I had a low-key but intelligent mother. Because of my mother's low profile, I don't say much about her.
However, many people along the way were curious about what my mother's story was. A while ago, a friend left a message saying, "You have a very successful father, but I would like to know more about your mother." There is a successful father and son in the family, and your mother is absolutely indispensable, and I want to hear how your mother runs the family. ”
In fact, for more than a year, because of the epidemic, my mother and I were separated, but we still talked on the phone every day. A lot of the conversation is about some daily life of chai rice oil and salt trivia, sometimes talking about how her little grandchildren and granddaughters have been doing recently. And the small stories about my childhood and my mother, usually do not deliberately tell, but they have shaped me bit by bit.
This picture is of my mother holding me at our first home. The home was next to a train track in Taipei, when the family's economy was not too good, and as soon as the small house train passed, you could see the dust from the ceiling being shaken down. When I flipped through this photo a while ago, there were a lot of memories that came up at once, and I felt a lot of feelings.
Mother's Day is coming, and today, let me return to the role of a son, simply to talk about my mother and my story, and the impact she has brought to me.
01
When I was five years old, my father decided to go on a trip to the United States, carrying two suitcases alone, to Virginia as an exchange artist. Before leaving, I will say the next sentence: If the mixture is good, take the whole family over.
So for three years, I didn't see my father, but every year there was another person coming, and that was Santa Claus. Every Christmas, I especially look forward to santa claus. I will always remember that one year, I got up very early, ran under the little Christmas tree, and saw the gift that Santa Claus gave me, and a letter!
When my mother got up, I ran over excitedly and said, "Mom, Santa Claus came last night!" But strangely enough, the letter he wrote to me was the same as the one in your drawer.
My mother said, "Oh! Because he ran out of letters when he came last night, he borrowed letters from his mother.
I asked again: But Mom, his writing is also like yours!
I forget how my mother replied at the time, did not reply or answered the question, but for the little me, I am willing to believe that Santa Claus really came.
Friends who have read my books probably have the impression that in almost every book, I will talk about Santa Claus or two, which has a lot to do with my mother's deception of me with this white lie for a long time, and because Christmas has a special meaning for me.
During those years when my father was away, it was a great comfort and a belief.
Therefore, I think that in daily life, try to keep a dream for children, a space full of hope, so that he has something to believe in, to sustenance, is a very important educational method, my mother taught me this, I also treat my two children the same.
Later, my father brought the whole family to the United States, and at that time he began to teach at the university, and also taught some foreigners to paint traditional Chinese paintings. I remember one night when I couldn't sleep, I ran from my second-floor bedroom downstairs and saw the lights in the basement on. I looked down the narrow staircase in the basement and saw my parents kneeling on the ground, leaning against the boiler, pounding in the dim light.
Because at that time, in addition to teaching foreigners to paint, my father would also carve seals or frame them for them, and earn a few yuan and a dozen yuan. Because the basement has a boiler and is the driest place in the house, it is the best for mounting, and they work overtime together at night.
I didn't make a sound, stood silently for a long time, turned around and went upstairs again to sleep. That night, I felt like I had grown up a little bit. The picture of my parents working hard together, fighting side by side for the sake of the family and the future, was deeply rooted in my mind and affected many of my views on life and marriage.
It was my mother, my father's wife, who taught me life lessons.
02
When I first arrived in the United States, my family was actually quite poor, I remember that the family had a newspaper, and the Newspaper on Sunday was particularly thick, thick and thick, because there were a lot of discount coupons in it, and it could be discounted to buy something in the supermarket. So, there was a very common scene, I sat at the family dinner table, watching my mother cut these coupons, one by one, folded very neatly, and then she would drive the family's very shabby car and take me to a supermarket far from home to buy things.
After arriving at the supermarket, my mother and I pushed a shopping cart, each holding a thick stack of discount coupons, according to the name of the product written on it to find, after finding it, I took it down and put it in the car, and when the car was full, I pushed and pushed all the way, back to my mother, she would say: Wow, son, you are so good!
We had fun together, she pushed her car, I pushed my car, and we went to checkout together. When I think about it now, it was a very sweet memory. Although the family was financially tight at that time, my mother did not make me feel that the family was poor, but made me happy, which made me very grateful.
And because of these coupons, I also knew a lot of strange and various American foods, such as a kind of canned pasta, a soft chocolate chip cookie, and some of which I still love to eat, which surprised my friends around me, why I liked to eat this cheap food, but at that time, when I was a child, when I was eating, I felt rich.
Even if the family is poor, it is still necessary to work hard, and it can make the child feel love and abundance, which is another lesson taught to me by my mother.
At that time, my mother took a job in the admissions department of St. John's University, first as a secretary for others, and by the time she retired, she already had 40 secretaries. These foreign aunts were white, black, Latin American, all kinds of backgrounds, and when I went to the office to find my mother, they would greet me: Hi Xuan! That feeling is really great!
