Author/Window Sill
In the past, I always saw some couples with marriage crises around me, mainly because one party betrayed the marriage in the middle, of which the men may have more betrayals, and the women's reactions are mostly the same, crying, arguing, making trouble, telling their own not easy, and then out of various considerations of reality, there are not a few cases of choosing to forgive.
I remember vividly that when I was in high school, there was a relative in the family, and such a thing happened.
The woman found that her husband had betrayed, and after some heavy crying, finally under the witness of some elders in the family, let the man write a letter of guarantee, saying that he would never do it again, and this matter passed.
After that, if a woman mentions it again, she may still be blamed, and the past things should not be said over and over again, so as not to affect each other's feelings.
Since childhood, in my values, two people married, must be because of love, and the establishment of marriage means that each other have signed a marriage loyalty agreement, and after that in this relationship, we should try to avoid those things that cannot be done, do something and do nothing.
But as I grew up, especially as I witnessed too much love and marriage, from mutual liking to breaking up, I began to realize that the word love, if you add the premise of a lifetime, is it a luxury in itself?
After talking about marriage, I always hear people around me, after talking about love for a period of time, so feel: the time to fall in love should not be too long, when it is time to get married, you must get married, otherwise two people will be easy to get separated.
I think the meaning of this sentence is actually another way to say: if the love of two people does not use the marriage paper to be bound into responsibility, it seems unreliable to rely purely on love to play a role. However, the implementation of the word responsibility and the implementation of life are actually very difficult for many people.
You will find that many people's sense of responsibility is actually lacking.
Some time ago, I heard a sister talk about her view of marriage.
Her husband cheated. They were not divorced, she was not much sad, when she knew all this, although she was a little surprised, mainly the feelings of two people who had been together for so many years, together with the ups and downs, from nothing to the present small success, she had always been loyal to him, did not think that he had long been heartbroken.
However, in the face of his betrayal, she is actually not so heartbroken.
Because about love and marriage, she thinks more clearly, feelings later, most of them are a person's sense of responsibility driving the development of everything, to say how much to love each other? Probably not either.
But years of getting along, it is certain that each other's companionship has more different certainty, but whether they can stick to the end, often fight only the character, not the love itself.
Before, I saw a passage to the effect that whether a person is married or not in this life, he must not meet more than one person who makes his heart move, this truth, just like going to the beach to collect shells, as long as you continue to be on the beach, you will definitely encounter better and bigger shells. The best way to do this is, when you've met that satisfied shell, don't go to the beach again.
Therefore, she is not noisy, not flustered, not busy, and especially rational in dealing with all this, because she has long accepted that no one may be able to accompany you for a lifetime.
Her point of view is that marriage is originally a cooperation, a transaction, there is no need to emphasize the appearance of love, she does not doubt the original love. But at the same time, she didn't believe that someone could really cross the human instinct of liking the new and hating the old to love her for the rest of her life.
If many people cannot keep the original promise in their hearts under the premise of choice, it is actually a very normal thing. The four words about loyalty and long-term affection, without additional expectations, the so-called lifelong stay, is no longer just a blind fantasy, because when the result finally comes, no one can predict what will happen in the middle.
In any intimate relationship, love, trust, dependence, cheating, betrayal, etc. are actually happening randomly, which is not a particularly rare phenomenon, although everyone in a relationship, they hope that the other party can always be the one who always accompanies themselves, but the scope of the two words is too far away, when you say it yourself, you are also uncertain.
This is originally a fantasy in love, and each of us can eventually change and restrain, only ourselves, as for the thoughts and actions of others, come or go, in fact, you can't decide, just like some people love you at first, but then don't love you, you ask for reasons or go to justice, at this time there is no meaning, it is better to think about what you can grasp in front of you.
Only by touching love with such an awareness and entering marriage may not always be disappointed in the long years that follow.
In her opinion, many men marry, which is nothing more than three purposes. The men at the bottom are trying to keep the incense, the middle men are looking for better helpers, and the men at the top are looking for stronger teammates.
Regarding the weight of love in it, how light or how heavy it is, different people must be different. But the only thing that is the same is that the love brain in this world certainly does not occupy the majority, especially men, who are much more rational than women when facing a relationship.
Therefore, in the face of the marriage of two people, now there is such a challenge, in the face of the destruction of outsiders, she is not hysterical, nor does she ask the reason, because things have happened, she no longer does any useless work. At this time, what she was planning was: how to maximize her own interests in the existing situation? What good things can she grasp in her hand?
These things are much more useful than lamenting the loss of love.
And they didn't end up divorcing because her husband didn't want to, and at the same time she took all the financial power in her own hands, so why not get a divorce?
She said: "He has a relatively high income, and he said that he would give it all to me after he said good, why don't I want it?" It just so happens that he also needs my help to take care of the family and take care of the children. ”
When she doesn't pursue love in marriage and only sees marriage as a cooperation, things seem to be much simpler at once, and she is not so sad. See through love, many people often no longer believe in love, which is not known, whether it is joy or worry.
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