1, those so-called rich and handsome driving a luxury car can deceive the beauty of half a year or even a year of youth, and for the poor boys to spend two-thirds of the coffin for you to buy a house, you do not hear

1, those so-called rich and handsome to drive a luxury car can deceive the beauty of half a year or even a year of youth, and for the poor boys to spend two-thirds of the coffin for you to buy a house, you do not care. For the second type of guy, I just want to say four words to you: Please contact me.

2, friends male, new year home as usual is asked to talk about the object is not, friends are asked every year, annoyed. This year, when I went back to the seventh aunt and asked if there was an object, the friend returned with a happy face: "Yes." He was asked again, "How is the object, how do you know him?" Shyly replied, "My object is very good to me, I met two in the bathhouse, picking up soap."

3, just about to leave work, a colleague suddenly pulled me to say that he may be rich today, to call me to drink. I was wondering, he said that his left eyelid was always jumping, and he had been jumping for a day. After eating, he dragged me to the lottery shop opposite, bought a 500 yuan scratch music, and did not win a single one after scraping. I was puzzled, he suddenly said: This is good, the eyelids do not jump...

4, work reasons, more than a year at home. After returning home, I found that my daughter, who was in the kindergarten class, had developed some bad habits, and under my repeated criticism and education, my daughter pushed my small suitcase to me and said to me: "Daddy, you go, our family doesn't want you anymore." I usually don't want to fight, and I can't fight today...

5. Tonight, I went to Haidilao with my husband for dinner and met his ex-girlfriend!? Don't you say that her figure is outstanding, and she is most importantly dressed in a brand-name product!? Before going to bed at night, I teased my husband: "Did you give up such a white rich beauty and finally marry me because I was more attractive than her?" At this time, the husband lit a cigarette afterwards, thought about it and replied: "Oh, you think too much, because beautiful women are not suitable for wives, so I married you!?"

6, the girlfriend's father is a physical education teacher, I don't know how to talk about the time when I used to play. I saw that their interest was quite high, so I carefully talked about dunks, shots, and three points. Later, the mother-in-law pointed at me and said to the old man: This child is exactly the same as when you were young. I was surprised: My uncle used to love to play basketball? Old man: No, I used to be like you, so much!

7, a few days ago and a few buddies chatted, talked about the most embarrassing things, I have to talk about it. Once, I sent my classmates to the train station, and I saw a female high school classmate in the ticket hall. I said to my friend, "See that girl?" She had a crush on me, but I turned it down. The friend was very surprised, and then calmly shouted to my classmate: "Cousin, you come here..."

8, netizens: Li Ka-shing said: A dress was put on by me, 80% of people said that it is beautiful, then I will definitely buy it; a business opportunity was met by me, 80% of people said that they can do it, then I will never do it. I firmly believe in the 2/8 law of the world, why is 80% of the world poor and 20% of the rich? Because 20% of people do things that others can't understand, and 80% of people won't stick to the right choice.

9, I suggest that girls should popularize the wear of flat shoes do not wear high heels, high heels worn for a long time is easy to foot pain and cause flat feet, knee diseases, thumb valgus, low back diseases and other diseases. Of course, I definitely didn't suggest that because I was only 155 tall.

10, I am a programmer at Microsoft, with a monthly salary of 8,000 yuan. The beauty front desk who has a crush on our company has been for a long time. She was sitting across from me at noon today for a free working meal in the restaurant. I was nervous, and she suddenly asked me with a big face: Do you like me? Me: I like it. She said: Fart! You prove it to me. I was embarrassed to refuse, I could only hold out a loud fart.....

11, I want to open a noodle restaurant, and told the old man about this idea. The old man listened to it and thought it was very good, so he gave me a million yuan to support me, my senior student, this year's twenty-four, the new year's second aunt wants to find me a partner, ask me like the virtuous or beautiful? My thoughts instantly drifted to ten years ago, when a relative asked me, "Do you want to go to Tsinghua or Peking University in the future?" "It turns out that Tsinghua Peking University has no half-cent relationship with me, and it is good to have a university." Now looking for a partner is still virtuous and beautiful, and it is a woman.

12, when I was a child, my brother took me on a bicycle. It was cold, I said cold, so my brother started pedaling. The wind is getting stronger. I asked, "Brother, what are you doing?" The wind was blowing me down. The brother turned his head to look at me and said to me: "Yesterday the teacher just taught, rubbing generates heat, I am faster, your face can rub and generate heat, you see, your face is now hot and red." "Brother, that's frozen red!"

13, in the KTV after work home, just out of the elevator legs suddenly cramped. I struggled to the door of my house, and then I was so hurt that I had no strength, and I fell to my knees and waited for it to get better. At this time, the eldest brother who was opposite my family suddenly opened the door and came out and saw this scene. The eldest brother squatted down and whispered: When your daughter-in-law is angry, she also makes you kneel outside to apologize and admit your mistakes? I..... I don't know if I'm going to gossip or explain first!

14, originally just went home for the New Year, did not expect to pass half a year. I want to press the fast forward button to see what happens to us in June. The most frightening thing is that the beginning of the school is graduation, and graduation is unemployment, seamless docking. Friends who have been together for four years, go back to school and see each other again, they will have to run their own things! Where are the good graduation photos, the good graduation dinner, the good graduation trip?