Children swallow whistles to cause disaster, why should they hide from their parents

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Text/Guan see Anchor/Zhang Bin

As the saying goes, blood is thicker than water, and it stands to reason that the feelings between parents and children should be the most intimate.

Unfortunately, as children grow up, many children's hearts and parents are getting farther and farther away, and even more and more distrustful of their parents, which eventually leads to big problems.

The other day I saw a news that a 26-year-old boy had repeated pneumonia attacks, the doctor was inexplicable, and then the young man himself said that when he was very young 20 years ago, he swallowed a whistle and did not take it out at that time.

This surprised the doctor and asked him why he didn't tell his parents at that time.

The young man said that he was afraid of being scolded at that time, so he did not dare to tell.

This concealment was concealed for 20 years, and the result was a big thing.

Finally, he had surgery to get the whistle that had tormented him for 20 years.

It can be said that in addition to torturing him physically, this whistle has also become a knot in his heart, leaving him in a state of anxiety all the time.

Many readers may have a hard time understanding him, thinking that when he was a child, such an incident occurred, and he should tell his parents, why didn't he dare to say it?

In my opinion, there are not a few cases like that of the young man, so what is the reason why the child would rather be hurt than confess to his parents and ask for help?

I think the fundamental reason is that parents are not appropriate enough in their attitudes and methods when dealing with certain issues, especially when children make mistakes, which gradually leads to the relationship between parents and children becoming indifferent.

When children make mistakes, some parents react too fiercely, either rough accusations or irony, such an attitude will directly affect the child's honesty with parents in the future.

Because he will feel that being honest with his parents leads to such a result, then I might as well not say it, at least not to scold.

After a long time, the child's first reaction after making a mistake will become: "This matter must not be known to parents." ”

Therefore, lying and avoidance have become the habitual countermeasures of children after making mistakes.

Everyone will make mistakes, children are even more, for the handling of children after making mistakes, the focus should be on helping children recognize mistakes and take corresponding responsibilities.

If you punish the child in a way that is out of control, it will only destroy the child's sense of security, affect the parent-child relationship, and finally, lead to mutual distrust.

If parents are rational and the starting point is to help their children, then I believe that no matter what problems arise in the future, children will have the courage to face them and tell the truth to their parents.

A parent once told me this:

Her daughter is a residential student, and as a result, she was wrongfully stolen by her classmates from someone in the dormitory, and when the teacher called her daughter to the office, she immediately asked the teacher's mobile phone to call her mother and told her mother that she was wronged.

Her mother rushed to school immediately and firmly supported her daughter.

Then the truth came out.

I greatly appreciate the mother-daughter approach, which is a typical case of mutual trust, the daughter believes that her mother will stand for her, and the mother believes in the daughter's human qualities.

The premise of all this is based on the daughter's understanding: even if the whole world does not believe in me, my parents will believe in me.

A parent-child relationship of mutual trust requires the respect and support of parents for their children.

On the one hand, pay attention to the child's feelings, and do not use the words of the brain to hurt the child's heart.

On the other hand, manage your emotions well, be a little more tolerant and patient, and express love and trust to your children.

If you find that your child encounters things and dare not tell you, then reflect on the above two aspects.

An important prerequisite for children to be honest with their parents and ask their parents for help is:

Parents absolutely trust themselves.

The best proof of love is trust, and trusting each other is the best love.

Personal opinions do not represent any institution

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