My brother-in-law has been borrowing my Bentley for a month and is going to drive tomorrow for a business trip, so I went to his house to ask for it. Me: "You borrowed my car, can you pay me back?" The brother-in-law looked disdainful: "Brother-in-law, I look at you."

My brother-in-law has been borrowing my Bentley for a month and is going to drive tomorrow for a business trip, so I went to his house to ask for it.

Me: "You borrowed my car, can you pay me back?" ”

The brother-in-law looked dismissive: "Brother-in-law, I see that you don't know what it means to borrow money, right?" ”

I looked confused: "What does it mean?" ”

Brother-in-law: "Tell you this, did Zhuge Liang borrow the East Wind to pay it back, did Sun Ce borrow the soldiers to pay it back, and did Sun Wukong borrow the golden hoop stick to pay it back?" ”

Me: "Got it, I also borrowed 200,000 from my father-in-law." ”

Brother-in-law: "Alas, brother-in-law, you drive this car back, my father's 200,000 you have to pay back, I still expect the 200,000 to pay the down payment." ”

2, before a Jiangsu and Zhejiang yellow wine workshop, brewed yellow wine is always turbid, how to filter, how to precipitate, can not be solved, one day the boss was in a bad mood scolded the following guy, the guy top the boss a few words, the boss was angry to say that tomorrow you don't have to work, the guy in order to retaliate against the boss, before leaving, quietly sprinkled a few handfuls of grass and wood ash into one of the wine tanks and went away, the next day the boss opened the altar to check the wine, a look at one of the pots of wine is clear, all the turbidity is precipitated at the bottom of the tank, and the taste is more fragrant and refreshing, There is grass and wood ash in the sediment, and then the boss took a jar of yellow wine to put some grass and wood ash in it, put it for a few hours to see if this is true, from some later the problem of turbidity of yellow wine was completely solved, and later also produced a kind of yellow wine Yansheng wine - sake...

3. Two horses looking at the passing cars on the side of the highway and finding that the drivers are wearing straps. One of the horses said to the other: "I finally know that now people don't need us anymore, now they all pull their own carts."

4, cousin recently lost love, she shut herself in the house and refused to eat to find death and life. We hadn't been out to eat all day, and we were all in a hurry, and my aunt and uncle led us to knock out the door in a hurry. The moment the door slammed open, everyone was stunned. The cousin nibbled on the chicken leg in her mouth, and lay on the bed with Erlang's leg crossed and looked at us with a frightened face. Then we silently closed the door and went back, and I couldn't help but laugh wildly.

5 On the first day of marriage, I quarreled with my wife because we both wanted money in the housekeeper. Later, for the sake of fairness, it was agreed that each would spend a month to see who would manage to save more money and who would hold the financial power in the future. The wife managed to allocate funds reasonably in a month, and the final effect was remarkable. When I managed for a month and was feeling more secure, my mother spoke: "Let your daughter-in-law manage the money, don't keep rubbing rice with me!" ”

6 I wanted to buy a new coat, but my mom disagreed, saying I had several down jackets in the closet. After saying that, the mother found the clothes. Dad quickly stopped and said: These are outdated, or buy new ones for your girlfriend! Because of this, the two had a fight and almost started to move. Later, I secretly stuffed the money in my coat pocket to my father, so that the two could reconcile!

7 Remember when I was in college, I had a roommate who looked very dark and miserable, but there was one thing he pursued fashion. Every day the beggar's pants are no different from the real beggars. Today, I went to the cafeteria with him for dinner. When you finish your meal, put the cutlery back. The buddy slipped and knelt on the ground with a bowl in front of him. When a girl saw it, she put a dollar into the bowl. The buddy got angry and said, "Look down on people! As a result, the girl quickly made up a 10 yuan in it, and then ran...

8 I went to the side of the road alone to pick up skewers, ordered two bottles of beer, and drank them coolly. There was also a buddy at the next table, and he was crying while drinking, and I asked him with concern what was wrong. He said: "My girlfriend broke up with me, we have been together for 7 years, I bought the house, I bought the car, I really can't figure why she left me!" I said to him, "Make a romantic proposal!" He looked at me strangely: "I have a wife, I'm talking about my girlfriend!" ”

9 The landlady called me to the office alone and said, "Tell you a story, a boss and secretary went on a business trip, opened two rooms after work, and the secretary sent a text message to the boss in the evening 11-9=13." The boss replied with a "good night" and then the secretary resigned the next day, do you know why? "I said I don't know. The landlady said she didn't know either. The next day, the landlady arranged for me to go on a business trip with her, and in the evening, she sent me a message, 11-9=13. I thought about it for a moment and replied with a good night.

After returning from a business trip, the landlady fired me. I was angry enough to go to her and said, "What do you mean, in the story, the employees took the initiative to resign, and you don't play your cards according to the routine!" The landlady chuckled and said, "The story is the message sent by the employee first..." I was stunned, and the order was wrong at the beginning. But I still don't understand, what is going on with 11-9=13? I know!

10 My wife went back to my mother's house, at night I slept with my son in the big bed, in the middle of the night I slept soundly, suddenly felt someone touching my feet, opened my eyes suddenly, no one! Move your feet, there's nothing around! Only then did I close my eyes in peace and feel like someone was touching my feet again? Frightened, I quickly sat up and turned on the flashlight of my phone, forehead! My son was kicked to the ground by me!

11 When I was in elementary school, my son was doing his homework in the back room. After a while, he came over and said, "Mom, I'm done with my homework, my eyelids are fighting, and I want to go to sleep." Me: "Okay, go to sleep!" Get up early in the morning. After a while, I went to see if he was asleep, and I didn't think about it, he was lying on the bed playing with his mobile phone, and I angrily said, "Aren't you fighting with your eyelids?" How to still play mobile phone? Son: "Just now it was a fight with my eyelids, I used my mobile phone to persuade them, and they stopped fighting." ”

12 Yesterday my father told me that in fact, our family is very rich, he did not tell me before because he was afraid of my pride and did not want to make progress, and now that I have grown up, it is time to tell me the truth.

I didn't believe it, my father transferred 10 million to me, and I believed it, so I took the 10 million to the 4S store to buy a car.

The test went well, and when it was time to pay, I was woken up by urine.