"When the water is full, it overflows, and the moon is lacking."
In many things, people are actually "extremely opposite".
The better you are to a person, the more the other person does not know how to cherish; a thing that can make you get a short pleasure, the more you indulge in it, the easier it is to lose yourself.
Psychologists once did an experiment:
Keep the 3 cats in 3 small rooms.
First cat: Just press the button and there will be a steady stream of food.
Second Cat: The reward is random, with 10 presses, there will be 4 occurrences of food and 6 times without food.
Third cat: No matter how the button is pressed, no food appears.
The results showed that the second cat that pressed the button most frequently was the one.
This was followed by the third cat and finally the first cat.
This experiment shows that:
When the same stimulus is constantly generated, it tends to reduce the subject's expectations and freshness.
And in love, this is also the truth.
The more love you put in, the more the other person doesn't know how to cherish it; and maintaining the same level of love often makes the other person "bored."
That is what we often call "like the new and dislike the old".
-01
Why do people "like the new and dislike the old" in their feelings?
From the perspective of psychology, people are prone to like the new and dislike the old in many things, half-hearted.
Coolidge Effect.
There is a "Coolidge effect" in evolutionary psychology.
In nature, males and females tend to feel less fresh to each other after mating.
Males constantly look for the rest of the females, and some of the females make the same choice.
In the animal world, males are constantly mating with more females in order to reproduce.
And this effect is also used in the feelings between people.
Freshness + passion often affect a person's loyalty and concentration towards feelings.
Another psychological effect is called the "Gurizhi effect."
It refers to the fact that male animals often have different behaviors, and many mammals have been tested to verify this conclusion.
For human feelings, when dealing with the opposite sex, our feelings are often affected by dopamine and hormones.
If you live with the same person for a long time, your inner perception will decrease over time.
Whether it is mental or physical, it will feel "tired".
Once there is another person in life who can attract him to the opposite sex, then this person is likely to be half-hearted.
-02
From the perspective of personal psychology, why do people like the new and dislike the old?
First: fluctuations in emotional thresholds
You get sick and have to go vegetarian every day.
Insist on eating vegetarian food for half a month, you feel that you can no longer stand it, feel tasteless, and see the vegetarian heart is afraid.
At this time, if you can eat a meal of meat, then you will feel comfortable with the whole person.
This is where the threshold changes.
The same food, the same stimulus, placed in front of you every day, tends to lower your inner expectations.
When your inner threshold is lowered, once another stimulus appears, your passion and curiosity will be fully mobilized.
Why would some people be unfaithful to their partners in their relationships?
It is nothing more than: the expectations and thresholds for the partner are reduced, and the freshness is lost.
And this passion is suddenly ignited by another person, if this person's sense of morality and responsibility are relatively low, he is easy to do wrong.
Second: the "passivation" of vision and perception
What is "emotional blunting"?
Simply put: staring at the same person for a long time and only touching one person a day makes you less sensitive.
You stare at the same flower every day, and over time, no matter how beautiful and fragrant this flower is, you will get tired of it.
Do the same thing with your lover every day, say the same thing, and over time, your perception will decrease.
This tells us:
If you want to keep the freshness in love and create more beauty with your lover, you must work together to find the unknown in life.
Constantly explore, challenge, and contact new things.
Only by constantly trying, the feelings of two people can always be kept fresh.
Fromm mentions a point in The Art of Love.
"The ability to appreciate beauty and love is not innate, but a high-level ability that needs to be constantly learned and felt."
In the animal world, between males and females, there are more mate choices, choices.
But the biggest difference between humans and animals is that people have a sense of reason, morality, a sense of responsibility, and self-belief.
With such a big difference, it will naturally constrain a person's rationality and behavior in feelings.
When you feel that there is a problem with your relationship with your lover, you may wish to try to slow down.
Find out the problem to solve the problem.
The continuation and stability of all love are inseparable from the common investment and efforts of two people.
Today's Topic:
Why do you think people "like the new and hate the old"?
(Article with picture source network)