand and handed it to me while saying, "My sister asked me to give it to you." After saying that, he hurried away with his suitcase.

In the evening, my wife came home from work and asked me, "Did you get the snake?" ”

I said, "Hmm. ”

Wife: "My sister has started school, let's help take care of it, you feed her some meat paste." ”

Feed some minced meat? I looked at the snake soup in the pot and fell into thought...

#Funny##Funny paragraph ##搞笑幽默趣闻 #

[666] Please leave your precious praise, which is my motivation for continued happiness.