1, just rode a bicycle accidentally hit a sister, quickly got out of the car and rushed over, saw the sister looked like a goddess and said: "Rest assured that I will raise you for a lifetime." The girl looked up at my face, stubborn

1, just rode a bicycle accidentally hit a sister, quickly got out of the car and rushed over, saw the sister looked like a goddess and said: "Rest assured that I will raise you for a lifetime." The girl looked up at my face, stubbornly got up from the ground and said, "I'm fine, you hurry up." "Looking at the limping figure of the sister, there are still many good people."

2, today I don't know how, has been hiccups, just a person went downstairs to eat dinner in a fast food restaurant, sitting opposite a man of five big and three thick, I burped while eating, suddenly, sitting opposite me the man slammed the table, glaring at me, I was shocked, thinking that I did not rob his girlfriend ah? After looking at each other for ten seconds, I broke out in a cold sweat, and I was definitely not his opponent in the fight! One arm is thicker than both of our arms! And then the big brother said, hiccup okay, right?

3, the girlfriend asked her boyfriend to accompany her shopping, the boyfriend was very impatient and asked: "Why do you like shopping so much?" The girlfriend asked, "Then I also ask you a question, is it the caged chicken expensive, or the free-range chicken expensive?" The boyfriend blurted out: "Of course, it is expensive to go to the ground, then you still need to ask!" At this time, the girlfriend said satisfactorily: "That's right, a woman who can go shopping is noble!"

4, women treat men like flying kites, know how to put away freely, and don't panic if the line is broken. Which kite with a broken line has a good ending. Either hanging on the treetops, hanging on a high-pressure line, or falling to the ground and being stepped on, if not, it is ascension.

5. The president chatted about the paragraph: The Arab student sent an email to his father: "Dad, Berlin is a good place." The people here are friendly. But I was a little embarrassed to go to school. Everyone else took the subway to school, so I drove a pure gold Mercedes. Dad wrote back: "Son, I transferred $200 million to you." Don't embarrass me, hurry up and buy a subway! ”

6, the neighbor sister is a high-achieving student who goes to school in Tsinghua, usually she will come home from vacation to give me make-up lessons. Once I was eating watermelon and got cold, and I threw up a big piece of it. I had just finished vomiting and squatted on the ground before I got up, and the neighbor's little sister was just coming to my house. Just when I entered the door to see this scene, I held out my hand to her with difficulty, meaning that she would help me. Only to see her turn her head and run, while running and shouting: Come on people, so-and-so is not OK, vomiting blood, a lot of blood!!

7, this private salt shop is relatively deserted, the owner is weighing, divided into piles. At that time, as long as private families paid fees to the government, they could obtain "citations", that is, approval slips, purchase and sell salt at designated locations, but the sale of salt was absolutely prohibited in the bustling area. No matter how crazy the price of the Northern Song Dynasty was, the price of salt was relatively stable, and the price of salt during the Chongning period was 40 yuan per catty

8. I have a high school teacher. In the last class before the New Year, I talked about a difficult knowledge point, and the students would be able to do it, so when I finished school, I was very relieved to say, you understand, I can go with confidence... Looking back, it seemed a little unlucky, so I said, I mean, I can leave with confidence... I felt wrong again, and I was trying to explain, but I didn't expect this group of rabbit cubs to say in unison, Teacher, don't say it, you can go with peace of mind!

9, drunk in the middle of the night, I saw that my wife was asleep, and the breathing sound was charming. Thinking that she usually beat and scolded me, I held back all my strength, kicked her under the bed, and then scolded with great anger: you! Lao Tzu is a man with a wife and children! Then he turned his head back and pretended to sleep. The next morning, the wife endured the pain, not only did not blame last night's drunkenness, but also brought steaming milk!

10, a colleague of the company stalked me, chased after me, boyfriend vinegar hair, I helpless: "Blame me? He had to pestered me, and I couldn't help it! The boyfriend flashed a hint of murder in his eyes and said indignantly: "Well, starting tomorrow, you are not allowed to wear makeup for three days to go to work!" ”

11. The courier brother stood at the door of the office and shouted: "Which one is called the father-in-law?" The people in the office laughed, and Lu would meet the red ears and walk over, take the courier and throw it on the table. Indignantly said: "No culture is terrible!" I want to complain to the seller, absolutely bad reviews! ”

12, the father and mother divorced because of the concept of consumption is not in line. Some time ago my wedding room to be renovated, my mother let me accompany her to choose the floor, I did not have time, let my father pass, the boss asked: "Is it a composite floor or a solid wood floor?" Dad asked Mom, "Compound?" Mom: "Hmm! compound! "I came home and saw their compound certificate dumbfounded...

13, on weekends off, I went to my sister's house for dinner, and after the meal I took an imported large mango to eat. I was about to peel it off, and my hand slipped into the bucket. Suddenly I felt loveless, and stared at the trash can in a daze with mixed feelings. The little nephew came over and reached out to pick it up and handed it to me: Uncle, I helped you pick it up, and eat it fresh! I...... This bear child is really sensible, and it is not okay not to beat up a reward........

14. Before marriage, my sister made dumplings with my brother-in-law on a whim, and after eating a bite of my brother-in-law's tears, my sister asked, "What's wrong?" The brother-in-law said, "I tasted my mother." The sister said happily, "Really? The brother-in-law said, "Really, I remember that when my mother was young, she once wrapped a meal of dumplings for us with grass fed to rabbits as a dish." ”