The female colleague said that there was no one at home and asked me to help her do some physical work. I quickly went, and it turned out that I really went to work, her house was too messy and dirty, and it was noon when we finished cleaning up together. I'm going to

The female colleague said that there was no one at home and asked me to help her do some physical work. I quickly went, and it turned out that I really went to work, her house was too messy and dirty, and it was noon when we finished cleaning up together. I was planning to take a female colleague to dinner, but there was someone from her family, a man, I thought it was her husband, and it turned out to be a cousin. I was somewhat dissatisfied in my heart, wasn't it in vain to work all morning? We had planned to eat first and then go for a walk in the grove, but now it's all gone. My cousin looked at me and said, "Brother-in-law, you're sweating profusely, what's going on here?" "Brother-in-law? From the way he called me, I felt that the man's identity was suspicious, and I asked him, "Who are you?" The cousin said: "Brother-in-law, you don't even know me, I am her cousin, not too early out of the five clothes, when we went to high school, we talked!" "Good guy, what a cousin, it's clearly an ex-boyfriend." The female colleague whispered: "I was afraid that you were busy, so I wanted to ask him to come and help, after all, they were real relatives, I didn't expect him to be free, so I was..." I was angry at once, and I was a substitute for doing housework. I was trying to leave in anger, but my female colleague stopped me and said, "Brother, you are stupid, you are gone now, is it cheaper than others!" "I felt like she was right, so I planned to stay and play with my cousin to cook. Well, I don't give in easily.

2. I didn't hear the alarm clock this morning, I was late for a minute, I couldn't eat breakfast, and rushed to the company. At my regular meeting in the morning, I grumbled with hunger and thought about all kinds of food. Just when the manager asked me by name: What about you? I blurted out and said directly: I want a big bowl of beef noodles.

3. There is a new noodle restaurant downstairs in the community, and the hostess looks very beautiful and is my favorite type. In order to win her favor, I would go to her every time I invited. Today, I deliberately asked my friend out loud in front of her: Do you know why you have been here to eat? The landlady looked at me and smiled shyly. At this time, the friend replied with drunkenness: I know, you are poor now! When you have money, take your brothers to the big restaurant, and never use it again.

4. The little uncle's driver's license is in hand, implying fairness: Dad, our family does not have a car to drive! The father-in-law immediately understood, and squeezed the cigarette: how big a deal, look at what will make you worried! The next day, the father-in-law took the little uncle to the banquet, and the father-in-law toasted to everyone during the banquet, saying: Today is a rare gathering, everyone let go of drinking, there is a car to let go, my son does not drink, I specially brought him here, let him drive you back!

5. Picked up a Huawei Met30 phone yesterday, 5G version! I spent money to find someone to unlock the lock and found that the phone album was full of selfies. The girl is beautiful and in super shape! I felt like I had fallen in love. So I dialed my sister's number written on my phone and told her: "I picked up a mobile phone and hope to see the owner of the mobile phone return it to her!" "It didn't take long for the other party to meet me at the café. Then I was nervous and excited to see this one hundred and eighty pound girl...

6. There is no money to eat, trick the son into asking the mother-in-law! I said to my son: "Son, do you want to eat hairy crabs, you and your grandmother want 1,000 pieces, let's buy 10 Yangcheng Lake hairy crabs to taste!" After a while, the son came back with a cloth pocket and said, "Take it yourself." I asked, "Take what?" My son said, "Grandma said to give you a hammer." "Me:"

7. Grandpa gave me the blue and white porcelain worn by the clan to inherit, and the next day I sold it for 48 million. I took the money to buy a Rolls-Royce and went alone for a drink to celebrate. At the bar, I met a pretty looking girl. We always had endless common topics until three o'clock in the morning. The girl yawned and said, "So sleepy, I'm going to sleep." I said, "Have a good dream and dream of me!" Girl: "You're so contradictory. ”

8. My wife got along well with a greasy uncle who drove Nissan Touring because the toyota Lightning was too weak. My mother looked at me single and was very pitiful, so she asked someone to introduce me to an object. Today I met with the girl, and after understanding the basic situation with her, I entered the cold state. She suddenly asked me: What are your specialties? In the spirit of foodie, I said quietly: I can take the bill to eat the specialty. Then, we went to the food street hand in hand happily...

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #