Author/Child
Really, don't talk too much at any time, you can't get your words back, but you can't predict what will happen next.
As the old saying goes, everything leaves a line, and it is also true that we will see each other in the future. When this principle is applied between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is easier to exert its effect to the fullest.
Because between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it has always been about thirty years of Hedong and thirty years of Hexi, and it is the rotation of feng shui. Respect and understanding are always mutual, and the efforts of the human heart are also mutual.
Of course, I'm talking about the general situation. There are certainly some exceptions, and even vengeful people will exist, but that is not within the scope of today's discussion.
In my life, I always hear some mothers-in-law, when they are young and still able to move, swear to promise that they will rely on themselves in the future, not relying on anyone, let alone their daughter-in-law, and having money in their hands is the most important. Yes, money is indeed important and the foundation of everything, but when you reach a certain age, money is really not a panacea.
When a person has health and youth, it is impossible to imagine that when the body is no longer tough, the loneliness of the years passed, and the loneliness when no one cares.
The loneliness at this time will be magnified innumerable times compared to the solitude of youth.
Therefore, I always see some of the phenomena of being punched in the face by myself later.
To tell the truth, the current mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, compared with the previous words, there have been a lot of changes, and the respect and understanding between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are also being applied to practice by more people. Time goes back a little, the previous mother-in-law relationship, many people have a relationship of suppression.
My mother is 55 years old, and I found that many people in their generation are really like this, especially in rural areas.
My mother and my grandmother also have contradictions, anyway, some things in their youth, from my mother's position, she thinks that my grandmother bullied her a little when she was young, but my mother is also a person with a more temperamental temper, she can't stand it at all, they didn't quarrel less when they were young.
Now, I am older and my temper has calmed down a lot, although my mother's relationship with my grandmother has recovered a lot.
My mother was still filial to this mother-in-law on the whole, often visited, and did a better job than my father. But in my mother's words, I am just raising children myself, doing things according to my conscience, so that people will not regret it when they come.
She still talks to me about some things when she was younger, about how much my grandmother used to do, and how bad things my mother always said over and over again, because these things are the knots in her heart. She can't open this knot herself, it is impossible not to think, behind her back, she should complain or complain, but in the face of morality, she should fulfill her obligations, she will still do.
These two do not affect.
My mother had a friend whose conflict with her mother-in-law was even sharper, and I often heard her complain about her mother-in-law, who could say most of the day at a time, mainly when she was young.
She said that her mother-in-law was very eccentric, before she only liked the younger son of the family, did not like her husband's eldest son, her eldest daughter-in-law did not like it, as soon as they got married, they separated from the family, the mother-in-law and the younger son did not separate the family, and have always lived together.
She said: "In my life, I have not enjoyed a little blessing from my mother-in-law, and every stitch and thread, a pot and a bowl in the family have all been earned by my husband and me." The mother-in-law's little son, do not care about anything, the house in the hometown is bought by the mother-in-law, the two children are brought by the mother-in-law, they work outside, and when they come back, the home is clean and tidy, and everywhere is stable and secure. As soon as we got home, the cold pot was cold on the stove, and the ashes were piled high. ”
She mainly felt that her mother-in-law was doing too unfairly, it was all children, and her husband's eldest son was just like picking it up, and her mother-in-law didn't care at all.
One thing, she keeps stressing. The daughter-in-law gave birth to a child, the mother-in-law has been taking care of, for many months is the meal to open the mouth to reach out, she gave birth to the child when the confinement did not eat, the mother-in-law came to see, brought a bowl of chicken soup, is really a bowl of pure chicken soup, the mother-in-law put the chicken in the pot are reluctant to give her some. As soon as she finished sitting, she was going to work in the field, and there was a child in the back basket, and she had no one to help carry it.
30 years ago, after she and her husband got married, she saw that her mother-in-law did not like them at all, and said that she would not expect them to retire in the future, and her mother-in-law was not polite at all, directly saying: "I will never rely on you in the future." ”
That's really too much to say.
Over the years, her mother-in-law has been in her younger son's house, and gradually attracted the dissatisfaction of her daughter-in-law, mainly because her mother-in-law's health began to be bad and she could not do anything. When she was young, her mother-in-law was a housekeeper, and now she always likes to say two more words, and her mother-in-law's daughter-in-law is dissatisfied a lot of times, directly saying that she is nosy.
Last year, her mother-in-law fell ill twice, and both sons paid for it, divided equally, because her mother-in-law did not have a retirement salary. She didn't say anything, but her mother-in-law's daughter-in-law was dissatisfied, saying that she spent too much money, and her son still had to marry his daughter-in-law, so he couldn't spend it all for her. Her mother-in-law was not stupid, she must have heard the many complaints in the tone, and at that time she also gambled that she was not cured, anyway, she was suspected of being old, it was better to die.
Just at this time, she made a meal and went to the hospital to visit, and when she heard this, she said: "The money has been spent, you will see a doctor, no one wants you to die, no matter how old people are, they still want to have a mother." ”
Her mother-in-law cried directly when she heard this, thinking that her mother was aimed at her, but in fact she was speaking from her husband's position.
Later, her mother-in-law revealed the meaning of coming to their house, and said: "Actually, I know that you have a good heart." ”
She did not agree, and her attitude toward her mother-in-law felt a bit like my mother: Filial piety to the old man, I rely on my conscience, if I really don't care, my conscience will definitely not pass.
But it is really impossible to think about how good it is to pluck out her heart and lungs, after all, the contradictions of her youth are there, and she can accept visiting her mother-in-law occasionally.
Her husband is a son, and he also has the obligation of support, so the two of them discussed that her family took some alimony every year to the husband's brother's family, and the only thing that could not be done was to come to their home for the elderly.
She said a particularly heartfelt sentence: "If I live together every day, when I think of what happened when I was young, I will definitely feel angry and have a bad temper." I also can't control myself, come to the house to add to my blockage, occasionally go to visit, but also acceptable. To tell the truth, people are poor when they are old. ”
Yes, human nature is complex.
She now sometimes talks about her mother-in-law, in fact, with sympathy, the old man is not in good health, alone at home all day, everyone has to go to work, and no one is talking with him.
However, sympathy returned to sympathy, and when she turned around to complain about her mother-in-law, she still did not complain less. Some of the things that her mother-in-law did when she was young, she said she should talk about it for a lifetime.
Yes, between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it has always been a wrongful knot that is not suitable for solution, and in the long years and months, it will begin to accumulate dissatisfaction because of a small matter, and it will continue to become a big contradiction, and then in the end it will not be able to let go. By the time one side becomes a disadvantage and wants to turn the tide, it is often too late.
Therefore, people who have a sincere heart at the beginning are more willing to exchange for the sincerity later.
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