I remember sitting on the floor of my house with my mother once, and she dragged out a big suitcase and opened it, and inside were all kinds of small boxes, and there were jade pendants and Chinese knots in the boxes, which were the kind of things you could buy in any gift shop. My mother must have bought a bunch of them in Taipei before coming to the United States. When it was time for the New Year's Festival, she found some from her suitcase to send to her friends, including her secretaries.
I remember sitting on the floor with her, watching her pick and choose and say: This seems to fit Carol, that jade pendant should fit Rita... Because I know all these aunts, I will discuss them with her.
Whenever my mother picked out one and decided who to give it to, we put it in a small box, and then I wrote their names on it with a note of paper, cut out the wrapping paper, and wrapped the gift with my mother.
It was a very teachable process for me at the time, because we were talking about how to make others feel good and make the mood happier. As the saying goes, it is better to give than to receive, right? How we take our children along, design some surprises for others, and let children see how we can make others happy, this is a great example.
For example, in the New Year, my community will prepare red envelopes to send to the property administrators and cleaning staff, and if I see anyone who has not yet given the red envelope, I will say: Hey, who is in the parking lot today, we haven't given him the red envelope yet. I asked Chikawa to take the red envelope to the other party himself, and when they came back, I found that their smiles were very bright and very happy.
So, teaching children to learn how to make others feel happy and feel good in these small things is also a lesson that my mother taught me.
03
The last story is that my mother gave me a very special graduation anniversary.
When I first arrived in the United States, my English was so bad that I could only write d in English letters. On the first day of class, the foreign teacher gave me a piece of paper, a pencil, pointed to the place where the circle was drawn on the blackboard and said, copy, copy, I understand what she means, is to copy those words down. But because I didn't know a word of English, I could only draw those shapes like A drawing.
When I got home, I showed the paper to my parents, and they read it for half a day before they saw that it said "homework." That's how I started learning.
Later, I have been studying in the United States, and when I graduated from Harvard University, my parents came to the school to attend the graduation ceremony, and I wore my graduation clothes, which was a very glorious moment! That night, my mother gave me a file folder and said, "Son, look what this is."
I opened it and found a small piece of paper with the words "homework" written crookedly on it. Of course I remember this piece of paper, the one I had drawn on my first day of elementary school and didn't know anything in English.
The mother then said: Look at this road, you have come here! It's fun to put this piece of paper with your Harvard diploma now!
Although the words are easy to say, I am really grateful to my mother for keeping this paper, and I am very touched!
Therefore, when we are growing up with children, when there is one thing that is very touching, you must record it, save it for your children, and show them when they grow up one day, it must be a very heartwarming moment!
After listening to these stories, you can probably imagine what kind of personality my mother was. In the last year, because of the epidemic, I have been in Taiwan, and my mother is in New York, where she has lived a very different life and has hardly been out of the house for more than a year.
When I called recently, my mother said: When I lived in Taiwan before, it seemed that I had never been anywhere, not even Ye Liu!
After the phone call, I was thinking, why? Maybe that's my mother's personality, she's very easygoing, if the people around me say: Let's go somewhere together. She was happy to go along, but maybe she never asked me from her own point of view what I wanted and what would make her happy! To the mother, it seems that the happiness of the family is her happiness!
As a son, I hope that after the epidemic is over, my mother will return to Taiwan, and I can take her around to see, play, and enjoy life.
I'd love to get up every morning and ask my mother, "Mom, what do you want to do today?" Instead of saying, as she said before: Look at what you want to do today.
I want my mother to say to me: Son, I want to eat a Peking duck today, to eat a bowl of noodles, I want to go to wild willow to see the sea, I want to climb a mountain, I want to breathe in Phytonta.
I wish my mother could say what she wanted to do in the moment, and that I was the one who could fulfill her wishes with her.
But if she really doesn't have any ideas, or say: Where your son wants to go, your mother will follow, and whatever you want to eat, I will eat with you. I wouldn't be surprised, because this is indeed her personality, so let me arrange it.
Every time I was with my mother, I took her to live, there was no psychological pressure, no matter how the day passed, I always saw her very happy in it. She enjoys it because we all enjoy it.
Thank you, Mom! I hope that in the future, I will have the opportunity to let my son take you out to play, so please write down a list of what you want to do, what you want to see, and your son will take you to achieve it. But if you really don't know, it doesn't matter, then just follow your son!
Thank you, Mom! Although you are always unassuming, I can always feel the warm power you give to my son. This makes me a father of two children, but as long as you are there, I will always be the lucky, loved son. Thank you so much for growing in your love and for continuing to carry on this warmth.
Thank you, Mom! I love you！ Bless all the mothers of the world, you are the greatest people!