1. There was a village chief in China who absconded to the United States and had nothing to do, so he opened a private clinic and put a sign at the door, saying that if the disease was cured, he would pay $500; if he could not be cured, he would return $2000. An American doctor saw the sign and thought it was a good opportunity to make money, so he decided to go to the village chief's clinic. American: I lost my sense of taste, and there was no taste in my mouth when I ate. Village Chief: Nurse, take box 22 of the medicine and drop three drops into the patient's mouth. American: Depend, it's gasoline! Village Chief: Congratulations, the sense of taste has been restored, pay $500. The American doctor had to pay and left unhappily. He returned to the clinic a few days later, intending to get the lost money back. American: I lost my memory, I couldn't remember anything. Village Chief: Nurse, take box 22 of the medicine and drop three drops into the patient's mouth. American: Oh, isn't this the last time it treated the taste of gasoline!? Village Chief: Congratulations, your memory is restored, please pay $500. The Americans had to pay again and left in anger. I returned to the clinic a few days later. American: My eyesight is very poor. Village Chief: Sorry! I don't have any medicine to cure this disease, this is refund your $2000... American: But it's only $800! Village Chief: Congratulations, your eyesight has been restored, please pay me $500... The Americans were not reconciled, and after a few months they went to the clinic again, saying that the ears could not hear. The village chief muttered to the nurse: This is trying to fight with us to the end, it is better to add some consumable medicine to the No. 22 medicine and let him go! The Americans listened and ran. The village chief caught him and said: Your hearing has been restored... Before the village chief could finish speaking, the Americans threw down three hundred and never came back. The next year, the American sat in a wheelchair and let the assistant push and go to the clinic, thinking that this time no matter what you say, I will pretend to be crazy and stupid, see how you treat the disease? Who knows, the village chief was overjoyed to see the situation, and quickly called the American's wife: Honey, your husband is forced to do this, what are we still sneaking around? The Americans heard this and grabbed the phone to question their wives. Who knew that the phone was not connected at all. The Americans are really crazy after admitting to paying the medical fee... ”
2. The eldest brother and his girlfriend open a video at home, and the two of them are tired. His girlfriend joked: "If you don't want me, I will marry your father, let you call me mom every day..." The father who was drinking water coughed violently, and the mother's hand with the needle shook violently, saying: "Son, your mother has never interfered with you before, but this girl is really not suitable for you!" Break up with her. ”?
3. Outside today I rode a small electric donkey out of the house (there is a seat behind the bike), answered a phone call while waiting for the green light, and then I rode for a while, felt that something was wrong, looked back, Mom Ddan, there was a tease sitting on my car, I looked at him, he actually said, just heard you call, we are on the way.... Way.... You're so faceless, does your mother know?
4. I am usually an alcoholic, it is uncomfortable not to drink for a day, and it is better to feel at least half a kilogram of liquor every day. But I haven't had a job for a long time, and I can't drink without money, so I looked for a job on the recruitment network and saw a liquor company apply for a warehouse manager. So I went to apply, and the boss asked me, "Do you usually drink?" I said, "I don't drink." The boss said, "Well, you can come to work tomorrow." In order to avoid the warehouse manager from stealing alcohol, the boss sometimes tore off the label of some unboxed bottled liquor and warned the administrator: "These are expired distilled water, do not move." A few days later, the boss found that the liquor bottles he had kept in the warehouse that had been torn off their labels were empty, so he asked the warehouse manager: "How come all this distilled water is gone?" I said, "I'm always thirsty these days, and I think I'm throwing away all this expired distilled water, so I might as well drink it, so I drank it." The boss said bitterly: "Didn't you drink that it was wine?" I said, "No, I drink like white water." The boss asked again: "Didn't you say that you don't usually drink alcohol?" I said, "Yeah, usually a drop of wine who dips ah, if you want to drink, you have to drink a bottle." ”
5. This afternoon, after my son finished school, he told me to ask me for meat, and I thought that my son was hungry and wanted to eat meat? Later, when I asked if the teacher let me bring meat, I listened for half a day and didn't understand what this meant. In the V letter group of the kindergarten in the evening, parents asked the teacher, why should they let the children bring meat? Lin Wei's mother said in the group: My child said to bring a piece of meat to school. Zhang Mei's mother said: My family also said this, and they also want me to fry it well and take it. As soon as the teacher said it, he understood that the teacher asked him to bring a pot of succulents to enrich the plant corner of the kindergarten.
6. The old man had an accident on the construction site, the second-degree silkworm was injured, and the contractor lost more than five million. The old man had no sons but only my wife and a daughter, and since then I have lived a life of spending money. After drinking in the bar that night, the driver of the bar asks for 600. I think you called a Didi. Waited for half an hour, only more than 300, and tonight I drank in this place again. Just last night the surrogate driver was there, and I got in the car. He hesitated: Brother, or 600. In fact, he didn't understand, I didn't want to just finish drinking 6,000 yuan of Moutai and wait for half an hour for a few hundred yuan.
7. On this day, my mother-in-law came home from work with a large bouquet of roses in her hand. After the mother-in-law saw it: Buy such a large bouquet of roses, are you going to give it to me? My mother-in-law replied casually: This is what I picked up on the side of the road. The mother-in-law didn't care and said: It doesn't matter, as long as it is given to me! Then the mother-in-law's words made people mad, saying: It is not for you, this is what I plan to use for soaking feet...?
8. Girlfriend in cc live yin and yang division, a local tycoon brushed her two million gifts. Then the two people added V letters to each other, and later the two became boyfriend and girlfriend after a long time. This day was the day she got married, and her mother was reluctant and crying. She comforted her mother: Mom, don't cry, she will come back when she marries, maybe she will bring you a grandson! Unexpectedly, her mother whispered: Don't talk, if I don't pretend to cry, you will think that I don't hurt you!
#Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #年度搞笑名场面 #
A wave of wonderful GIFs to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
