Today's hot search came out with an angry and funny strange thing...
A girl finished the bathroom in the service area and came out to find that her boyfriend had left, and her mobile phone was left in the car without a carry-on.
The girl was helpless to wait in place, waited for two hours and did not wait for her boyfriend to return, cold and hungry can only call the police.
In front of the police, the girl cried that she almost fainted.
Later, the police contacted her boyfriend and asked her boyfriend to pick her up.
This news makes people feel that the world is really big, there are no surprises, just two people in the car, lost a big living person, the other party actually did not know.
And I didn't know for a while that it was understandable, but after two hours, my boyfriend didn't want to come back to her, which couldn't help but make people full of question marks.
Netizens' comments were varied, and eighty percent of the comments were full of anger.
Netizens said indignantly: "It is impossible to forget, it is absolutely deliberate, is such an irresponsible boyfriend still alive for the New Year?" ”
For a while, I couldn't perceive that there was less than one person, so did the two of them not say a word along the way, and there was no communication at all?
Also, this year, the news of a partner arguing, throwing the other party off the car or even throwing it on the highway is simply not too much.
Every few days there will be one, and it is no wonder that netizens are "conspiracy theories".
And a small number of people believe that recently there have been many news that two people have left their children in the supermarket and forgot to take them to the car.
Lin Zi is big and has all kinds of birds, and it is not ruled out that the boyfriend is really big-hearted, and he really forgot his girlfriend.
If it is a quarrel, the two are angry, and it is very inappropriate to throw the other person away.
But if it is really a living forget about another person, it is a matter of extreme fear.
In this regard, the psychology big V, the famous expert Wu Zhihong also forwarded the news.
His comment was: Love, which can be understood as, "in the heart dwells a loving one".
In this story, it is really like "there is no girlfriend in my heart".
Some people may wonder what is "no girlfriend in the heart"?
Two people get along day and night, live together every day, why do they need to live together?
What about not having hearts together?
In fact, this situation is very common in gender relations, in other words: I can't see you.
01
How suffocating is the unseen relationship
He can't see you, it's not that his eyes can't see you as a person.
It's that he can't see the real you, can't see the complete you, and he never uses his heart to feel you.
Asan has a boyfriend who can't see her.
The two of them had been together for nearly three years, and they were tired of being together every day, but Asan always had a strange feeling that could not be said.
Asan doesn't like to add coriander when he eats vegetables, a feature he told him when he was just with his boyfriend.
However, whenever the two eat or order together, the boyfriend will still insist on adding parsley.
When Asan reminded him not to eat coriander, he seemed to be very attentive at the time: "It turns out that you don't like to eat coriander!" ”
But the next time I ate, I forgot.
Asan was busy at work, often working late, and several times when he was busy going home in the middle of the night, only to find that the door was locked.
Call to find a boyfriend, people have long been asleep, but after waking up, they look innocent:
"Ah, I forgot you hadn't come back yet, so I locked the door."
Asan sometimes wants to change his image, change his hairstyle, new clothes, and beautifully dangle in front of his boyfriend's eyes.
But the boyfriend didn't seem to find anything, and asked her with a confused face:
"What happened to you today?" How old is it hanging in front of me? ”
The two have been together for a few years, and there are feelings to say that there are also feelings, but the boyfriend seems to know nothing from beginning to end.
For example, what color Asan likes, what flavor perfume he likes;
Where do you like to play, what kind of movies you watch, what kind of good friends...
He didn't know anything about it, let alone Asan's emotional feelings.
Several times, the two clashed, and Asan was visibly unhappy.
The face is not good, the boyfriend is still like no one, as if nothing has happened, what to do.
When Asan reached the tipping point, burst into emotion and was furious, the boyfriend looked incomprehensible:
"What nerves are you having?" What do you have to be wronged about? ”
In the heart of the boyfriend, his girlfriend loves to eat coriander, looks the same, will not be angry and emotional, and will always be gentle and lovely.
What you like, your girlfriend will follow what you like.
