Xuan Yan
Psychologist Liu Xuan's room for progress
When it comes to my father's influence on me, I believe many people can see it at a glance.
No matter what he looks like, the voice he speaks, the words he uses, the tone, I have a lot of his shadow in me. Even my sister looked a lot like him, and her friend exclaimed, "Your dad's genes are too strong!" But apart from these innate causes, I think the biggest impact was the "concept of work" that he brought with me when I was growing up.
Many people have the impression that the father should get up in the morning, go to work on time, and return home at about the same time in the evening, with a distinction between "outside work" and "family life".
But my father was a freelance creator. Home is his office. In my memory, my father didn't have any early departures and late returns, and seemed to be at home all the time, so I often laughed at him as a "big otaku".
But he also said that don't look at him dangling around in his pajamas, leisurely drinking coffee and reading the newspaper, in fact, his head has not stopped since he got up! Whether it's his next article or his next painting, he's always conceiving and thinking about it, so much so that when he walks into the study and closes the door, he can immediately put down his pen. He didn't seem to be working much, but he was always working.
For better or for worse, this attitude has affected me a lot. This "no work boundary" state of life requires a family member who can cooperate and be considerate, and also requires a high degree of self-discipline.
My father used to say, "To be the most creative, you have to live a regular life." The young me did not agree with this sentence, after all, the inspiration is outside, how can I capture these beauty without going to exile and wandering? But now I have found that when creation becomes a professional ecology, you must control the rhythm of life to be able to reliably find the muse in your heart. So now I am more and more able to understand the necessity of "home".
Another conceptual influence is that "one person can do several things well."
The recent buzzword "slash" is defined as "turning a hobby into a profession." When a person operates several professional identities at the same time, and each can generate income, it is considered a slash life, not just an amateur player.
In this way, my father is really a slash grandfather, and there are not only two or three lines, but these identities are not separate, but connected to each other, for example, when he was a reporter when he was young, he applied for fees with the TV station, went to Europe to interview and produce a series of "European art journey" reports, took the opportunity to visit the art holy places that he had heard about in the art department before, and later the record report also won awards, and the governor gave him more program opportunities.
In order to host the puzzle program "Every Second Counts", he wrote many inspirational opening remarks, became his own editor, and published it himself, becoming his first best-selling book "Fluorescent Whispers".
I think it is this "two birds with one stone" attitude that allows him to create so many achievements in different fields, which is very different from "one heart and two uses"! In recent years, I have only come to understand the differences between them. Killing two birds with one stone can create a slash life. Combining two purposes will only accelerate energy depletion.
My father would often ask me about some of the subjects I had studied, including the results of some experiments I had talked about a long time ago, and he would remember them. The conversation between the two of us is often more than "whose information is newer", and sometimes there is a fierce debate at the dinner table. But these debates are "fun", we will be loud, but not tantrum, after all, can complement each other, make thinking more complete, in any case is interesting.
My father's life experience, and the scriptures he was best at, could also make my theories more flesh-and-blood. But it must be said that my previous training at the institute would have made me more rigorous. For example, I would remind him, "You can't just believe in the good things about your body!" Look at the opposite research data, there are two sides to everything, and there is evidence for both sides." But then my dad put his hands on one side: "I just love coffee!" What can you argue with such people?
In the past, I didn't want to be called a "writer" to death. Who wants to carry the baggage of this second generation of Wen? Well written, people say it's taken for granted. It is not well written, and people say "ginger is still old and spicy". But what to do? Unconsciously, consciously or unconsciously, I am now on a very similar path. You said that inheritance or fate, now that you have experienced the bitterness of it, you are more admired from the bottom of your heart, and the father and son have an extra layer of understanding.
Just a few days ago, my father asked Master to come to the house to do tuina (his regular schedule every Monday), and I happened to pass by the room, saw him lying on the massage table, and shouted, "Hey, Dad."
He said, "Is my son all right?" Just by listening to your voice, Lao Tzu knows you're tired today."
I replied, "Oh! I'm rushing to get the draft!" Add, "Just like you were then!"
He laughed and laughed so much that he was out of breath. I laughed along with it, like two men laughing when they complain about their boss in a bar after work.
"Good!" The father said, "Does the son want to massage?" Daddy treats you!"
Invitation letter
This weekend is Father's Day, and every time I go on this day, I can't help but think of the little things between father and son – of course, the media always asks me on this day, which is also a big incentive (*̄) ̄).
My father is really a very "strange" father, since I was a child, he deliberately asked me to do some "strange things": such as suddenly being thrown on the streets of New York to ask strangers for time, going to the countryside to play but catching locusts for me to eat, and also asking me to write records, such as deliberately helping me choose a school more than 100 miles away from home, causing me to take 3 hours on the road every day to reverse the car, such as letting me put my hand into the mud he reconciled...
He is also a well-known "strict father", demanding that I can't be afraid of losing, and I can't cry casually, because people who are afraid of losing have no pattern, and when they cry, they are less vigilant. He told me, "When you hit your right eye, your left eye is open." And "you can only succeed, you can't fail."
In retrospect, there are too many father-son stories worth recalling (tu) and remembering (cao), but at the same time he is also the man who influenced me the most.
Today, before Father's Day, not only do I talk, I also want to ask you to talk about your father, there are three interview questions, choose one of the three questions, if you want to answer them all, you are also very welcome!
1. What was dad's biggest influence on your life?
2. When do you think dad is old?
3. If you could travel back in time, what year would you like to travel back in and say something to your dad at that time?
Welcome to long press to identify the following QR code, leave a message in the message area (welcome to use the voice message Oh, let me hear your voice).
This Saturday, Father's Day, I will compile a selection of everyone's messages and officially release them as a special program for Father's Day.
Thank you all, we'll see you tomorrow!
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