1. Just entered the company and fell in love with the female leader, the female leader said to me on her birthday: "You kiss me, I will give you a thousand." I said happily, "Talk counts?" The female leader nodded, and I happily went up and hugged it and kissed it twenty times. The female leader was angry: "Let you kiss it, how did you kiss it so much?" I can only give you the money to kiss it!" I slapped her angrily and said, "How do you talk doesn't count, you're stupid?" Now what to do, for the sake of integrity, I seem to have lost all my career love!
2. This afternoon, when I was taking the bus out, a small child accidentally stepped on my foot. I looked at the child who looked so cute that I wanted to tease the child. I said, "Little friend, you have stepped on someone else's foot, what should you say?" The little boy thought for a moment and said, "Uncle, the teacher said that when sitting, your legs should not stretch so long." "I grew up so big, the first time I was taught by a child, I was speechless...
3. I finally lived with my girlfriend last night, and when I woke up the next day, I hugged her and looked at her carefully for half a day, asking her how she took off her makeup and why it was different from usual. My girlfriend shyly threw herself into my arms and told me that you have eaten instant noodles for so many years, don't you know that the packaging pattern is for reference only???
4. Seventy-year-old upstarts have a son and a daughter and live happily ever after. Once the upstart was playing with his mobile phone, and his daughter suddenly ran over and asked: Dad, is it that when I grow up, you will die? The upstart wondered how this child suddenly felt so much sentimentality? So he hugged her and replied softly: Yes, my baby grows up, marries, and has his own family, and his father will be old and dead. Then the girl suddenly asked: Then who did you give your mobile phone to, give it to me or give it to my brother?
5. The night before the middle school entrance examination, the little nephew played a game in the Internet café, which caused him to play abnormally in the middle school entrance examination, and he was only admitted to the high school of the bottom brother in the provincial ranking. The sister-in-law counted the nephew down for a day, and almost didn't find a seam to drill into, and the nephew felt that something was wrong, because my brother used to scold him a lot. The next morning my sister-in-law began to count down my nephew again, and my nephew died of grievance, at this time, my brother said to my sister-in-law:, it's almost enough, after all, now my son is my high school brother!
6. I spent 5,000 yuan to buy a wall-mounted air conditioner with various forces. Today the installation master came to install the air conditioner, they could not find where my home was, asked me for directions. Because I couldn't say the right or left side of the road for a while, the master was very anxious and urged me to hurry. I said anxiously, "The hand you are writing with is turning in the direction of it." The wife laughed and said, "What if the family is left-handed?" ”
7. Some time ago, a rich second-generation friend asked a few of our poor friends to go to a high-end restaurant for dinner. The waiter came up and said: We are drunk in the private room and consume 2000 yuan! Fu Er Dai said: Take the menu over, 20 yuan a piece of potato shreds, give me 100 plates, don't want anything else! After a while, the manager came over: Bao Apologize, your dishes should be slowed down, the chef has gone to buy potatoes...
8. I found out that the president and the female assistant were ambiguous, and the president was afraid that the matter would be revealed, so he fired me. After I lost my job, I stayed home and didn't find a job. My daughter-in-law asked me to beat the wheat field in the house to kill the herb. After returning home from the pesticide, the daughter-in-law asked: How many pots of medicine have been sprayed. I said: After six watering cans, the wheat field used five watering cans to find the remaining ground, and mixed another pot, planning to go home and feel that most of the remaining watering can medicine was poured out, so I sprayed the bean field next to it. The daughter-in-law exploded when she heard it: What? You sprayed my bean field too, I hit you, you don't run.
#Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #年度搞笑名场面 #
A wave of wonderful GIFs to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
