Mother-in-law relationship has always been a difficult problem to avoid in marriage, which involves how women from two different families communicate, and involves how two women of different ages coexist, although the happiness of marriage depends on both husband and wife, but in actual practice, the direction of mother-in-law relationship will also affect or even determine the trend development of marriage, therefore, pay attention to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has also become a compulsory course in marriage.
Although we hope that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be harmonious, but in many families, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is facing a tense situation, even if the marriage is divorced due to some factors, the hatred between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is still difficult to release, as the saying goes: it is not appropriate to settle the knot, once the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law deteriorates, the ultimate impact may not only be the family, but even innocent children.
Wan Li (pseudonym) approached the reporter hoping to get justice for her, she said that since she and her ex-husband divorced for more than a year, she has not seen her 4-year-old son in kindergarten for more than half a year, all because her in-laws have obstructed it.
The ex-husband not only blocked her mobile phone number, but also cared that the kindergarten teacher did not allow Wanli to come to visit her son, so Wanli could only look at her son's back from a distance through the kindergarten fence, but Wanli took out a divorce agreement, which clearly stipulated that Wanli had the right to visit the child, and she could also freely take her son out to play on holidays, but when it was implemented, everything changed.
Wan Li said that the number of times she has seen her son since the divorce is countless, and she claims that before seeing her son, as long as the son cries, then the former mother-in-law will not visit her child again, and Wanli believes that the in-laws have no contract spirit.
In order to help Wan Li coordinate the contradiction, the reporter followed her to the man's home, the former mother-in-law Hu Aiping (pseudonym) was taking the grandson, saw The wan li came to the door, hurriedly hid the grandson behind him and closed the door, seeing this situation, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law immediately broke out into a fierce quarrel.
Wan Li accused Hu Aiping of not letting her see the child, that is, to threaten her and her ex-husband to remarry, saying, Wan Li took out a text message sent to her by Hu Aiping before, the text message showed that Hu Aiping confessed to her mistake, hoping that she could go home and remarry her son in the face of her grandson.
In this regard, Hu Aiping denied it, she said that she did not look up to Wanli's daughter-in-law at all, and her son was also determined not to divorce her, and she also persuaded her son not to be too desperate out of kindness, but her son had already made up his mind, and he would not want Wanli this woman, and she had no way.
In addition, Hu Aiping also said in front of the reporter that her son did not lack women at all, after the divorce, there was a single unmarried woman in her twenties nearby who wanted to marry his son, but considering that the other party had not been married, afraid of harming others, so his son politely refused the other party's pursuit, speaking of this, Hu Aiping bluntly said that her son was very popular, and he and his son did not have the luxury of asking Wanli to come back, and begging her to remarry was completely nonsense.
As for the problem of refusing to let Wanli come to see the child, Hu Aiping explained that it was because every time Wanli came to see her grandson, she would denigrate her and her son, which made her intolerable, in order to confirm that what she said was true, Hu Aiping took out a mobile phone call recording with Wanli.
In the call recording, Wanli claimed that she was poor and loved the rich, and had found a boyfriend who was 3 years younger than herself, the boyfriend had a house and a car and had good economic conditions, and was dismissive of her ex-husband, at the same time, Wanli emphasized that she was still young, Hu Aiping's son had physical defects, and she did not want to be widowed at a young age, which was the reason why she was determined to divorce.
For the accusations of the former mother-in-law Hu Aiping, Wan Li gave a different explanation, she admitted that the reluctance to stay widowed is one of the important reasons for her divorce, but not the only reason, Wan Li said that her ex-husband is the only man in the family, and listens to her parents, has no opinion, is a full mother treasure man, and always told her that her mother raised him is not easy, suffered a lot, and hopes that Wanli can honor Hu Aiping well.
Wan Li thinks that her ex-husband's requirements are inexplicable, Hu Aiping is not easy to raise her ex-husband is not good, but there is no grace for her, why should she take this affection, the ex-husband can go to honor her mother, but there is no need to kidnap her feelings, she is very disgusted with such a mother treasure man.
And after she divorced her ex-husband, Wan Li accused Hu Aiping of always liking to hold her son in front of her relatives, friends and neighbors, crying with a handful of snot and tears, complaining that the child was too pitiful, and denouncing her for being irresponsible, too cruel, and not considering the family, which caused her to feel huge public pressure, and she deeply resented the practice of her former mother-in-law.
