I just had appendix surgery, and a small nurse was responsible for changing the dressing and giving injections during the hospital observation period. Close-fitting coat slender figure flesh-colored stockings, wearing a mask to expose the double Dan phoenix eyes, elegant and not losing sexy, every time she appears in front of me, it makes me feel excited, unconsciously remembering the romantic bridge in the love movie, the monotonous tone of the hospital, in my eyes have become pink.
One day the little nurse angrily came to my bedside and asked, "Why are you complaining about me?" He also said to our director, if you don't let me enter your ward again, what did I do wrong? This month's bonus for this month also failed. ”
I said with a real and fake floor face: "Blame you for being so beautiful, every time I see you nervous, the wound of the appendix surgery will definitely collapse, once or twice, even if it is three times a day, who can stand it, other nurses ask for money for my service, you serve me, it is fatal!" Are you supposed to compensate me? ”
Hearing me say this, the little nurse's Dan Feng's eyes were bent with a smile and asked me softly: "Then you say, how do you want me to pay?" ”
I frowned and said, "It's better to stay with me for the rest of my life!" ”
Now, I have been properly compensated and she has become the mother of my child!
2 When the car was running out of gas when I got off the highway, I said to my wife: "Do you believe it or not, we go to the service area of the exit to refuel, and we can leave without giving money?" Naturally, the wife did not believe it. After refueling in the service area, I said to the staff: "I didn't bring money, ask your webmaster to come and see what to do?" After a while, a young man came over, and as soon as he saw me, he said helplessly to the staff: "Let him go, that is my old uncle Lai, I will pay for the oil." ”
3 The wife accidentally saw that her husband had a "wife" stored in her mobile phone, but the number was not her. She didn't want a divorce, so she called back to her husband behind her back, hoping to save the relationship. When the phone was connected, the voice of a stout, mature male uncle came, and she cried, feeling that she had been deceived more seriously. But what she didn't know was that there was another class of people in the world, and their surname was Po.
4 The man sneaked into a rich man's house in the middle of the night, knocked the man unconscious with a wooden stick, and then carried out a crazy sweep, and when he was about to leave, he suddenly heard the bathroom shouting: "I'm washing, you come in!" So the man moved evil thoughts and rushed into the bathroom, the man can never forget, in the bathroom, his wife saw his surprised expression.
5 My sister was working as a nurse in the hospital, and when the company had a physical examination, she happened to be in their hospital. When I drew blood, I deliberately asked my sister to draw because I was fat and my blood vessels were not easy to find. Sure enough, my sister didn't find a blood vessel for half a day. I was just being happy when my sister suddenly slapped me the arm like crazy. When I finished drawing blood, I found that the colleagues in the queue behind me were gone, and the window of another nurse in the whole row went.
6 The cousin was very beautiful and had very good luck marrying a big boss. Yesterday, when I wasn't at work, I asked my cousin to go to the restaurant for dinner. Just after eating for a while, my cousin said to me: Cousin, I signed up for a training class, and I will not worry about my husband thinking that my cooking is not delicious. Me: That's pretty good, isn't it training in cooking? My cousin said: Of course not, it is training taekwondo.
7 I took over the position of my predecessor and became an honorable editor. The seniors walked in great pain, and when they were cremated, they still faked the corpse, and kept shouting that they were not dead. In the end, it was tied with iron chains and burned for 3 days and 3 nights. The memorial service played a good day, the family was very strong, and none of them cried. It was very windy that day, and the car was overturned while transporting the urns. The urn shattered, and just as I was about to pick up the urn, a sprinkler truck came!
8 At the bus stop, I met a beautiful woman with long hair and fluttering hair, which made my heart flutter. I couldn't resist the restlessness in my heart, and plucked up the courage to talk to the beautiful woman: Beauty, can I ask you about a place? Beauty looked at me and smiled and said, "Yes." I asked: How can I get into your heart? The beauty pointed to a luxury car and said to me: The road is very far away, see the car opposite? You need this car to get to your destination. I accepted this reality cruelly and drove away from the car opposite.
The in-laws, who are over 9 years old and over 50 years old, decided to practice trumpet and went to the hospital for IVF surgery. I felt very curious, so I asked my mother-in-law: Mom, you are so old, why do you have to have a second child! The mother-in-law said: I see that many people around me have given birth to a second child. I suddenly realized: So you are also moved?? The mother-in-law shook her head: No, let me tell you the truth, I am mainly blind to those months of maternity leave.
10 When the neighbor Lao Wang was arrested by the police, I asked Lao Wang's daughter-in-law, "Sister-in-law, why was Brother Wang arrested?" The sister-in-law said: "It is unlucky, this morning he went out for morning exercise, and saw a flower rope in the grass pile on the side of the road, which was very beautiful, he thought it might be useful, so he picked it up." Me: "So you won't be arrested?" Sister-in-law: "Alas, there is a cow tied behind the rope!" ”
11 Went to the home of the online girlfriend to meet the parents, felt that nothing was a little rude, and bought some fruit at the roadside fruit stall.
After the stall owner installed it, I didn't feel enough scales, so I took out my mobile phone and put it on his electronic scale.
Bottle of 220g! I asked angrily, "Didn't you say the foot scale?" My phone is about 155 grams, how come you have 220g on the scale? Difference of tens of grams! ”
The stall owner calmly asked me, "How much memory does your phone have?" ”
I said, "64g of RAM, what's wrong?" ”
The stall owner explained: "Your mobile phone is 155g, plus 64g of memory, isn't it almost 220 grams?" ”
I think about it, and I'm right!
#年度搞笑名场面 #
![A patient with sciatica used a tonic formula to help him get rid of his troubles Remember one day, a patient with sciatica came to me, and he came to me with a limp. He sighed[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)