I have experienced a lot in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and I can clearly see as a mother-in-law or grandmother. However, after all, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are two people who are not related by blood, and it is understandable that the relationship is not good.
However, as a child's grandmother or grandmother, shouldn't all the old people love their children and grandchildren, and their mouths are also chanting every day: how is my eldest grandson, my grandson I love the most, and so on.
But is this really the case in real life?
Example 1: AiWu and Wu, who are also grandsons, are treated differently
My friend Ah Yue, her husband's two brothers, because the younger brother got married early, so the child was born relatively early, when she married in, the mother-in-law was helping the younger son with the child.
The mother-in-law originally gave the marriage room for the eldest son to marry also gave it to the younger son, Ah Yue had to live in the mother-in-law's home, fortunately, the mother-in-law's family is also big, the family lives together and does not feel congested, and the mother-in-law is in the younger son's house during the day, and only comes back at night, Ah Yue feels that such a life is also very good.
After more than a year of marriage, Ah Yue was pregnant to the last month, the family discussed, confinement let the mother-in-law come back to help, but the mother-in-law always had no time to take the child to shirk, Ah Yue is living in the in-laws' home, it is impossible to let the mother's mother come, and the mother's mother also has her own affairs.
Finally, Ah Yue's mother-in-law said that she would come back with her eldest grandson to take care of her little grandson.
In just one month, Ah Yue could clearly see her mother-in-law's "love house and Wu". When she first got married, her mother-in-law always said in front of Ah Yue that she hurt her eldest son, and even the marriage room was prepared for the eldest son, because the eldest son did not want to get married, so that his brother took the lead, and there was no way to give the house to the younger son.
But the mother-in-law said that the house was given to the younger son, and she would definitely hurt Ah Yue's children more. Now that the child is about to be born, the mother-in-law is not even willing to take care of the confinement, is this the care of the eldest son and daughter-in-law, the care of the child?
In the month, the younger son's 2-year-old child also slapped his brother, saying that his brother knew to cry all day, and all this mother-in-law did not say anything in her eyes, but said that the child was small and did not understand things, so that Ah Yue did not care.
Throughout the month, every morning the mother-in-law will first get the eldest grandson's breakfast, and then get the Ah Yue breakfast, sometimes take the eldest grandson out for breakfast, and then drag until 10 o'clock to bring breakfast back to Ah Yue.
Regarding lunch and snacks, Ah Yue has never been treated preferentially, everyone eats what Ah Yue eats, and is really hungry and can only order takeaway.
Well, the mother-in-law does not know how to take care of the daughter-in-law Yuezi for the time being, but the same grandson, the mother-in-law is as "snubbed" as Ah Yue's child, even a bath has not helped to wash, it is the child's father who got it after work, the mother-in-law said that the eldest grandson who took a day, the waist can not stand up straight, and really can not do other things.
Well, when the confinement invites relatives to come to dinner, the mother-in-law has been holding the baby in her hand, talking to relatives about how the child is, and she is bringing up and bringing small, as if the little grandson is her hand with a full moon.
Relatives looked at her two grandchildren in the family and asked her which one she hurt, she said that they were all her own grandchildren, and where there was pain, they were all the same, but the eldest son hurt more when he was a child.
Listening to her mother-in-law say this, Ah Yue felt in her heart, is this not a hint that there are more children who hurt her eldest son, and she can really say that the number of times the whole month has been held by the child, ten fingers are not counted.
Example 2: Grandparents only hurt their aunt's cousin
A few days ago the neighbor children came to my side to play, I asked her why she did not go to her grandparents' house for the New Year, she said that she did not like to go to her grandparents' house, because grandparents only hurt their cousins, and they were reluctant to take out the delicious food, saying that those were eaten by their cousins.
Before hearing the child's mother said, the child's grandmother hurts the daughter more than the son, his grandson used to play and smiled and giggled to greet, but also called "grandma's baby", never knew what the grandson loves to eat, nor did he care about what the child ate, and the daughter's child used to ask the child what he liked to eat, the grandmother bought it for you, and then the complex dishes can be made with heart.
These actions of the old man are in the eyes of adults, but it is not easy to say clearly, but even the children can see that their grandmother does not hurt herself, and the pain is so painful that she is the cousin of the aunt's family, which cannot be said.
Why are these situations happening?
Most of this happens in families with more than two children, if there is only one child, this situation will not occur, when there are more children, the elderly will definitely have a preference for the one, but even if they know which one they prefer, they will not say it clearly, and they will not admit it.
It hurts to talk about it, but it doesn't keep up with it
Many elderly people claim to hurt their grandchildren, but at home they are a look, grandchildren, grandchildren are actually "superfluous" for them, because they themselves do not have enough time to "play", such as square dancing, tourism, etc.
However, for the sake of face, they will not tell people outside, they will just say that they hurt the child.
Got the "salary"
Some elderly people originally had their own jobs, but the daughter-in-law had to go to work and could not take care of the children, so let the old man come to help, although the old man was given a "salary", but for the old man, this is not willing.
But after all, this is also his own grandson, it is impossible to be a stranger completely, but it is impossible to pay more "love", so in front of others, he said that he hurt his grandson, in order to take care of him, the things in his hometown have not given up.
Love only yourself
Some old people don't know how to think, in their world, it is estimated that there is only themselves, even if they are only sons and only grandchildren, they are not welcome in their eyes.
Such elderly people may be accustomed to living alone and have no thought of helping with children. However, in front of outsiders, they will behave very painfully to their grandson, after all, they are such a grandson. Seeing that the child did not kiss him, and then saying that this child, a white-eyed wolf.
Having said all this, what Abuti wants to say is that children are actually like small animals, and they all know who really treats them.
If you only do well on the surface and are not good for your children in private, then don't ask your children how much respect they can have for you in front of others.
However, although there are such old people, fortunately there are not many, I believe that more old people still love their grandchildren very much.
At last
Their own children, have the ability or bring their own, don't be too extravagant for the elderly at home, they also have their own living space!