To get to know kids, start with crap

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Text/Guan see Anchor/Zhang Bin

From the age of three, the average child begins to enter kindergarten, and after four years, enters primary school and begins the compulsory education stage.

When a child leaves his parents, the parent begins to scratch his heart: How did he learn? And how is it played? Does the teacher like him? Will classmates bully him? All kinds of worries, and so on.

I am also a person who has come over, I feel this, I remember when my child was in elementary school, I wanted to know his school situation very much, and the most desired thing was to be able to receive a monitor in their classroom, which could be directly connected to my office computer, and could go up to see it at any time.

Of course, this is just wishful thinking.

So, how to solve this pain point?

In my opinion, the key to knowing your child's school situation is on the parents themselves.

Some children, no matter how their parents ask, always answer only three words "very good".

How do you get the child, who will always be "very good", to talk to his parents?

This requires a certain amount of skill.

First of all, the timing of the conversation with your child is important.

The timing of the dialogue should not be placed when the child is just received, because at this time the child is still immersed in some things in the school and has not returned to God.

You can choose when you get home, or after meals, before going to bed, this time the child is the most relaxed, is the best time for dialogue and communication, and is more willing to meet with parents frankly.

Second, parents should be patient and listen to their children's "nonsense".

Many parents are only willing to ask their own questions, and they want to directly pull out the core content as soon as they come up, rather than listening to their children's "nonsense".

In fact, for these "nonsense" said by parents, parents should pay attention to and respond in time.

On the surface, this kind of "nonsense" is meaningless, but in fact, it reflects the state of the child itself, on the one hand, the child is happy and relaxed, on the other hand, it also reflects the child's trust in the parents.

Parents listening to the "nonsense" of their children will let their children know that his voice will be heard, what he expresses is valued, and his needs will be seen.

Only in this way will the child's expressed desires be enhanced, and he will talk to his parents about the words of the heart, and the conversation box will be opened from these inadvertent "nonsense".

Third, parents' questions should be open-ended and concrete

Avoid closed-ended questions like "Are you happy at school today?" With such a question, the child has nothing to say except to say "OK", and the conversation will be interrupted.

Too abstract questions are also bad, such as "How did you feel today?" "Such a question is difficult for children to talk about specifically."

You can ask questions like this:

What happened in today's language class?

What is the PE class today?

What did you do during today's recess?

What makes you happiest today?

Which of your classmates do you like to play with?

Is there anything mom and dad needs help with today?

Can today's math teach moms?

The younger the child, the more specific the problem should be, and the child can tell a complete story from these specific problems.

For older children, the most important conversational skills for parents to master are:

Pay more attention to your child's interests and let your child dominate the topic.

The reason why many children are reluctant to talk to their parents is because what adults want to know is not what children want to express.

Start with the things that the child is interested in, in order to slowly open the child's heart.

Only by arousing the child's interest in answering the question can the conversation continue.

Fourth, negative questions, try to ask as little as possible.

The most typical are two:

First, is there anyone in school bullying you today?

Second, did the teacher criticize you today?

In general, parents should choose to start by listening to their children talk nonsense when their children are most relaxed, pull out the topic from it, and ask some specific questions, so that they can understand what their children are doing in school at the end of the day.

In my opinion, everything else is not difficult, but the difficulty is that parents must learn to listen:

Listen to your child's "nonsense"!

To get to know your child, start with "nonsense".

Personal opinions do not represent any institution

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