01
Zhou Qiang, president of the Supreme People's Court, said at the scene of the lecture at Tsinghua University:
"Now, this plaintiff and defendant, which party is the most divorced by the man and the woman? Woman. Probably what percentage, 74%. There used to be a saying called the 'seven-year itch' of marriage, but how long does it take to divorce on average now? Three years. ”
It's really hard to imagine.
Most of the people who take the initiative to propose divorce are women, and two reasons cannot be ruled out, people now do not have the constraints of the previous moral concepts, and their understanding and attitude towards marriage are too casual, when emotions strike, they get married, when emotions disappear, they divorce, and everything becomes a simple question of likes or dislikes.
There is also thinking in the heart, casually find another one will be happier than now, it is this psychology, which leads to the marriage of modern people is very fragile and sensitive.
But if we think about it, can we really live happily by changing people? Can another person really be better than the current one?
If in the married life, there are principled problems and harms, then divorce is beyond reproach, but if it is tired of the content of marriage, then I tell you, no matter who you marry, the nature and content of marriage will not change, including no matter who you marry, there are enough times, and there are also times when you are angry to the point of shivering.
So the first marriage is not running well, why are you sure that the second marriage can live well, in the case of you and children, have you ever thought that there will be more complicated problems.
Even if you are a victim, the remarried partner will think, you and your ex-husband are not doing well, then can you get along with me? Will there be any defenses? Perhaps only through experience can we truly understand that in a second marriage, all the problems of human nature will be magnified.
02
Let's be honest: are you doing well in your second marriage?
In the background, I met a female reader, who said this: "In fact, you can't answer this question with good or bad, what you choose is what you have to bear, every choice, there are things for you to enjoy, there are things for you to bear, the essence of life is the same." 」 ”
And the real experience of her second marriage is very tired and tired. The first marriage failed, I hope to get a home in the second marriage, with great expectations, there are also heart and lungs, unreserved to pay, but it is useless, you divorce and remarry is a fact, the in-laws will definitely guard against you.
Yes, the in-laws are all kinds of wariness and all kinds of vigilance, afraid that she will transfer the resources of the in-laws to raise and ex-husband's children, if there is any major matter, the in-laws will secretly discuss behind her back.
It's best to hope that she will be a babysitter's accusation, and then she can post it upside down, and of course, there is also a hidden consciousness of looking down on you.
When the reader and the ex-husband are together, they have never encountered such problems and have not lived such a life. Of course, the current one does not have the vices that her ex-husband has, which is what makes her more pleased and the reason for persistence.
Having personally experienced these things, the reader has also seen through and wanted to open, at least without the beautiful fantasies of the past, and always feel that he will be an exception.
So she told the women a truth, don't be brainwashed by the poisonous chicken soup on the Internet, the husband and wife are still the original good (unless there is a matter of principle), those who can't move on the Internet to remarry are sweet, happy, romantic, just to win people's attention, suck traffic to make money (or artificial management), that is, what you see, are what others let you see.
You only see the surface, the actual content of life, you simply do not know, even if some intimate moments, are real, can not represent the whole married life.
Just like you must have happy moments, when you post it, netizens will envy you, thinking that this is the whole life content of your marriage, in fact? Only you know.
Maybe after remarrying, live very well, but do not ignore a problem of probability, a thousand people, may only find a happy home, there are 999 people, is tragic, of course, these 999 people will certainly not admit that their choice is wrong, so wantonly amplify and beautify the happy part of single life, and you, it is easy to be affected.
In the final analysis, you must have your own judgment and thinking, you can't believe what you hear, and recognize what you see, otherwise your life is really not worthy of sympathy.
03
Really, if you are not forced to do so, don't get divorced, only you really can't go on, you really can't live. No matter what the problem, what contradictions, try to calmly solve, divorce at every turn, is divorce the way to solve the problem? It's just the end of the feelings, the relationship.
Husband and wife can influence each other, as long as they do not change and control each other in the form of command and blame, the premise is that you first ensure your own change.
When you are willing to change yourself, the other party will definitely change because of your change. All marriage problems must not be the problems of any one person, and not thinking that there is anything wrong with oneself is often the biggest problem of people.
Unless you promise that you will not get married for the rest of your life after divorce, you will be able to withstand all the pressure, including the pressure of public opinion.
In fact, this is not realistic, after your divorce, your life, situation, environment will change, then your ideas will also change. And as long as you have emotional needs, you will definitely get married, unless you really enjoy the process of being alone with one person.
Divorce is not such a simple thing, as long as you have children, it is impossible to directly get rid of that relationship, then after remarriage, this will also become a burden and pressure on each other.
All kinds of problems will be encountered, so you can only settle yourself down, yes, let yourself settle down, don't think about it all day, keep to yourself, be down-to-earth, and think about living the present life well. If you encounter any problem, solve what problem, ask yourself, change a partner, and life will be smooth? If you can't, live your life.
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