But he never knew that the opposite person was a living person with his own needs and characteristics.
Sometimes she will have appeals, sometimes she will have grievances, and sometimes she also needs to be comforted and appeased.
02
An unseen sense of worth can ruin a person
Many "invisible" do not only exist in a certain person and a relationship.
Instead, it penetrates deep into the collective consciousness of the whole society and becomes the "invisible" of the whole society.
For example, Li Lianglei and Wang Lihong, who shocked the whole network at the end of last year.
While accusing Wang Lihong of ruthlessness, Li Lianglei pointed out an important issue, that is, our long-term "invisible" value to housewives.
For many years, people have tacitly accepted that taking a baby and running the housework should be a woman's job.
Popular belief that women deserve to do these things, and every woman is doing it, so it's no big deal.
The difficulty of these matters is also very low, and their value is far less than that of men who work hard outside to earn money.
This painful feeling of "I obviously put in a lot of energy and time, but you can't see anything" can destroy a person.
The value of housework and childcare cannot be quantified or evaluated in monetary terms, but it is truly labor-intensive.
So more and more postpartum women are being diagnosed with depression.
Even rich and powerful female stars will have such a dark and dark moment after becoming a mother.
The goddess Scarlett experienced the pain of not being seen in the movie "Marriage Story", and Scarlett cried out in despair:
"In the beginning I was a star, an actor, it felt amazing, people came to see me...
But I gradually became less and less important, and I became smaller and smaller.
I never lived for myself, just made him (husband) more and more energetic..."
These unseen grievances, like a black hole, will swallow a person deeper and deeper until they cannot extricate themselves.
03
Learn to see how you feel
If you are already in a relationship that is not seen, if your partner is a person who cannot see the other person, how can you save yourself?
The only solution is to see yourself deeply, to see your own worth, to see your own needs, to see your feelings.
When you come home after a hard day and see a room that has not been cleaned, the first time should not be to pick up a broom and clean it with resentment.
Instead, lie down comfortably, or treat yourself to something to eat.
Let yourself relax and clean up when you are almost rested and feel good.
When it is very tiring to bring children at home, the object never says "hard you" and does not agree with your value.
At this time, what you need to do is to see where you are excellent, praise yourself fiercely, encourage yourself, and try to keep your body and mind in a comfortable state.
If conditions permit, buy some artifacts with baby, busy sneaking can also make yourself a drama, relax.
When running the household, you can find ways to outsource things that are tiring and uninteresting.
Finding an hourly worker or handing over some small appliances is a good choice.
The unfinished business allows you to slow down, and the less important things you save.
Satisfying your own needs and hurting yourself is to start from these little things.
Back to the news itself, many people only saw the woman being left in the service area by her boyfriend for two hours, leaving the woman cold and hungry and almost fainting.
But I didn't notice that for two hours, the girl couldn't take care of herself.
If you don't have a mobile phone, you can borrow the mobile phone of a passerby or a staff member.
The weather is cold, so find a place in the service area to be as warm as possible.
Or ask the staff in the service area for help, but she just waited and waited for two hours before she remembered to ask the police for help.
If you can see your own needs earlier, see the fear that you may be left behind, see that you have some cold and hunger,
Act quickly, perhaps far from reaching the point of "almost fainting.".
If you only pin your hope of seeing yourself on your boyfriend, give the responsibility of taking care of yourself to your boyfriend.
Not only is it difficult to get what you want, but it's also extremely irresponsible to yourself.
The most ideal relationship is of course thick in love, only me in your eyes, only you in my eyes, but the reality is always bone, there will always be some regrets.
There is a saying in psychology: seeing is healing.
This seeing refers not only to the mutual seeing between partners, but also to the ability to see the deficiencies in the relationship and do our best to make up for them.
May we all have relatively comfortable intimate relationships.
Author | He is a water-stopping healer, who holds the qualification certificate of psychological counselor of the Chinese Academy of Sciences and the qualification certificate of IHNMA international hypnotist, and is committed to exploring the depth and greatness of human nature.