1, last night, my husband and I went to bed after taking a bath, when we slept confused, I suddenly felt that someone locked my neck, and it felt like a hug, and I was struggling to die

1, last night, my husband and I went to bed after taking a bath, when we slept confused, suddenly felt that someone locked my neck, it felt like a hug, I struggled to the death, and finally woke my husband up. My husband let go of me and said, he dreamed of fighting with thieves, I was sweating at that time, this year I can sleep and my life is in danger!?

2. My roommate in the university dormitory, soaking his feet at night is soaked with socks, so I asked doubtfully: Why don't you take off your socks and wash your feet? He said: This way you can wash your socks while soaking your feet. With such a strange roommate, I was also drunk...

3, yesterday bought a small coat for my girlfriend, the quality is not bad, but the pocket is too small. In the morning, I went out to get a box of cigarettes, dropped them in my pocket, bought another box at noon, smoked one and dropped it again. At night, the more I thought about it, the more angry I became, I took off my clothes and threw them into the trash can, and my girlfriend said that this dress was more than a thousand pieces. After thinking about it for a while and feeling sorry, I picked it up again, and as a result, I dropped two more boxes of cigarettes, and I was angry.

4. My sister was a female anchor before, and her list one was a rich man in her 60s, and then she married a rich man in the first list. After getting married, I bought a house directly in Tang Cheng Yipin and it was downstairs from their house. Just when I was playing a game at home, I found my little nephew crying and running to me, and I asked: Why, the man is still crying! My nephew said: Let my mother beat me. Curious, I asked: What's going on. Nephew said: Today my sister took a pen to paint the white wall, I don't want my sister to be beaten, so I went to my mother's room to get the bottle of whitening cream and fell it all on the wall! I was surprised: You mean you applied all the limited-edition whitening cream your mom bought? The nephew nodded: "Well, isn't that whitening?"

5. The brothers shook before and made a relationship with a daughter-in-law of Inner Mongolia. Gentle and lovely, buddy is mean, always bullying and teasing her. The buddies either twisted her hands and kicked her, or they fell down and couldn't move. In the past two days, his daughter-in-law suddenly wanted to go home. The reason is actually: the old family in Inner Mongolia wants to compete to kill wolves with bare hands! The women's team has no main force, she wants to go back to the competition, and turned over her past wolf killing photos to reassure the buddies. Dude these days walking are a bit of a squirm...

6. The manager of the company's financial department was fired because he could not count. In order to be able to become this manager, I tried my best to please the female boss. Within a week, the two of us were together. Every time I go to sleep, I can smell a special smell from her. The landlady told me it was body fragrance, and I've always believed in it. Just today I went to the bathhouse to take a shower, and when I changed my clothes, I smelled this smell of the big brother next to me. Seeing my curious eyes, the eldest brother said with a smile: Brother, I'm really sorry, the fox smell on my body is a little heavy...

7. Some time ago, the abbot posted a photo of a Chevrolet car in the circle of friends, with the text: Sadness! Sorrow, sorrow! The friend was very surprised, and asked him in the comment area: what is the worry about such a good car! The abbot sent a WeChat message to a friend and said: You are afraid that you don't know, this is a car I specially rented, ready to go home for the New Year to save face, 1,000 yuan a day, originally only planned to rent for three days, the result has now been rented for more than thirty days! It's better to buy a car! Friend said: What's the wonder!?

8. The mother-in-law chose to commit suicide if she could not repay the high online loan, but the father-in-law did not think so. It didn't take long for the mother-in-law's single sister to marry her father-in-law, but after marriage, the two often quarreled. That night, the two men quarreled again over money. The father-in-law was angry at that time: "It's all for money, money, money, people like you, open a word, money, if you put money in your mouth again, we will divorce." His wife: "Well, divorce is divorce, you tell me clearly, divorce how much money you give me." ”?

9. I entered Shandong Normal University with excellent results in the college entrance examination, and one of the college's roommates had a crush on the school's department flower. He often asked tie flowers for a walk together, but never had the courage to confess his love to her. One night, Tie Hua shyly said to him: "I heard someone say that the length of a man's arms is exactly equal to the waistline of a woman, do you believe it?" Why don't we give it a try? The roommate said happily, "Well, wait a minute, I'll go find the rope right away." "I thought to myself: I should be single!"

10. My family is a famous three-generation poor peasant in the village, the family has four walls, and there is no lower meal. I have kissed many times in recent years without success, the emperor is worthy of the heart, and today the woman finally agreed. But I was very embarrassed, and my mother asked me: Is it okay? I smiled bitterly and said: Too fat. My mother taught me in a serious tone: Son, you don't have to pick, on the condition of our family, it is only a matter of time before she loses weight...

11. After graduating from college, my brother-in-law worked in a machine window factory, and his hand was crushed by the machine that day due to an operation error. As a result, the brother-in-law rested at home for three months, evaluated the silkworm, compensated 500,000 yuan, and proposed a new car. When I was working today, my brother-in-law suddenly saw that there was 20 yuan under the machine, so he used his feet to pick it up. At this time, the boss passed by and saw it, and directly pushed him aside: Boy, you used one finger to change the car, and now you plan to change the suite with your feet, right?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #