1. After work at night, I asked my daughter, "What about your father and sister-in-law?" Daughter: "They are in the house, Daddy wants to take off Auntie's skirt, Auntie doesn't want to, Daddy has to take it off, you can take a look!" ”

1. After work at night, I asked my daughter, "What about your father and sister-in-law?" Daughter: "They are in the house, Daddy wants to take off Auntie's skirt, Auntie doesn't want to, Daddy has to take it off, you can take a look!" I was shocked and quickly kicked open the bedroom door, which was empty. The daughter pointed to the kitchen: "There! "I ran to the kitchen with lightning speed and was about to get angry. I saw my husband pulling on my sister's apron and saying, "Quick, take off the apron, in our house, how can I let you cook!" ”......

2, working in the field, originally did not plan to go home, but think of the parents are old, should give them a surprise. So I took the train for more than twenty hours and called my mother, and my mother said leisurely on the other end of the phone: Oops, old man, we all forgot that we have a daughter. The two of us have traveled to Xiamen, what should you do? Can you imagine the desolation of being homeless on one's doorstep with one's luggage? "

3, the ex-boyfriend is a takeaway worker of the US group, the result is to run a red light when delivering food, was hit by a Dodge tomahawk, and became a vegetative person. I didn't want to take care of him, so I broke up with him decisively and started looking for a blind date. Today, I went on a blind date at Starbucks and arrived half an hour early. At the next table were a girl and a boy, and the boy was lecturing the girl, as if it were high school math. The problem is that the girl reads a book at a glance and stares at the boy's face. The bigger problem is that the boys also look at the girl at a glance and only care about the topic. The boy spoke seriously and was very engaged. But yes, this is the school bully,...

4. I have been single for two years, and my colleague decided to introduce my aunt's cousin to me. We met at a dessert shop, and when we got back from a blind date, I couldn't wait to call my colleague and ask him how my cousin thought of me. Colleague said: Cousin said, you look ugly at first glance, but... I asked expectantly, "But what?" He sighed and said quietly: "But if you look closely, it's better to take a first look!" "

5, today's girlfriend on the way to work saw a dog there to see people bark, but also a little chasing people. The girlfriends who rode the bikes were chased, and the girlfriends were frightened to go to the nearby supermarket to hide. After the girlfriend bought a bottle of water, she found that the dog had not left. The girlfriend complained to the supermarket owner: This stupid dog who doesn't know where it comes from! Bark when you see someone, won't bite me, right? Supermarket owner: My dog, it's okay, it doesn't bite. Girlfriend: ...?

6. The boyfriend only earned 50,000 yuan a year of part-time work, so he resigned decisively. Now he sells masks in micro-businesses, earning 500,000 yuan in just one year, a Kitiodi A8. Today my boyfriend drove me to the beach to play, and the car was running out of gas on the way. Just passing by a gas station, a gust of wind blew my boyfriend's hat away. My boyfriend stopped the car and said to me, "I'm going to pick up my hat and you're helping me cheer!" Then the boyfriend ran away. I had to shout from behind, "Come on! Come on! ”

7, with the boyfriend back to the hometown, in the village, the boyfriend urinary urgency, go to the grove convenient, I was waiting on the side of the road, there was a grandfather came, the uncle asked me: "Girl, who are you looking for in our village?" Me: "Uncle, I'll go to Li Xiaodong's house!" Just then, my boyfriend came out and I said to him, "Did this uncle say anything about your village?" Boyfriend: "This grandson who doesn't know, my neighbor" I tugged on my boyfriend's clothes to make him speak more politely, and the uncle next to him saw his boyfriend and greeted him happily: "Second grandfather, are you back?" I rely on, the rural generations are really chaotic..."

8. When I came home from work, I passed a stall selling meat sandwich steamed buns, and the sign read "The Second Best Meat Sandwich Buns in the Country". I thought it should be good, so I bought a copy, ate two bites, really hard to eat! I couldn't help but complain to the boss: "Isn't it the second most delicious food in the country, how is this flavor?" What a brag! The boss said: "I did not brag, it is indeed the second ah, delicious they are called the national brother one!" “

9, the son of a rich man is now in the first grade of elementary school, especially naughty. Once the son of a rich man skipped class to go online. Discovered by the rich, the rich are so angry that they slap it. The son covered his face and said: You, you, you actually hit me? The son thought that the rich man would twitch his lips and say guiltily: Daddy is wrong, Daddy will never be again. As a result, he slapped again, and the rich man angrily said: Lao Tzu hit you! The son cried and said: Be your son to a father who has not read romance novels, this fetus is in vain!

10, the girlfriend suddenly came back very late tonight, after coming back the hair is messy, are injured, I am anxious to ask what? Is it not to meet the bad guys bullying you. Unexpectedly, she said calmly: It is really unlucky! I was walking well in the alley just now, and a man on the other side was looking at his phone as he walked, and then the two of me slammed into each other and knocked me down. I was anxious to hear it: why didn't you find the theory, go to him to settle the account. My girlfriend hurriedly stopped me: I can't find it! I passed out! I don't know what to send. I was a little shocked after listening to it, and resolutely said: That can't work! You don't suffer losses like this? The girlfriend hurriedly said: No loss! I collapsed and woke up to find his phone under me, the brand new Apple 11 wasn't broken, I got it back! I finally put my mind at ease, and I didn't expect my girlfriend to be quite clever.

11. I took a fancy to uncle security's sister-in-law and sent uncle 2,000 yuan in red envelopes to help match. The security uncle was very efficient and immediately arranged for us to meet. After meeting her, I fell in love with her at first sight and tentatively asked her: What kind of boy do you like? Her: I love it! I sadly got up and left, and then my mouth said: Isn't it okay to be a little bit of a head?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #