When we are nearly forty years old, we clearly feel that the clock of our lives is ticking. Having children after the age of thirty-five is a sweetheart choice, a concept that we have been ingrained since we were young.
In a way, this opinion is correct. From a pedigree point of view, we can give birth naturally before menstruation (on average between forty-five and fifty-five years old), however, due to the decline in egg quality, our probability of a successful full-term pregnancy begins to decrease in our twenties, and by the age of thirty-five we have missed the best period of fertility.
What does this mean? This means that women in their twenties experience an average of thirteen attempts to become successfully pregnant; but by the time they reach their thirties and forties, they experience twenty-six. Almost everyone I know of women between the ages of thirty-five and forty-five will experience the confusion, anxiety, frustration, frustration, and fear of childbearing (except, of course, women who choose not to have children, or who treat their stepchildren and stepdaughters as their own, and who truly feel at peace about their decisions).
Nowadays, we already have multiple options for how to conceive and raise children. Even so, for many forty-year-old women who are delaying childbearing or hesitating whether to have children, childbearing can be their biggest challenge.
Some women neglect the issue of childbearing until they reach the beginning to the middle of their forties to prepare for childbearing. It wasn't until they consulted a doctor that they found that after the age of forty-three, the probability of pregnancy became very small. This is undoubtedly a cruel fact, and it may have a devastating blow to their psychology. They realized that the sooner they accepted this reality, the more they could take measures to deal with it, otherwise, they would only add to their regrets. In addition, women who try to get pregnant for a long time will also face many difficulties.
A friend of mine works in a high-risk pregnant women ward at a hospital whose main responsibility is to help women who have miscarried. Regardless of their age, race, and socioeconomic status, they all exude frustration as women. They will think that childbearing is the most basic task of women, and they feel that their bodies have betrayed them. Eventually, they have to live with reality. I am very sympathetic to their fertility problems, and we also need to deal with them gracefully.
In fact, we have little control over the outcome of things. Over the course of life, can we be grateful for what we have and not go crazy about what we don't have? Can we be generous in sharing our experiences and knowledge with others? Can we be sympathetic to women who fail to achieve their mother's dreams in the way they expect? Can we bravely and without complaint follow our own unique path of life?
Nana Li graduated with honors from a key university, worked in the IT industry, and maintained a jealous body shape by strictly controlling work and rest time and healthy eating. However, by the age of forty-one, she found herself still single, and without the children she had always dreamed of. In order to make her dream of a perfect family a reality, she married a man who appeared next, although at first she felt that something was not quite right.
Nine months later, at the age of forty-two, they had a child, Nana Li's dream (or their dream?). It finally happened. Nana Li loves her children very much, but feels pain about her marriage. For several years, she had maintained a closed-eye attitude towards her husband's long-standing business reasons for not returning home.
But in the end, she couldn't stand blatant lies and disrespect. She knew he had an affair, and she chose to face it face to face and let him admit it. She found that he did live a double life. Having more than two children with another woman in another neighborhood, she said "the showdown turned out to be terrible." Eventually, she ended the marriage and began her life as a single mother.
However, the story has a happy ending. Nana Li is now in her fifties, her career has progressed by leaps and bounds, and her personal life is also thriving. She fell back in love at the age of forty-six and married at the age of forty-seven, and to this day it is still a happy marriage.
When she hears young women express concern about the clock of life, she advises them to be cautious, "not to show despair because of your age", "consider all your options, there are many ways to have children, rather than rushing to marry the first person to show up, as I did." I was freed from marriage, but he was still the father of my children. If this were a child you gave birth to alone, you might be happier! ”