1, the wife is on a business trip, I and my buddies go to the suburban mountains to play, the air is fresh, the spring water is babbling, the beautiful climate wife calls me to ask me what to do? I said, "Wife, I'm in the mountains, listen, spring water."

1, the wife is on a business trip, I and my buddies go to the suburban mountains to play, the air is fresh, the spring water is babbling, the beautiful climate wife calls me to ask me what to do? I said: Wife I am in the mountains, listen quickly, the sound of spring water, envy it! The wife snorted and said: Just your lazy, still up the mountain, don't be bothered, turn off the faucet... After listening to my messy in the mountain wind... Wife, you don't know me!

2, the roadside saw an old man holding the old woman's hand in the walk, the heart suddenly surged with inexplicable warmth. White hair, so loving, suddenly felt that life has become so beautiful, can't help but stop and look at the second elder enviously. At this time, the old man said affectionately to the old lady: It is late, it is cold, don't freeze, go back! At this moment, I can't help but shed tears of emotion on the side of the road! The old lady replied: Let's go more, and when I go back, the old man won't let me come out...

3, used for 2 years Xiaomi 8 Caton seriously, intend to change a Huawei mobile phone. Yesterday I made a sumptuous meal and waited for my wife to leave work. When my wife came back, she saw the dishes on the table and asked me: Nothing to offer is either adultery or theft, say, what is the matter? I smiled and said: Daughter-in-law, I have used this mobile phone for 2 years, I feel that I can't keep up with the trend, and I want to change it. The wife said: Well, if you want to change, you can change it one step at a time. I was immediately overjoyed, who knew that my wife came to say: directly change your elderly machine!

4, rich and dangerous, the ancients said this sentence probably with some sighs! In ancient times, the poor are poor, the rich are rich, the poor turn over, generally can't turn over, strong men are "caught" to contribute to the country, either military service or military service! Often thirty years of Hedong, thirty years of Hexi, come home may not be found! Where is the opportunity to turn over? Of course, if you establish military merit and get appreciation, you can also return to your hometown. Such as the story of Mulan

5, a leader and a subordinate went fishing, fished for a long time without harvest, but the subordinates caught a lot of fish, the leader's face could not hang. The subordinates saw through his thoughts, so they patted their backs and said, "The fish here are all countrymen, and they have never seen the big world." The leader asked, "Why?" The subordinate replied, "If you have seen the great world, why are you still afraid of being received by the leaders?" ”

6, there is a rich man who is bankrupt! Say to my wife: Dear I am bankrupt, Maserati has to be replaced by Shali. The wife said: No problem. The rich man said: The house cannot be lived, and he must move away from the rich area and return to the old house in the countryside to live. The wife said: No problem! The rich man was moved to tears! The wife went on to say: Go dear, I will miss you.

7, hometown, a place where you can't find a place to support your family; In the distance, a place where you can find a way to support your family but can't make peace. Since then, there has been wandering, poetry and far away, and countless nostalgia, so the Spring Festival was born! Going home for the New Year is not an ode to nostalgia, but a helpless way home!

8, Mingyuan drove with her husband and son on the highway, because this is the first time that Mingyue drove on the highway, so she kept her head clear! After a while, her husband fell asleep with the bumps of the car. After a while, my husband woke up and asked mingyuan, "How much time did I sleep?" Before the lady could answer, her son looked at the navigator confusedly and said, "I've slept from three hundred kilometers to four hundred kilometers." Her husband thought about it and said, "Oh, I've been sleeping for 5 hours!" ”

9. IKEA is an acronym: IK is the first letter of the founder's name. E is the first letter of the name of his farm (Elmtaryd), while A is the first letter of his hometown of Agunnaryd.

10, Dayong was out on business, suddenly came home, and heard a man snoring at the door. Dayong walked away silently and sent a text message to his wife: "Divorce it!" "Then throw away the phone card and go away." Three years later they met again in a city, and the wife asked, "Why don't you quit and say goodbye?" Da Yong said the situation at that time, and his wife turned away and said lightly: "That is Ruixing's little lion."

11, the husband is out on business, suddenly came home, at the door heard a man snoring sound. The husband walked away silently and sent a text message to his wife: "Divorce! "Then throw away the phone card and go away." Three years later they met again in a city, and the wife asked, "Why don't you quit and say goodbye?" The husband said the situation at that time, and the wife turned away and said lightly, "That's Rising's little lion." ”

12, in the ward, a doctor said to a young patient: "There are two nurses, one is young and beautiful, gentle, patient, each time to nurse the patient takes at least half an hour, an old, general-looking, impatient, a few minutes to deal with a patient, which nurse do you like to see yourself?" The young patient did not hesitate: "Hey, that still needs to be said!" I would like to be a gentle and patient nurse! The doctor nodded outside the door: "Xiao Wen, you come in, this patient agreed, you can slowly give him a needle, be gentle, it doesn't matter if you prick the wrong one, you can try it a few times!" He loves a nurse like you! ”

13. When the autumn mood is getting stronger, the heart and home seem to be met by some kind of wonderful call, and the ancient and modern are connected. For the definition of "home", the most common is nothing more than a similar word as "harbor". Indeed, it describes the appearance of the monastic home quite vividly. Throughout the ages, the most chanted to the family was probably the so-called wanderer. People who leave home either have concerns for their homes or rejoice in the freedom to leave home. The distance between the heart and home, far or near.

14, I introduced a female colleague to my junior high school classmates, and the two of them went on a date on Tanabata. The next morning I asked my classmates: I also met her, what do you think of her? Student: She gives me a very quiet feeling, but compared to the girlfriends she brought, the girlfriends give me a better feeling, and I like them more. I:......