Liu Yong: The best way to let a child grow is to let him find himself

Liu Yong, a well-known best-selling author, is also a successful father.

His son Liu Xuan is a doctor at Harvard University, and the youngest daughter, Liu Yifan, graduated from Columbia University, a Ivy League university in the United States. In terms of education, Liu Yong has his own unique and distinct concept of "godson".

Spider-Man has a classic line, I believe many people still remember: the greater the ability, the greater the responsibility (With great power comes great responsibility), which is for people who have gained strong ability, but for an immature child, this sentence should be reversed: the greater the responsibility, the greater the ability.

As the saying goes, "the children of the poor are in charge of the house", isn't that what it means?

Therefore, people do not mature in "love", but in "giving", and the more they give to others, the more they will care, and the easier it is to grow.

Today we take a look at how Liu Yong helped his children to mature.

-01-

Do you know why children rebel?

Is that because he can't find where he is?

"Do you know why I was so rebellious in high school?" Liu Xuan said to me, "Because I think I've grown up, I shouldn't listen to you." So you tell me to go left, I'm going to go right, I have my own ideas, I should find myself where I am! ”

"Did you find it?" I asked him.

"Still looking." Then he tilted his head and said very unconvincedly, "Because you won't let me find it myself!" ”

"How are you going to find it yourself?"

"Go wandering." He said out loud, "You know what? I have a classmate, an Aristocrat of England, who graduated from High School in Eaton. In Eaton, you usually wear a tuxedo, which is strict enough! But last year he went to Australia alone to herd sheep. I also have two classmates who have backpacked this year and gone on a self-guided trip to India. I just got a call from them and said that I had come back alive. As soon as they arrived in India, they encountered heavy rain, the water on the street flooded their knees, and the corpses of human dung and small animals floated everywhere, they vomited and poured for two weeks, and even ran to an uninhabited island for a few days. ”

"Addicted? Almost killed! ”

"Of course, it's fun, after all, this is their own trip, not following their parents, staying in a big hotel, riding in a black car, eating a big restaurant." They looked for their own characterization, and they found it! ”

I froze for a moment and smiled, "Good! Leave it to yourself this summer, find it yourself! Coincidentally, this year, you are going to raise funds for the Delan Qizhi Center in Tainan, and if you are interested, you can go to the event yourself. You don't have to give a speech with me anymore, just pick your own! You don't have to live at home, find your own place to live! To emphasize, "Whether you go or not is up to you, it has nothing to do with me!" ”

-02-

You may not be able to escape the shadow of others for the rest of your life,

But most importantly, don't live in your own shadow.

In the early morning of June 20, Liu Xuan flew to Taoyuan Zhongzheng Airport. I didn't pick him up, he took the bus to Taipei, and at noon he got on a plane to Kaohsiung to give a speech in Wenzao. Then rushed to Tainan to meet with the Shui Changliu Company, which hosted the fundraising campaign, and took the last flight back to Taipei.

Probably the day before was too tired, his face was not very good, I asked him how he felt about going out alone.

He actually had a look of disbelief and said, "Strange! Everyone calls me Liu Yong's son, why do I always have to live in your shadow? I still don't have myself! ”

I smiled again and patted him: "Remember! You may not be able to escape the shadow of others for the rest of your life, but most importantly, don't live in your own shadow. ”

Two days later, he had lunch with me.

"Have you found yourself?" I asked him.

"You call me all day long with BB Call, how do I find myself?" He still had that expression, "Can you not ask me where I have been all day long?" I'm 22 years old! ”

I thought about it, but didn't I! He graduated from college right away, and I was married at his age.

From that day on, I never checked his whereabouts again. Later, I learned that most of his month in Taiwan was spent in Tainan. In addition to giving lectures at the school, he also went to the Ruifu Educational Center for internships, and then volunteered at the Deland Wisdom Center. What surprised me even more was that when he and I were invited to hold a symposium at the Tainan Municipal Cultural Center, he actually led more than a dozen volunteers to perform a dance. He not only returned to Taiwan from New York, but also fully integrated into that society, and even learned a lot of local dialects.

-03-

The best way to find yourself for a young man,

It is to let him take the initiative to participate in society, care for others, and contribute to himself.

What makes me happiest is that he said he was no longer living in my shadow and he had found himself! I will never forget his concluding remarks at the Cultural Center on July 10.

He mentioned his days in Yujing Township and mentioned the group of mentally handicapped children. When he talked about the day he left Deland, watching the children's traffic car drive away, the child waved to him, in front of more than 4,000 spectators, he actually cried on the stage.

And the one who was always a dime or two cents with me, and who was worried about pocket money, actually donated the 70,000 yuan he earned in Taiwan to the Guanyin Line in Delan and Kaohsiung.

Back in New York, the whole family felt that he had suddenly matured, more polite, and more concerned about his family. On Father's Day, he gave me a neck massager and a pair of headphones for my father-in-law to listen to music. When we were going to take him to the Big Adventure Park, he preferred to stay home and spend time with his 80-year-old grandmother.

Even better, he no longer "counts small sums" with me. His heart widened, as if the heavens and the earth were also wide.

I suddenly realized that the best way for a young man to find himself is to let him actively participate in society, care for others, and contribute to himself. Because only mature people know how to care, only independent people can contribute, people are not mature in "love", but mature in "giving", and the more they give to others, the more they will care, we as parents, teachers, often forget that their children and students have grown up, so big that they no longer need our reprimand and supervision.

Source: China Education Online