As parents, many people always feel that they have worked hard to raise their children too much. If the child is disobedient and talks back to himself, he will be particularly angry, thinking that the child does not understand the Zhi En Tu and is sorry for himself.
For example, if you urge your child to do his homework quickly, and he is still playing there, you can't help but roar in anger: "If you don't do your homework again, you are not allowed to eat!" But the child did not want to show weakness and shouted in his throat: "My own business, I arrange it myself, you leave it alone!" ”
The child's mouth will suddenly make your blood pressure soar, and you don't want to cook. I thought to myself, "This bear child doesn't understand the pain of his parents, and his parents are thinking about his future, so why doesn't he understand?" It's really angry! ”
Most parents always think that other people's children are so obedient, never talk back to their parents, it is really a good child, how easy it is to raise such a child, how happy.
In fact, it is not necessarily a good thing that children do not resist their mouths. The gap between the "back-talking" child and the "non-verbal" child is very large twenty years later, which surprises many parents.
01
The child resists, and it is the awakening of the autonomous consciousness
Some children begin a series of behaviors of "talking back" by the age of two or three. For example: go to the mall, you choose to buy something he doesn't want, say, "That's not good, I want this." ”
Watching TV, you say, "Watch the learning channel and get more knowledge." He said, "Learn, learn, learn, make people stupid?" I don't like that channel. ”
The phenomenon of "talking back" fills parents and children with the smell of gunpowder. Parents feel headaches: "If this continues, how will children survive in the future?" ”
In fact, the child's "counter-talk" is a manifestation of the rebellious period. Normal children have this performance, indicating that the child's self-awareness and dignity have awakened. They have a sense of independence and begin to think about arranging their own lives and studies.
A child said: "Parents always feel that they are greedy, but I am not a learning machine, I want to play when I am tired, relax and relax, that is the adjustment of my body and mind." ”
Twenty years later, you stumbled upon this phenomenon:
Children who love to "resist" when they are young grow up to be more independent. They behave vigorously, are very decisive, can be independent, have a strong sense of autonomy, and are easy to be promoted and reused by leaders.
And those children who, under the pressure of their parents, are more and more afraid to "resist", and when they reach the society, they behave only as promises, and their sense of autonomy is particularly poor.
Always look at the eyes and faces of others to do things, dare not express their own views, indecisive and look forward, think more and be afraid of this and that.
Others roared and trembled with fear, acted without opinion everywhere, were very dependent, and just wanted to be a well-behaved person, mix up the work, and get paid. It was really humbling and breathless to live.
Therefore, for the children's "back-up", parents should not be regarded as a great rebellion and suppressed, otherwise the buds of the children's self-consciousness that have just emerged will be suppressed and deformed. When he grew up, he became completely unconsceived, did not dare to express his ideas and "disappeared from the crowd".
Children do not obey and love to "resist", not without education, deliberately opposed, do not understand the pain of their parents, but want to find themselves in the confrontation with their parents, and get the opportunity to grow independently. From a young age, I know how to be independent and autonomous, and I will have a distinct personality in the future, dare to be bold, and it is easy to grow into a talent.
02
Children resist and are creative performances
Some time ago, a particularly significant case occurred. In the painting peiyou class, there was a child who listened to the teacher's lectures and always drew strange paintings with ingenuity.
The teacher said he shouldn't be so out of the ordinary and scribble at will. But the child said back: "That's how painting is interesting, it's fun, you're too rigid." ”
There have been many "back-talking" incidents, and the teacher has moved roughly, forcing the child to draw according to his own will. When the parents found out, they sued the teacher, saying that she had stifled their child's creativity, demanded a refund, and compensated.
Parents who sue are wise enough to protect their children's creativity. They know that exceptional talent is very creative.
Teachers should not suppress the child's "back", if so, it is to block the children's wisdom fountain in the teaching process.
Although sometimes the children's "back-up" is incomprehensible, it is the initial manifestation of their open-mindedness.
Let them express themselves freely, the fountain of wisdom can gush out, and after twenty years, they can absorb the strengths of a hundred families, become their own faction, unique, and become a rare creative talent.
In fact, "talking back" is a breakthrough in children's thinking, a breakthrough in various limitations, and unconsciously improves the level of children's thinking ability.
Children who love "back-mouthing" are often creative explosions, although ugly but extraordinary, as parents must laugh at the children's "back-mouth", allow appropriate existence, and give their creativity a way out.
Twenty years from now, parents will find that children who love to "talk back" are like Wei Dongyi, a mathematical genius at Peking University, who are different and particularly creative, far ahead of others and even the entire era. Children who do not like to "resist" and follow the rules are often in order, do not dare to break the routine and are very mediocre.
03
The reticent child is the need for self-gifting
The famous educator Liu Yong was strict with his child Liu Xuan from an early age.
He always asked Liu Xuan to do what he asked, but Liu Xuan always "resisted" and did not do what his father asked, and both sides were very angry.
One day, Liu Yong asked him why he was so rebellious. Liu Xuan said boldly, "Because I think I have grown up, I shouldn't listen to you for everything." So you tell me to go left, I'm to the right, I have my own ideas, where should I find myself!"
Later, Liu Xuan studied psychology according to his own interests and grew into an outstanding psychologist.
There is an old saying: "Sometimes there must be in fate, but there is no time to demand in fate." That is to say, some things are predestined in the dark, and parents cannot force it to come, so they can only be guided by nature and do not let the children go astray.
For example, if a child's interest and talent is to draw, you force him to learn music, which may kill a good painter in the future and give the world an extra mediocre music staff.
Many geniuses become geniuses because they dare to "talk back" with their parents or teachers, stick to their ideas, follow their talents, and actively move toward their goals.
They are like a stream in the mountains, running freely on their own talent track, their potential has been fully exerted, and finally they have grown into outstanding talents.
Children who dare not "talk back" with their parents or teachers will eventually be suppressed in their talents, lose themselves, and live according to the rules as the elders demand.
Sometimes, the children's "back talk" is that their internal talent and potential are shouting, sending out the voice of the soul, the voice of instinct, parents must understand their voice and connotation, can not act hastily, suppressing their talent, instinct and potential.
In short, as a parent, talk to your children to be equal, not confrontational. On non-principled issues, children should be allowed to "resist their mouths" and should not be regarded as "resisting" as a flood of beasts and anxiously suppress them.
Many examples show that twenty years later, children who love "back" are better than children who do not love "back" in all aspects - they have successful careers, distinct personalities and unique charms, and their lives are brilliant.
Author: Mr. Senmei
Family affairs, state affairs, world affairs, a little knowledge of one or two; worry about the glass heart, explain three or four.
People have a thousand faces, things have everything, the world under the tip of the iceberg is the real world of undercurrents, and life needs to see through the eyes of illusions.
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