Traveling to a hotel, at more than one o'clock in the morning, suddenly a woman came knocking on the door. She was fashionably dressed and beautiful, and I yawned and asked her if she was looking for me for anything? She smiled and said

Traveling to a hotel, at more than one o'clock in the morning, suddenly a woman came knocking on the door. She was fashionably dressed and beautiful, and I yawned and asked her if she was looking for me for anything? She smiled and said, I'm right next door to you, I'm hungry and want to go out for a late night snack, but it's now more than 1 o'clock in the morning and I want you to accompany me. This beautiful woman must have wanted me to spend money to entertain, really want to be beautiful, I said, you still have to go to someone else. After saying that, I closed the door and went to bed.

2 When I was a junior, I bought a lottery ticket and actually won 5 million! After completing the formalities, there were still 4 million in hand, and I did not tell anyone about this. At that time, the house was not expensive, I spent 1 million to buy a house, 800,000 to buy a car. But I also wanted to reduce the burden on my parents, so I opened an account at the bank and deposited 1.5 million in it. The rest of the money was stored in the bank, and suddenly, the alarm clock went off. Alas, another dream, too much to drink last night, a bit of nonsense.

3 Today my daughter-in-law worked overtime, I went to pick up my son to go home, and when I arrived at the door of the kindergarten, my son saw me and shouted at me: Dad, I am here. I quickly walked to my son, and at this time the son took a little girl's hand and said to me: Dad, this is the daughter-in-law I found for you, we are married today, which also makes the little girl call me "Daddy"

4 The eldest brother and sister-in-law met at a bar, and when they woke up the next day, they slept in the same bed and established a relationship. The eldest brother took his sister-in-law home for the first time, his father went on a business trip, I accompanied my mother, and everyone chatted very well. After eating and chatting together, my mother tentatively asked my brother the eternal scripture: "I fell into the water with your wife, who will you save first?" When the sister-in-law heard this, she immediately smiled and replied, "I will definitely save you first!" The eldest brother listened, nodded vigorously, and then said, "Yes, I must save you first!" The old mother smiled, the smile was a little meaningful, and said: "Sure enough, I listened to my daughter-in-law!" ”

5 Friends kill pigs, invite us to dinner, did not find a place to kill pigs. Let's talk about trying it ourselves! So seven or eight people tied the pig with all hands and feet, and the friend accidentally cut off the rope when he stabbed the pig in the neck with a knife! The pig kicked the rope two or three times before it was released. Then Pig Hao screamed and rushed out of the gate, the pig just ran out of the gate and let a truck crash to death, the truck driver got out of the car sweating and nodded at us, and then handed a cigarette and said: "Big brother! I have eight hundred dollars on me, and it's not easy for you to see me, so forget it! ”

6 Some time ago, my wife went to a classmate party, and when I came back, I was sullen and unhappy, and after asking, I learned that there was an old classmate who taunted my wife at the party and was fat. My wife has been clamoring for weight loss since that day. That day I was eating a fragrant meal, and I saw my daughter-in-law suddenly put down her chopsticks, look at me with glowing eyes, look at my hair straight, and ask her what was wrong. The daughter-in-law sighed, picked up the chopsticks again and said: I see that I can't lose weight successfully, you look at you, eating is like grabbing food, a glance is particularly appetite, I want to lose weight, unless I take you off first...

7 My wife was recently hooked on group chat, and I built a group two days ago to pull me in. The group was full of her mother's family, and I rarely spoke in the group. Early this morning, the sister-in-law was in the family group and said, "I am ready to get married on the first of October." I asked, "Haven't you been talking for a long time?" How did you get married so quickly? Sister-in-law: "Brother-in-law, what do you mean when you don't want to get married so quickly?" "I just wanted to explain, don't be deceived, before the words can be typed, I was kicked out of the group by my wife."

8 Walk the dog downstairs in the community. When I was tired, I sat by the wall and fed cookies to my dog. As a result, the biscuit fell outside the iron fence, and the dog stuck its head out, biting the biscuit and getting stuck. Another dog who didn't know where to drill out of nowhere got stuck in the biscuit head. Then I also stuck my head out... Also stuck... At this time, the owner of another dog came over and said: They are dogs, even if they are dogs, why don't you pick them up by hand.

9 The son took a piece of broken paper and said to me, "Daddy, I have a treasure map, I will give it to you, will you give me 10 yuan?"

I took a look at it and said, "Isn't that what you painted our family, how can it be called a treasure map, and give me 10 yuan."

Son: "Daddy, look at the place where you draw with red pen." I took a closer look, under the couch, under the table...

I leaned on, this bunny cub, this is where I hid my money, I quickly said to my son, "So, baby, I'll give you 50 yuan."

10 When I was in college, the school canteen was particularly poor, and I often didn't have enough to eat. While we were eating today, a brother brought us a salted fish to eat. I asked: Could it have been stolen? He said: Rest assured that eating will definitely not be! After eating, I asked him: Where did this salted fish come from? Dude: Grown on the tree! The next day, the aunt of the residential area next door to the school broke her mouth and scolded at the door of the dormitory! Said someone at our school stole salted fish from a small tree she hung outside.

11 The first time I took my boyfriend to see my parents, my boyfriend spent the night at my house, the family was there, and he slept with my brother. In the early hours of the morning, he picked up his clothes and came to my room, put down his clothes and was preparing to drill into the bed, when he saw his sister-in-law sleeping with me. Frightened, he grabbed his clothes and went back. In the morning, my brother woke up to see my sister-in-law's bra at the head of my boyfriend's bed, and my boyfriend was confused...

12 The father-in-law was very lucky, and won the lottery ticket - the prize was 1 million yuan. Yesterday, I went to the Welfare Lottery Center with my mother-in-law to receive the award, and the person in charge of the Welfare Lottery Center asked: "Do you donate?" "The 1 million prize is not too much, and the father-in-law does not want to donate at all, but he can see that the mother-in-law is hesitating, as if he wants to donate some money." The father-in-law quickly pulled on her mother-in-law's clothes, called out her mother-in-law's nickname, and reminded her: "Juan'er, Juan'er..." The person in charge of the Fucai Center smiled and asked: "How much do you donate?" The mother-in-law glared at her father-in-law fiercely!