After living with a divorced landlady for half a year, she gave me a house as compensation after breaking up with me. I lived alone in a big house and was particularly lonely, so I found a beautiful woman to share. She's one

After living with a divorced landlady for half a year, she gave me a house as compensation after breaking up with me. I lived alone in a big house and was particularly lonely, so I found a beautiful woman to share. She's a female anchor, and I often watch her live. On this day, the beauty said in the live broadcast: I am going to move tomorrow, and I can't broadcast it live. When I heard this news, I panicked, can't I see beautiful women in the future? So I immediately ran to knock on the door to confess, but I didn't expect the beauty to agree! I asked her where she was going, and I wanted to go too, and the beauty said, "Isn't it upstairs?" The floor is high and the light is a little better.

2. I started a company and recently took two able-bodied businessmen on a business trip to Shanghai to talk about business. Because of limited funds, I couldn't go to the hotel to eat and drink, and one day, I asked Xiao Wang to buy three box lunches and a roast chicken. After returning, Xiao Wang and Xiao Li each preemptively broke a chicken leg. The next day they bought three more box lunches and a roast chicken, and they still preemptively took the chicken legs in their hands. On the third day I said, "Little King, can't you buy a chicken with only three legs?" Xiao Wang laughed: "Boss, where is the three-legged chicken!" ”

3. Our branch is in Shanghai, and a new person who comes to work drives a Porsche 918 to work every day. One day the regional manager couldn't stand it anymore and called him to the office and said, "Young man, don't be too ostentatious, keep a low profile!" The newcomer nodded solemnly: "Okay, boss, I remember!" "As a result, the next day, the goods were directly replaced by a walk-behind tractor to work..... He said: "This is already the cheapest drunk and low-key car he can think of!" ”

4. I worked at Samsung last year and had a very good relationship with my colleagues. One day, a colleague asked me: If your boss loses his temper with you, what will you do? Me: I'll turn around and turn my back on my boss. The colleague was surprised: And then left angrily? I looked at the boss behind my colleague and said: No, turn your back on the boss, face the wall, and then think about the wall!

5. The sister-in-law is 32 years old this year, originally a flight attendant, and then resigned to stay at home and eat old. The mother-in-law asked the matchmaker to introduce her to many objects, and none of them could succeed after meeting. This is not another blind date back, the mother-in-law bao complained: How many times have you said that you have been blind dated, none of them have been achieved, can you let me save dim sum no? Sister-in-law: Oh, where there is, I just ordered eight dishes, try them generous or not! Mother-in-law: Do you still have a face to say? Eight dishes can you not eat all of them don't you? Those who know that you are blind date, those who do not know think that you are rice trays!

6. My father-in-law has been retired for many years and has a retirement salary of more than 8,000 yuan per month. Every day in addition to eating is sleeping, resulting in a fatmer and fatter body. My father-in-law went to the weight loss center to lose weight, and the mentor said to him: If you run eight kilometers a day and run for three hundred consecutive days, you can lose 34 kilograms. A year later, the mentor received a call from his father-in-law, who had lost so much weight, but he also added a problem. The teacher asked him curiously what the problem was, and the father-in-law said: I have now left my hometown for two thousand four hundred kilometers.

7. My sister-in-law gave birth to a second child, which made my brother very bad. Every day during the day, at night, the little girl's habitual sleep has to be wrapped to sleep, as soon as I put it down, I wake up and cry... Mom said to my brother: It's okay to let her cry twice, cry tired and fall asleep! My brother is willing to cry, in the middle of the night three more wrapped the little girl in the room back and forth, really sleepy on the sofa squint will ... ... My mother shook her head and sighed: those who wear long pants are also bullied by those who wear diapers! ay!

8. Fa Xiao is a high-achieving student at Peking University and knows a lot of things, so I asked him what would not be difficult for him. I asked him: Why do you know so much? Fa Xiao said triumphantly: I didn't do anything in college, and I squatted in the library every day to read books, so I knew a little more. I couldn't help but give him a thumbs up and say: You're awesome! He shook his head helplessly and said, "Hey, if you can have a relationship to talk about, who would go to the library when you're fine?"

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