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March 8 "Goddess Day" is coming, which belongs to every woman, and every mother has also been a beautiful, innocent, carefree girl. After becoming mothers, they also began to play multiple roles, wives, mothers, daughters, daughters-in-law, etc., they silently paid for the family, worked for their children, and more mothers fought in the workplace to share the pressure of family life. What kind of category do you fall into?
After becoming a mother, each character is seamlessly busy, only to forget that they are still themselves, and to ignore whether they are happy or healthy. Before becoming a mother, you can be free, and after having a baby, you can be on standby for 24 hours, from the feeding of infancy to the education of their grown children, mothers have different responsibilities at each stage and lose free time. At this point, I deeply understand that in the 8th year of becoming a stay-at-home mother, sometimes I still have tears.
If you are understood and considerate by your husband and family, as a mother, you will feel that all the efforts are worth it, but the hard work is not recognized or even the respect it deserves, and may eventually be a tragedy. Wang Lihong's divorce incident in December last year was a big "earthquake" in the entertainment industry, and his wife Li Lianglei's feelings about the beginning and end of the divorce incident pointedly pointed out the embarrassing living conditions of being a mother, especially a full-time mother, in marriage.
Being the lover of the Heavenly King, in the eyes of outsiders, is so lucky and has unlimited scenery, and from Li Lianglei's narration, it can be seen that she is a bound party in marriage. Six years of marriage and three children, so calculated, after marriage, Li Lianglei is not pregnant on the way to conditioning the body to get pregnant, and there is lactation in the middle, which is no different from the "fertility machine".
Li Lianglei also reminded the majority of women in the article that after marriage, they must have financial resources, otherwise even the living expenses must look at the face of their husbands, but also take into account the feelings of their in-laws, and there is no way to take care of their relatives. Yes, after getting married and having children, she gave up the career and future she could have, became a full-time mother, and devoted herself to having children and taking care of the family, but in the end she did not exchange respect, and the marriage also disintegrated.
In real life, I don't know how many mothers and Li Lianglei have the same experience, after giving birth to children, they have no hesitation to give up their preferences, turn around and devote themselves to raising children to take care of the family, completely losing themselves.
Lin Yutang once said that too many women have completely forgotten themselves and lost themselves since they entered marriage.
When I became a mother, I often forgot myself
Huawei once had a short film that was deeply rooted in the hearts of the people, in fact, the real life situation of many women, recording the moment when a woman became a mother, it was also the beginning of forgetting herself, food, afternoon tea, beauty, sports, everything was far away from her, and sleeping until she woke up naturally became a luxury.
From an objective point of view, this is what every woman has to experience after becoming a mother, all this is not empathetic, only the mother who has experienced it understands.
When the mother will not forget the time of eating and drinking Lazar, even in her sleep, she will habitually wake up to feed, what stage should change the milk powder, when the diaper should be purchased, when the baby should be vaccinated, etc., everything about the child will be remembered, and the memory related to themselves is getting worse and worse.
Society requires women to be independent and autonomous, to be equal to men in their careers, and women can be strong women in the workplace. But after giving birth, to raise and educate the child, to pay attention to the child's growth and psychological changes, to worry about the family's food, clothing, housing and transportation, all of which require mothers to pay a lot of time and energy, there is no extra time to pay attention to themselves.
I often pick up and drop off my children with my hair covered, and once Dabao asked me: "Mom, why don't you put on makeup and come out again?" "The confusion in my eyes makes me feel ashamed." The alarm clock is ringing, I have to pick up the child, go home to cook, where is the time to pick myself up?
How do stay-at-home moms make their best selves?
After becoming a mother, many things are completely different from the original, and the focus of life is also different, especially full-time mothers, their world in addition to children, is chai rice oil and salt and housework, life is chaotic. Have you experienced it, do you feel empathy?
Every woman pursues self and independence, and stay-at-home mothers should not forget to achieve a better self, so that they can make life more directional and more powerful.
1. Continuous learning and improvement
In today's rapid information update and rapid progress of the times, if you do not study, you will fall behind and cannot keep up with the rhythm of social development. Stay-at-home mothers leave the workplace, less opportunities to socialize, and if they do not study, it is inevitable to derail with society and the times.
Only by constantly understanding the external environment and enriching yourself through the Internet or books can you constantly improve yourself, and once you return to the workplace, you will be prepared to return to the society.
2. Maintain a peaceful attitude
After becoming a mother, because of the trivialities of life, because of the raising and education of children, there will be many unprepared things, and inexperienced mothers will inevitably be restless. When paying without the approval of the family and the thoughtfulness of the husband, the psychological imbalance, emotional fluctuations, inevitable complaints and negativity.
It is necessary to understand that whether it is taking care of the baby at home and taking care of the housework or making money to support the family in the workplace, it is the embodiment of the family's dedication and self-worth. Understanding these, it is easy to maintain a peaceful state of mind, and the process of accompanying and caring for children's growth is also the process of precipitating themselves.
3. Make emotional links with your husband
Once the family has a child, the mother pays more attention to the child and always revolves around the child. There is less communication and exchange between husband and wife, coupled with a tense life, there is no time freedom, and many wives are irritable because of their husbands' incomprehension and non-sharing, and even frequent contradictions.
As a wife, you should actively mobilize the enthusiasm of your husband, and let him participate in the activities of taking care of the baby and doing housework at the right time. Only by participating can we understand the difficulty of being a mother, but also enhance the sense of responsibility for the family and enhance the feelings of husband and wife, of course, all through good communication and tolerance.
4. Increase the circle of life
After becoming a mother, I only circle around the child and the family every day, and even if I talk to people, I can't do without the topic of the child. The scope of life is very narrow, it is easy to look at the problem one-sidedly, and it is not conducive to educating children by affecting itself.
You can appropriately go out of the family to increase the circle of life, communicate with like-minded friends, and participate in some public activities, so that your horizons will be broadened, your mood will be broadened, and the height of dealing with people will also be improved.
Pillow Parenting Message:
Every mother was once a pampered princess, but with the identity of a mother, she shouldered the responsibility. For the healthy growth of their children, in order to educate him to be an excellent person, and for the sake of a happier family, mothers do not hesitate to sacrifice themselves and forget themselves. But I am afraid to say that even if you are a mother, don't forget to improve yourself, don't be imprisoned by the family, strive to achieve a better self, and enhance self-confidence is also a positive impact on your child! Happy Goddess Day to every mom! ”
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