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law could not reach an agreement, even if the village cadres tried to persuade both sides to no avail, Hu Aiping was angry and bluntly said that if Wanli had been smearing her and her son in this way, then don't want to look at her grandson, anyway, the task of passing on her son's inheritance has been completed, Wanli has lost its use value, she does not want Wanli to come to see her grandson from her heart, saving her grandson brainwashing.
After the persuasion of reporters and village cadres, Hu Aiping said that she could agree to Wanli coming to see the child, but Wanli must sincerely apologize in the face of the previous words that slandered her, especially to clarify in public whether her son has physical defects, otherwise she will not be discussed.
In order to see her son normally, Wan Li had to apologize to her former mother-in-law, but avoided the problem of her ex-husband's physical defects, but she added a sentence "I hope Hu Aiping will not hold her son around in front of her relatives and cry with a handful of snot and tears", but this sentence annoyed Hu Aiping.
Hu Aiping said that she did not hold her grandson in front of Wanli's relatives at all, she did not even know where her relatives' home was, and if Wanli did not clarify this sentence, the child still could not visit her.
Hu Aiping's tough stance once again made Wanli feel indignant, the atmosphere that was not easy to ease became tense again, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law broke out again, and finally, Hu Aiping took her grandson to ride on an electric car and left on the grounds that she was going to cook for the daughter of the confinement, ignoring Wanli, and the two sides finally did not reach an agreement on this issue.
As the mother of the child, although Wan Li divorced her ex-husband, she has the right to visit her child normally, and any premise cannot be denied, not to mention that the two parties have made clear the right to visit the child in the divorce agreement, and Hu Aiping, as a mother-in-law, should not be embarrassed, in addition to intensifying the contradictions and disputes between the two sides, it is of no benefit to each other.
As a woman, there is nothing wrong with Wanli wanting to pursue her own physical and psychological happiness, but we cannot verify her allegations that her ex-husband has physical problems, but even so, from her accusations, we know that she is dissatisfied with her husband, otherwise she would not file for divorce.
Of course, judging from the remarks of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the two sides have their own opinions, Wanli complains about her dissatisfaction with her ex-husband and ex-mother-in-law, and the mother-in-law is also comparing the remarks of the former daughter-in-law, but in any case, since the relationship between the two sides has long been dissolved, complaining to each other, hurting each other and accusing each other will not help solve the problem, it will only make the already tense relationship worse, and in the end, in addition to exacerbating the tense relationship between each other, the most pitiful and innocent is Wanli's 4-year-old son.
On the one hand, raising their own grandmother, on the other hand, they are raising their own mother, two close relatives are in the same situation, leaving a serious psychological shadow on the 4-year-old child, this quarrel is actually indirectly forcing the child to choose the side, no matter which side to support is their own difficult entanglement, family affection is facing tearing.
No matter what reason Wanli divorced at the beginning, and whether Wanli's accusations are based on truth, it may be difficult for the two parties to reach an agreement on the exploration of this issue, and the two sides should agree on the problem of the child, and strive to find the greatest common denominator, since there is no chance to become a family, then it is good to get together and disperse, and it is the best place to go well.
Hu Aiping, as a former mother-in-law, should also make it clear that as an elder, not only should not be generally calculated with the juniors such as the former daughter-in-law, but also the elderly intervene to comment on the marriage of the younger generations, which is also very disgusting to young people, believing that the elderly elders have invaded their own privacy space.
If the elderly do not realize this and think that what they are doing is for the happiness of the younger generation, then this self-righteous and long-arm jurisdiction has obviously separated from the root of the problem and mixed up the marriage of the younger generation, as the saying goes: the children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, blindly interfering in and protecting the younger generations, will only make him lose the ability to deal with practical marriage problems, and completely become a flower in the greenhouse.
I hope that Hu Aiping as a former mother-in-law can be magnanimous, not because of some insignificant issues on the line, although the marriage between the son and daughter-in-law has broken down, but the child still needs fatherly love and maternal love, can not be because of the enmity between adults and deprive the child of the mother's love should enjoy, which is not good for the child's growth, but also a serious violation of the legitimate rights of the child's mother, as an elder, should play a role in lubricating the contradiction, more really In addition to satisfying the small sense of dignity in their hearts, the handling of human relations is obviously far away. Maybe you don't need a daughter-in-law, but a grandson needs a mother and a mother.
Do you think it makes sense for former mother-in-law Hu Aiping not to let her former daughter-in-law Wanli come to see her children? Welcome to leave a message to discuss, thank you!
Wen | Peida
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